Momwell

Being a mom is hard—harder than anybody bothers to tell you. We believe in an image of the perfect mother: nurturing, patient, and joyful. So why are so many modern moms battling inner rage?  Minna Dubin , author of New York Times pieces “The Rage Mothers Don’t Talk About” and “‘I Am Going to Physically Explode’: Mom Rage in a Pandemic,” joins me to discuss the cultural and societal context of mom...

Do you ever feel like you’re losing your identity in motherhood? If so, you aren’t alone. Motherhood can feel all-consuming—especially when you’re carrying beliefs around it that have been prescribed to you.  Life coach Dr. Gertrude Lyons calls those beliefs The Mother Code—the wiring given to us from family, culture, and society. She joins me to share how to see the myths of the mother code, writ...

We talk a lot about the invisible load of motherhood—the way that so much of the labour in the home falls to moms, even before a baby is born. But that load has an impact on our partners too—leaving them without a role, unsure how to bond with the new baby.  It’s easy to think that nursing moms have to take on the role of feeding. In reality, non-nursing partners can help with breastfeeding too (b...

In honor of Black Maternal Health Week, I am happy to welcome women's mental health and reproductive psychiatry specialist Dr. Jennifer Adaeze Okwerekwu .  Black moms face health struggles and discrimination in the medical system, and they also carry an additional invisible load specific to women of color. Dr. Jennifer shares valuable insight into the world of Black maternal health.  Show Notes: h...

Whining is potentially one of the worst sounds we hear as parents. For most of us, it almost feels painful—like fingernails on a chalkboard. In those moments, we don’t always navigate the situation the best way. So, how do we get kids to stop whining?  To find the answer, I chatted with Joanna Faber and Julie King , authors of the bestselling book, How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen. In a rece...

Is co-sleeping right for your family? Is bedsharing the same as co-sleeping? What are the risk factors? Can you bedshare safely? Many families have questions about co-sleeping but aren’t sure where to find answers. In our previous episode with holistic sleep expert Lyndsey Hookway , we learned that infant sleep is nuanced. Today, Lyndsey is back for part 2, to talk about co-sleeping, bedsharing, a...

Little kids can be masters of defiance. We ask them to put on their shoes or brush their teeth and chaos erupts. The more we try to force them to listen, the more they defy and rebel. So how do we get our kids to listen, especially in moments of defiance? I sat down with Julie King and Joanna Faber , authors of How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen, to find out more about their simple, but effect...

If there’s one hot topic in motherhood that can get everyone riled up in an instant, it’s sleep. We often try to measure our worth as moms in terms of baby sleep, feeling like failures when we simply can’t get it to work. Unfortunately, conversations about a holistic approach to baby sleep can easily devolve into extreme feelings on both sides.   Paediatric Nurse and Holistic Sleep Coach Lyndsey H...

In last week’s episode, we took a look at how to recognize overfunctioning —when one partner tries to control situations and do everything themselves because of their own anxiety. Today, Dr. Kathleen Smith returns for part 2—how to stop overfunctioning in relationships.  With the right strategies, you can understand where overfunctioning comes from and how to evaluate when to stop. You can also de...

Do you find yourself being the overfunctioner in your relationship? Overfunctioning happens when you take on more than your fair share of the parenting tasks in an attempt to control or fix a situation that triggers your anxiety. It often leads to unhealthy relationship and parenting patterns, and ends up increasing the invisible load moms are carrying.  I sat down with Dr. Kathleen Smith , therap...

Whether you have heard the phrase “after school restraint collapse” or not, if you’ve experienced it, you know exactly what it is—when your child starts melting down as soon as you pick them up from school. If your child behaves wonderfully at school but falls apart when they see you, it can be frustrating for everyone. So what causes those after school meltdowns? Dr. Kristyn Sommer leverages her...

Becoming a first-time mom is a huge change. Most of us have romanticized expectations of what being a mom will be like. We think that it will be a time of love, cuddles, and joy. The reality of sleep deprivation, struggle, and difficulty stepping into the role can leave us sinking deep into mom guilt mode. This transition into motherhood has a name—matrescence. Perinatal Psychologist Dr. Katayune...

