Millennial: Pretend Adulting, Real Talk

Hurricanes, mushrooms, and homeowner woes abound in this week’s #Millennial. The Emmys were a snooze fest for viewers and presenters alike. Brett Kavanaugh gets the Anita Hill treatment: Dr. Christine Blasey Ford has come forward with allegations that the SCOTUS nominee assaulted her when they were teenagers. Did the Chinese government kidnap famous actress Fan Bingbang for tax evasion? Guess whic...

Pat is back with some big news: His fam won Best Cow at the county fair. #BumpkinLife Shockingly, Pat was uninterested in dating Show Andrew but came around once he met Real Andrew. Important Announcement: Andrew has hSv, not hPv. Why the hell do people not leave when a hurricane is coming their way? Stay safe, East Coast! Facebook Official Patrons ask two questions: Is Trump's position on trade j...

Welcome to the (shit)show, Angel! Do furries dress as red pandas? BREAKING: A senior White House official wrote an anonymous op-ed for the New York Times confirming the Republic’s dumpster fire status. 2018 Gift for $10 Patrons: a #Millennial sticker set! Facebook Official Patrons can expect to receive theirs in a few weeks (Make sure your mailing address is up to date!). Pledge at the Facebook Of...

It’s a full show this week: remembering John McCain, a victory in Georgia, and PSL is comin’ back baby! Actress and creator Mariana Novak joins us to talk acting life, voiceover work, Jason Bateman, and being Russian and American in the current climate. We always knew Paul Manafort would look great in orange… …and that Michael Cohen would flip… …and that the National Enquirer has a safe filled wit...

This week, listener Kelsey joins the show to give us public speaking advice (gulp)! Pam is back from Vegas with an explanation of how she met a Backstreet Boy and why she bought $20 avocado toast and thus will be unable to retire. How to embrace the nerves and anxiety surrounding public speaking? Remember that no one wants you to fail (unless your name begins with T and ends with rump). Facebook i...

One of our hosts spent $20 on avocado toast, so we fired her and warned that she’ll never be able to afford a home. Marc sits in, promoting Andrew to ask a barrage of personal questions as one does. Who’s getting guaranteed salaries, health insurance, bonuses for wins, and subscription payments? Gamers. The panel experiences a sudden desire for a career shift. JFK nOT DeAd CIA tOOK DoWn JFK jr. So...

Welcome to the end of 420 jokes - it’s episode 4x30 maaaaaaan.  Welcome Roshni! This week, we kick off a new $10 Patron benefit where we’ll be bringing on listener guest hosts.  This week marks the 53rd anniversary of the Voting Rights Act. The best way to celebrate is to check your voter registration status. Listener Kris is moving out of her apartment, and into her car. We call her, and she fiel...

We chose avocado toast over paying the bills, but we still managed to return from our summer break as promised. Where do we stand on Disney’s firing of James Gunn? How false equivalencies and absolutism have made this debate a frustrating one. Andrew made Laura a song, our listeners fap to Andrew, and much more in this week’s confessional. In altogether non-shocking news, then-candidate Trump was...

On this week’s episode, we take a walk on the conservative side. Listener Parker joins us to talk hot button topics like immigration, funding, healthcare, and abortion. If con is the opposite of pro, isn’t congress the opposite of progress? Several members of congress get duped into publicly endorsing a program that would arm preschoolers. Facebook wants to ensure you’re seeing more of the things...

We’re joined this week by Andrew’s paramour, Pat! Pat fills us in on that dairy farmer life: tariffs, and hormones, and nut juice, oh my! Speaking of milk, the US delegation to the UN made waves this week when they went rogue and blocked a resolution that would have promoted breastfeeding. Our BFFs over in Russia saved the day though! The “toxic fandom” phenomena continues to gain steam as stars a...

Happy 4th of July! The US still has over 2,000 children in cages. This week in more ‘America is fucked’ news, justice Anthony Kennedy resigns from the Supreme Court, leaving a second vacancy for Trump to fill. Disney and Universal Studios are banking on millennial nostalgia in their upcoming theme park ventures. We’re sure there will be an avocado toast stand on every corner! A Hillary Clinton The...

Andrew and Pam kick off the show with a spoiler free review of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. Speaking of fallen kingdoms, we provide this week’s update on the US border detention situation. Tl;dr: 2,300 children are still separated from their parents, and border patrol will re-vive the Obama-era “catch and release” policy. Sarah Huckabee Sanders and the Hypocrite’s Podium: as progressives, are w...

