Monster Crush

WaHOOO Happy Mario Day! Or rather Happy March 10 (MAR10)! To celebrate we pulled inspiration from everyone’s favorite plumber/shell-stomper to present two monsters from the real-world. So make sure you have extra lives and get ready for The Tanuki and the Kayeri!. The Tanuki is a yokai from Japanese folklore and mythology which presents as a shapeshifting racoon dog with a massive set of… attribut...

Take the jump with us into a whole new series of dates! For this Leap Year Derek presents LD with two monsters who use jumping as their primary means of motion. So hop on in, strap on, and strap in for the Pérák, the Spring Man of Prague, and the Jiangshi, the hopping vampires of China. Also, get ready for some Spooky News that also weirdly features a jumping monster and just so much more.  Featur...

Happy New Year… again! That is, Happy Lunar New Year and according to the Chinese zodiac it is the year of the Wood Dragon! So 28 episodes after first mentioning them, we are finally giving Chinese Dragons their own episode. Join us as we delve into the millennia of tradition and culture that have shaped the various types of Chinese Dragons and be patient with Derek as he does his damn best to pro...

Where do you plan to spend your afterlife? For some of the departed, they chose an eternity of entertainment in the theater! Join us as LD joins two of her loves: Scares and Stagecraft to discuss Theater Ghosts! These paranormal performers and spectral spectators are sure to send a shiver up your spine when all is dark except the ghostlight! Featuring: An unasked for deep dive into Derek’s religio...

With all of the change that the new year brings it's sometimes nice to settle down with something familiar. And better the monster you know... or at least heard mentioned once on a previous episode. We return for second chances for one particular monster who didn't get the spotlight before. This episode is all about The Van Meter Visitor! So join us for the tale of a pterasaur with a laser...

An episode just in time for your holiday travels (but maybe skip the bridge part if you are driving over one), it's Mothman Part 2! So strap in and strap on for all you've ever wanted to know about everyone's favorite winged harbinger of doom! Featuring: Here come the Men in Black, The Smiling Man, Mothman can smell your menstruation, bridge collapsing bummers, just all of the conspira...

It's finally here! Episode 69 of Monster Crush (nice nice nice) and for this very special occasion we bring you everyone's favorite cryptid harbinger of doom, the one and only MOTHMAN. And just because we can't get enough of this red-eyed nightmare beast, this is only part ONE of a TWO PART SERIES! Featuring: Mothman is a (tragic) Christmas story, cryptids who kill, touchable butts, We...

In honor of the important recent holiday, Black Friday (duh), we change things up a bit this week. Instead of monsters we discuss Cursed/Haunted Items! Would you purchase something knowing it's cursed? Many people have and in this episode we talk about three of the biggest cursed items out there. Featuring: The "Mummy" that sank the Titanic, A New Game: Damn, That's Scary to Look...

Ready for a cryptid that LD described as "unsettling in a sexy way"? Who? Exactly. No, who? Yes, exactly. That joke only kind of works in text but what does work is the Owlman of Mawnan! Get ready for big wings and an even bigger heart and an EVEN BIGGER set of eyes that will leave you in fear! Featuring: Batman: the cryptid of Gotham, Spooky News: Monster Mash Money and Goldie Hawn'...

Happy Halloween from all of us at Monster Crush! To celebrate this, the most monstrous time of the year, LD presents her first singletons! We get down and smutty with a group of singletons pulled straight from the mind of two-time Hugo award nominee, and writer of works such as Space Raptor Butt Invasion and Bisexual Mothman Mailman Makes A Special Delivery In Our Butts, Dr. Chuck Tingle! One thin...

Some bittersweet news for our humble show. Co-founder, co-host, and co-cryptowoologist Heaven-Leigh has had to step back from the show. She is safe and healthy but some recent life events (including good stuff like a promotion) have left her without the time she feels that Monster Crush deserves. We wish Heaven-Leigh the absolute best of luck and want you all to know that the second she has time t...

It's PART 2 of A Cryptid By Any Other Name! The final addition to this mini series of oddly-named monsters gives us a practical bounty of creepy-creature-delights. Derek presents Heaven-Leigh with the folkloric Jimmy Squarefoot and eldritch being, The Nameless Thing of Berkeley Square. We also discover a rival to THE WORST CRYPTID NAME EVER, stand back **********, Mel's Hole has some compe...

Looking for love in all the wrong places? Not anymore! We're armed and here to annihilate!!! In aMonster Crush first, Derek chooses which to kill between two insect cryptids. Judgment free, but these guys are GROSS! Do we need both of them, really? I don't think so! Warning: This episode contains sensitive topics such as genocide, brief mentions of needles, insects, blood, and spiders. Fea...