Preparing your dog for a baby is important and intimidating. What steps can you take to get your dog ready? How do you handle the introduction? Will your baby be safe? Will your dog become stressed? Certified Dog Trainer Dominika Knossalla provides safety tips for how to prepare your dog for a baby—creating a plan, introducing your dog to the baby, and minimizing the stress (for you and your pet)!...

Your personal core values are an important part of who you are—as a person, as a parent, and as a partner. But discovering, prioritizing, and applying your personal core values is easier said than done—especially when we don’t even know how to define “values!” I sat down with Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Dr. Cassidy Freitas to talk about defining your personal core values, why they’re im...

Managing mommy rage can be tough. We expect motherhood to look nurturing, peaceful, and loving. So when we end up feeling rage or losing our cool, we start to wonder if there’s something wrong with us. Guilt, shame, and regret weigh on our shoulders. But without the right coping tools and skills, we end up falling right back into the mommy rage pattern.  Dr. Ashurina Ream of Psyched Mommy and I an...

The invisible load of motherhood is a common vicious cycle for families. One parent (often the mom) becomes the default parent. That default parent takes on a disproportionate amount of labor in the home. They find themselves drowning in unpaid and unappreciated labor.  The resentment and overwhelming load lead to mom rage, resentment, and even marital problems. New York Times Bestselling Author E...

Postpartum blues are a common part of having a baby. Between sleep deprivation, hormone changes, and the overwhelming responsibility of caring for a newborn, “normal” life can seem impossible. Many moms experience weepiness, irritability, and mood changes as they adjust to life as a new parent.  But these symptoms aren’t always typical baby blues—they’re also signs of postpartum depression. So how...

Can you remember the last time you slept for five hours in a row? If an infant lives with you, there’s a good chance you can’t. Sleep is essential for us to function and makes us better parents, but sometimes when we talk about sleep training our kiddos, moms can be consumed with guilt. Are we putting our own needs above the babies? And does sleep training automatically mean allowing babies to cry...

Do you find yourself being the “stuff manager” in your home? Do you struggle with keeping up with all things toys? Or have you fallen into the myth that “once I find the perfect bins, the right shelves, color code and label everything - it will solve this constant mess?!”  The thing is, mess is not an organization issue, it’s a clutter issue. Declutter expert Katy Wells is here with practical advi...

The Happy as a Mother Podcast has been live for 100 episodes now, can you believe it?!?! I polled my stories for ideas on how we should celebrate the occasion and y’all said you’d like to hear from my husband and get his perspective. Well, you asked and we delivered! Frenel Djossa aka Mr. Happy as a Mother is here to answer YOUR questions about his transition to Fatherhood, what it's like being ma...

Have you ever felt like a simple parenting decision was going to have a lifelong impact? Have you been paralyzed with indecision because you don’t know what is best and don’t want to make the wrong choice? Parenting this way is suffocating and erodes your trust in your own intuition. Psychologist and Stanford clinical assistant professor Dr. Jen Douglas is back to help us break free from this pres...

Conversations with our partners become very high stakes after children are born. We come from different upbringings with different ideas of what parenting looks like, yet need to learn to work as a team. This can be a recipe for tense conversations or conflict with those we love. Licensed marriage and family therapist Elizabeth Earnshaw is here to introduce key skills that strong and thriving coup...

Do you find yourself wrestling with whether to have more children? Many moms I work with struggle with this decision for a number of reasons such as finances, the ideal family they had envisioned, their past birth or postpartum experience, and the readiness of their partner. While other parents may have come to the conclusion that they only want one child but feel pushed towards having more by the...

When you first learned you were expecting a baby, did you have a preferred gender in mind? Some people do and for a variety of different reasons. It can be hard to admit, but you may have even experienced some sadness if you learned the baby wouldn’t be your preferred gender. This is completely okay and more common than you might think. But since it can be hard to admit, it can also be hard to wor...

Do you worry about how your child will adjust to a sibling? Do you fear you will struggle with dividing your love and attention between children? Expanding your family comes with many mixed emotions about what this transition will mean for you and the relationship you have with your first child. Marriage and family therapist Bryana Kappadakunnel is here to help us ditch the worry and guilt about a...