Welcome back, sycophants. Marc rejoins us this week to tell us what nerds should be excited for after E3. (The answer is ALWAYS Pokémon, duh.) Just in case you missed it… THE US GOVERNMENT IS PUTTING CHILDREN IN CAGES THE US GOVERNMENT IS PUTTING CHILDREN IN CAGES THE US GOVERNMENT IS PUTTING CHILDREN IN CAGES Got it? Jeff Sessions joins us to share some of his favorite fascist-inspired scriptural...

Who did it better? IHOP marketing their “name change” to “IHOB,” or Agent Orange marketing his summit with Little Rocket Man? All this in this week’s #Millennial and much more! We call Kate, a Canadian listener who schools us in provincial politics and explains the election of min-Trump, Doug Ford. President Trump tells our allies to suck a dick and leaves the G7 summit early to snuggle up with a...

Happy June, Happy Pride! We welcome Dr. Sarah Steelman to the show to discuss her research on same-gender pairings and degrees of “outness.” Sarah informs us on a number of topics, including queer theory, the Matrix of Intelligibility, and the impacts of heteronormativity, politics, and history on LGB persons. In the news: Apple’s iOS 12 aims to decrease notifications stress, SCOTUS rules in favor...

“Bless me #Millennial for I have sinned. It has been 3 days and 12 hours since the last time I threw my garbage on a movie theater floor.” - Andrew Marc (aka Micah?) joins us and gives us his E3 predictions. He and Andrew plan to get E-rect. We force Pam to answer some cringey interview questions used by employers to be hip and cool with the kids. In the news: The Celebrity President is leading up...

Welcome back to #Millennial! it’s 4x20 maaaaaaaaaaan. We kick off the show with a new segment, #MilleniHelp. With almost a third of the US population not putting away enough for retirement, what are we doing to save? Patrons sound off and share some of their best savings advice. Here we go again: we discuss the 22nd school shooting of 2018 and no one is surprised. Things the GOP will ban before gu...

“Happy Mother’s Day to everyone! I don’t want to see any more pictures of your mom!” – Andrew Please take this survey so we can help create the best Patreon possible! A Chicago bar stole our logo for their Millennial trivia night, so we’re giving away a free month of Patreon to Surprise Bitch! callers who prove their #lit knowledge. Apple hasn’t come out with a GrayKey condom to protect your phone...

#Millennial is back for another packed episode, and Hawaii is turning into Mount Doom! Is Roe vs. Wade in trouble, and is the anti-choice argument really about the sanctity of life? (Spoiler: Nope.) Love at first poke: Facebook is trying to clean up its #fakenews image and starting its own online dating platform. Californians will have to make a tough choice: avocados or solar panels - can’t have...

North and South Korea: are they or aren’t they? Speaking of couples who deserve each other, T-Mobile and Sprint are creating one network to rule them all (with shitty reception).  Michelle Wolf was savage at the White House Correspondents’ dinner, and we. are. here. for. it.  Democrats, Republicans, and the media alike were butt hurt to have the first amendment take priority over their evening of...

Uncle Andrew lets us peek behind the curtain of MuggleCast headquarters. Let's play a LoveGame, a LoveGame: Laura battles to the death to retain her BFF status, and things get heated. America's Dad is going to prison and we try to figure out what makes this case different from the many others like it. The first successful male genital transplant gives Andrew #hope. This email will self-destruct in...

Is there even a 1% chance our boyfriends think we have a pee tape? Find out live, just like we do. This message brought to you by grad school: fuckin everyone over, one podcast at a time. We dig into an explosive news week with a discussion -- and a game -- surrounding the latest Trump/Cohen/Stormy drama. We even stuff our mouths with marbles.  A new device allows law enforcement to break into our...

Laura introduces us to her slampiece and Andrew is erect. The Number takes on a decidedly ominous tone. Hawaii puts itself on the short list of states that allow medically assisted suicide. There are worse ways to go. A Chicago suburb bans assault weapons and we... aren't sure WHAT to feel. YouTubers learn that defining "controversial" isn't as easy as looking it up in Webster's. A very special ed...

A warm welcome to Zach, who brings a touch of sincerity and thoughtfulness to the episode. Fuel efficiency standards are being rolled back and we fuckin rampage. Uber fucks up bigly as one of its self-driving cars self-drives its dumb ass into a human being. It's tragic and telling. A fascinating new psychology study concludes that a person's attractiveness determines to what extent they think of...

A Stormy's comin, 'Arry. And you best be ready when she does. The Journal of Sex Research has released a comprehensive list of reasons (and remedies) for dead bedrooms in long-term relationships. We're fascinated.  Cambridge Analytica: What. The fuck. "Surviving middle school is supposed to be metaphorical." March For Our Lives breathes new life into the gun control debate. And no. Knowing CPR won...