Get ready for a little playful biting as Derek is joined by a special guest, The Lady Dame (LD)! LD lends her lovely voice to the show for a special episode of exploring all things lycanthrope through the lore of Dungeons & Dragons. There's blood and hair in weird places so you know it will be a good time! Warning, this podcast contains discussions of body horror, arachnophobia, real and f...

There are a lot of them, they're fast-moving, and maybe the politest love interests we've ever had?? This week, the Tuscumbia Space Penguins set their sights on our grassy mounds! Insert another sexual innuendo here! Aliens! Featuring: Spooky News; Don’t Check the Weather; Milk Princess; Nice Guy (Derogatory); Kangaroo Leather; Geena Davis; Bloopers. We are proud to be part of the Sword an...

Is not a cryptid by any other name just as smoochable? This week we explore our romantic options with two objectively silly named cryptids, The Old Saybrook Blockheads and The Sandown Clown. We also discuss THE WORST CRYPTID NAME EVER, a name I will not type in these show notes. Strap in and strap on! Featuring: Is Your Sister HOT?, Spooky News, Objectively Bad Names, Ugly Aliens, Thing Facts, The...

This week we head to Papua New Geninue in search of God's little miracle the Ropen, a not-dinosaur that was consciously curated to eat fish, rob graves, and act as the best nightlight around. Take that, Devil! (PS: I tried to build an audio cave out of cardboard boxes I stole from my hot neighbor's recycling and it messed up my audio really bad, sorry!) Featuring: Sorry Dad!; Dino Yes or N...

Brrr, what's that? It's a b-b-blast from the past with our first ever FROM THE VAULT episode. We recorded this episode almost two years ago to the day and immediately blacked out, we don't remember a thing. Recently resurfaced, we've blown off the dust and present this gently used episode for your enjoyment. Blast the AC, bundle up, and don't forget your snow goggles, we're...

Bigger, badder, bossier. Bowser may rule with an iron fist, but at least he has a kingdom. This week's boss babe isn't interested in anything except the total destruction of Hyrule. Uh-oh – red flag alert! (His beige flag is that he's a redhead.) Featuring: Spooky News!; Ice Planet Barbarians; F**k Scott Fitzgerald; Sex Pollen; Bitter, Old Witches; Tears of the Kingdom Spoilers; Holy R...

We talk about a lot of serious, real monsters on this show – like real, actual Bigfoot, and actually real Mothman. For this episode, we thought it would be fun to talk about totally fake monsters that don't actually exist (not typical of our show at all!). And these bachelors aren't just basic bad guys, they are Boss Bad Guys, Boss Hotties, Boss Babes. Digging deep into video game lore, De...

This week prepare to get hot, humid, and spelunked! We explore all the nooks and crannies of the world's stinkiest cave for a genuinely bulletproof love. Warning: this episode contains sensitive topics such as xenophobia, war, and antisemitic conspiracy theories. Featuring: U.S. of (Mothman’s) Ass; Midnight (m)Ass; Sharks; Spooky News!; Weird Poop; Hellish Hissing; Outside Cloud Inside; Biblic...

This week we go deep diving for love. You know him, you fear him, you may have built a home on him thinking he was a set of islands (it happens to the best of us) – it's time to unleash the Kracken! Warning: this episode contains sensitive topics such as death and necrophilia. Featuring: Alien’s Conspiracy Theories; News of the World: Bowser x Luigi; The Scent of a Christian; Movie Twists; Min...

That monster under your bed keeps you up at night with its rancid vibes and bad takes, but it can make you laugh like no one else. A werewolf keeps showing up at your work and demanding to speak to your manager, and you can't help but notice they are kind of cute. That's not your enemy; that's your enemy to lover! Seething disdain and tension so thick you could choke on it can only be...

I bet you thought, "Oh sure, they say they're back, but I've heard that before. We shall see in two weeks." Surprise! We're back a week early because we're trying to make it up to you, okay? We couldn't leave you sweating as you waited for more Bigfoot! Featuring: When dogs go wild; Patty's pendulous breasts;  I got kidnapped by Bigfoot and all I got was the ick;...

Risen from the grave and casually ignoring that we ghosted you for the last two years, you're not-favorite-but-at-least-top-100 most delightful duo is back! We couldn't return empty-handed, so we've brought North America's most eligible bachelor, Bigfoot! Featuring: Life updates; dead dove (open); famous woodworkers; Clark Gable lookalikes; Big Foot Facts!; Everything Showers. We a...