Monster Crush

People are seeing something in the warmer parts of the ocean. Unlike any other sea serpent, this singleton is segmented, lined with flippers, and will give you whatever head you want it to. It’s the Con Rit, a potentially creepy crawly cryptid that lurks in the waters of Vietnam and, if all of the slightly connected sightings can be believed, lots of other places too! But with so many options for...

Happy Daddy’s Day! To celebrate all those monster lovers who appreciate some good daddy energy, we bring you the Greek Mythological Father of All Monsters: TYPHON! This hundred-headed, serpentine titan is ancient, virile, and looking for love… and also the devastation of the Olympians. But maybe LD can soothe his volcanic spirit and show a little modern TLC to this Ancient Greek BBEG. Featuring: W...

Monster Crush returns with a Heavy Hitter episode! It’s time for Derek to admit that he was wrong as we entertain the surprisingly complex world of the Jackalope and it’s many horned relatives! So get ready for things to get horny and harey (as in the animal, it’s not a typo) as we discuss the ancient history of lepines with nice racks, the rogue taxidermy that continued the legend, and the real v...

EPISODE 79: IS THAT A LIGHTSABER IN YOUR POCKETIT IS A TIME OF MONSTER SMOOCHING IN THE GALAXY…Ok, enough caps lock, this won’t scroll anyway. Happy Star Wars Day! In honor of one of the greatest epic space operas, we bring you our very first Monster Crush Star Wars episode! So feel free to get a little cocky, have a good feeling about this, and feel the love flowing through you as we search for l...

Hear that sound out there in the dark woods? Well pull up a log to the fire and we’ll tell you all about those things that lurk out there in the dark… and how cute they are! This episode we explore FEARSOME CRITTERS and don’t worry, there’s nothing to be scared of. I mean, so what if they probably all are made up tall tales, these Critters are lurking for love and you might just be the one to give...

In the March of Madness is back with PART TWO - THE WESTERN CONFERENCE (not that the cardinal direction has any meaning here). We are back with even more eldritch horrors to drive you to the very brink of madness... in a sexy way? Get ready the final rounds of our Salty 17-single-elimination-smiooch bracket featuring more tentacles and mouths than you can literally imagine. So strap in and strap o...

In the spirit of March Madness we give you a showdown between some of the most madness-inducing monsters ever imagined. Get ready for In The March of Madness, a 17-monster single-elimination bracket featuring some of the most notable eldritch horrors of Lovecraftian fiction. We get really deep with these old ones as we narrow down who is the most smoochable cosmic horror. Featuring: Lovecraft is a...

WaHOOO Happy Mario Day! Or rather Happy March 10 (MAR10)! To celebrate we pulled inspiration from everyone’s favorite plumber/shell-stomper to present two monsters from the real-world. So make sure you have extra lives and get ready for The Tanuki and the Kayeri!. The Tanuki is a yokai from Japanese folklore and mythology which presents as a shapeshifting racoon dog with a massive set of… attribut...

Take the jump with us into a whole new series of dates! For this Leap Year Derek presents LD with two monsters who use jumping as their primary means of motion. So hop on in, strap on, and strap in for the Pérák, the Spring Man of Prague, and the Jiangshi, the hopping vampires of China. Also, get ready for some Spooky News that also weirdly features a jumping monster and just so much more.  Featur...

Happy New Year… again! That is, Happy Lunar New Year and according to the Chinese zodiac it is the year of the Wood Dragon! So 28 episodes after first mentioning them, we are finally giving Chinese Dragons their own episode. Join us as we delve into the millennia of tradition and culture that have shaped the various types of Chinese Dragons and be patient with Derek as he does his damn best to pro...

Where do you plan to spend your afterlife? For some of the departed, they chose an eternity of entertainment in the theater! Join us as LD joins two of her loves: Scares and Stagecraft to discuss Theater Ghosts! These paranormal performers and spectral spectators are sure to send a shiver up your spine when all is dark except the ghostlight! Featuring: An unasked for deep dive into Derek’s religio...

With all of the change that the new year brings it's sometimes nice to settle down with something familiar. And better the monster you know... or at least heard mentioned once on a previous episode. We return for second chances for one particular monster who didn't get the spotlight before. This episode is all about The Van Meter Visitor! So join us for the tale of a pterasaur with a laser...

An episode just in time for your holiday travels (but maybe skip the bridge part if you are driving over one), it's Mothman Part 2! So strap in and strap on for all you've ever wanted to know about everyone's favorite winged harbinger of doom! Featuring: Here come the Men in Black, The Smiling Man, Mothman can smell your menstruation, bridge collapsing bummers, just all of the conspira...

It's finally here! Episode 69 of Monster Crush (nice nice nice) and for this very special occasion we bring you everyone's favorite cryptid harbinger of doom, the one and only MOTHMAN. And just because we can't get enough of this red-eyed nightmare beast, this is only part ONE of a TWO PART SERIES! Featuring: Mothman is a (tragic) Christmas story, cryptids who kill, touchable butts, We...

In honor of the important recent holiday, Black Friday (duh), we change things up a bit this week. Instead of monsters we discuss Cursed/Haunted Items! Would you purchase something knowing it's cursed? Many people have and in this episode we talk about three of the biggest cursed items out there. Featuring: The "Mummy" that sank the Titanic, A New Game: Damn, That's Scary to Look...

Ready for a cryptid that LD described as "unsettling in a sexy way"? Who? Exactly. No, who? Yes, exactly. That joke only kind of works in text but what does work is the Owlman of Mawnan! Get ready for big wings and an even bigger heart and an EVEN BIGGER set of eyes that will leave you in fear! Featuring: Batman: the cryptid of Gotham, Spooky News: Monster Mash Money and Goldie Hawn'...

Happy Halloween from all of us at Monster Crush! To celebrate this, the most monstrous time of the year, LD presents her first singletons! We get down and smutty with a group of singletons pulled straight from the mind of two-time Hugo award nominee, and writer of works such as Space Raptor Butt Invasion and Bisexual Mothman Mailman Makes A Special Delivery In Our Butts, Dr. Chuck Tingle! One thin...

Some bittersweet news for our humble show. Co-founder, co-host, and co-cryptowoologist Heaven-Leigh has had to step back from the show. She is safe and healthy but some recent life events (including good stuff like a promotion) have left her without the time she feels that Monster Crush deserves. We wish Heaven-Leigh the absolute best of luck and want you all to know that the second she has time t...

It's PART 2 of A Cryptid By Any Other Name! The final addition to this mini series of oddly-named monsters gives us a practical bounty of creepy-creature-delights. Derek presents Heaven-Leigh with the folkloric Jimmy Squarefoot and eldritch being, The Nameless Thing of Berkeley Square. We also discover a rival to THE WORST CRYPTID NAME EVER, stand back **********, Mel's Hole has some compe...

Looking for love in all the wrong places? Not anymore! We're armed and here to annihilate!!! In aMonster Crush first, Derek chooses which to kill between two insect cryptids. Judgment free, but these guys are GROSS! Do we need both of them, really? I don't think so! Warning: This episode contains sensitive topics such as genocide, brief mentions of needles, insects, blood, and spiders. Fea...

Get ready for a little playful biting as Derek is joined by a special guest, The Lady Dame (LD)! LD lends her lovely voice to the show for a special episode of exploring all things lycanthrope through the lore of Dungeons & Dragons. There's blood and hair in weird places so you know it will be a good time! Warning, this podcast contains discussions of body horror, arachnophobia, real and f...

There are a lot of them, they're fast-moving, and maybe the politest love interests we've ever had?? This week, the Tuscumbia Space Penguins set their sights on our grassy mounds! Insert another sexual innuendo here! Aliens! Featuring: Spooky News; Don’t Check the Weather; Milk Princess; Nice Guy (Derogatory); Kangaroo Leather; Geena Davis; Bloopers. We are proud to be part of the Sword an...

Is not a cryptid by any other name just as smoochable? This week we explore our romantic options with two objectively silly named cryptids, The Old Saybrook Blockheads and The Sandown Clown. We also discuss THE WORST CRYPTID NAME EVER, a name I will not type in these show notes. Strap in and strap on! Featuring: Is Your Sister HOT?, Spooky News, Objectively Bad Names, Ugly Aliens, Thing Facts, The...

This week we head to Papua New Geninue in search of God's little miracle the Ropen, a not-dinosaur that was consciously curated to eat fish, rob graves, and act as the best nightlight around. Take that, Devil! (PS: I tried to build an audio cave out of cardboard boxes I stole from my hot neighbor's recycling and it messed up my audio really bad, sorry!) Featuring: Sorry Dad!; Dino Yes or N...

Brrr, what's that? It's a b-b-blast from the past with our first ever FROM THE VAULT episode. We recorded this episode almost two years ago to the day and immediately blacked out, we don't remember a thing. Recently resurfaced, we've blown off the dust and present this gently used episode for your enjoyment. Blast the AC, bundle up, and don't forget your snow goggles, we're...