Millennial: Pretend Adulting, Real Talk

DISCLAIMER: This episode of #Millennial was recorded prior to the release of Attorney General Bill Barr’s summation of the Mueller report. That said, check out our latest installment of BREAKING NEWS on Patreon for our analysis! Got Mueller Report hangover? Never fear! #Millennial is here! This week’s guest is Jule, our new #Millennial social media manager! Andrew somehow enjoys getting fillings a...

Trump is “something from a cold McRib” according to this week’s guest. We’re going to get along great! Andrew provides some native advertising for Disney, Laura submits a dog surgery claim, and #Millennial was ranked #8 on Feedspot’s “Top 20 Millennial Podcasts on the web.” #blessed Our social media lives! Long-time listener Jule has taken the reigns on the #Millennial social accounts, so you can...

Not such a small world: Pat is going to Disney World for the first time next week. Laura’s saving a whopping $12 on her student loan repayments over the next year - what should she do now that she’s flush with cash? Andrew brings his dental nightmares back to the show - RIP Andrew’s wisdom teeth. We all saw Captain Marvel this weekend and give a spoiler free review! And now we have to prepare for...

Need a break from the Michael Cohens of the world? Look no further than the newest episode of #Millennial. • We’re joined this week by official airline correspondent James, who’s here to make sure we sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight. • Andrew 2020: A voice the HOA can depend on (to make allowances for Brooklyn to pee in the garden). • Listener feedback features someone who was shook by a rece...

We’re thinking of launching an exploratory committee for a potential Presidential run in 2020, but in the meantime, tune in to hear our latest shenanigans. Who loves orange jumpsuits? Paul loves orange jumpsuits. Is it true?! “TIL not to write a personal check to the people I’m paying to attack me.” - Jussie Smollett Speaking of high-profile cancellations, R.Kelly turned himself in over the weeken...

The government lives to fight another day, as does #Millennial. Andrew’s HOA is too involved, Laura’s isn’t involved enough, and Pam has become a personal chef! (For her dog) “Uncle Joe, don’t run,” we imagine President Obama casually mentioning on his most recent brodate with Joe Biden. (Note: This episode was recorded before Bernie's announcement) The Confessional makes a return with an unsettli...

Worried about the looming (potential) sequel to the government shutdown? Listen to the newest #Millennial instead! Andrew has an important day ruined by a food delivery driver, Laura is at war with her HOA, and Pam recaps the Grammys. Preemptive RIP to Elizabeth Warren’s 2020 bid for President. We hardly knew ye. Listener Nicki joins us to talk job hunting and what she looks for when hiring candid...

Happy Black History Month! Stop asking for a White History Month. Pat is back this week, fresh off a urination tour around the Grand Canyon. Andrew and Pat definitely “don’t wanna be friendssss” with their seat neighbor at Gaga’s Vegas residency show. Listener Feedback: Fabi’s family is from Venezuela, and she’s a Democrat who… agrees with Trump’s support of opposition leader Juan Guaido. You know...

The government may have been re-opened for three weeks, but #Millennial has always been here for you. We welcome #Millennial’s official gaming correspondent (and nothing else), Marc, back to the show!  Andrew and Pat are about to head to Vegas where they will enjoy West Coast specialties like In-N-Out and painted rocks. Thoughts and Prayers: Andrew facing sub-arctic temperatures and Laura facing t...

• Friend of the show and official #Millennial conservative correspondent Parker joins us again this week to talk about the government shutdown. • We also get Parker’s reactions to the growing list of 2020 Democratic candidates and are surprised by some areas where we agree! • Andrew's got a new side hustle: A Podcast and Patreon consulting business! Hit him up if you need help with your own show o...

It’s 2019, but we peaked in 2009 so don’t expect us to participate in your 2009 vs 2019 selfie challenge.  Laura and Pam detail their weekend drama of cheese fries and Bachelor viewing parties.  This week’s $10 Patron guest is Shania, who is gracious and speaks openly with us about being on the Asexuality spectrum.  AP Choice: What advice to we have for couples getting ready to move in together? L...

We’re back for SEASON 5! (Sorry Andrew.) We recount our NYE experiences: little brothers, poopy plungers, and dogs shoving things into toilets. It gets weird. Announcing our new Patreon 2019 benefits: Face to Face hangouts, BREAKING NEWS, LANDY becomes one big show, and $5+ Patrons to get Mega Millennial episodes. AP Choice: Andrew and Pat relationship edition. $10 Patrons get to ask our favorite...

The #Millennial holiday spectacular is here! We’re live, on camera, and drinking! Patrons can watch video of our entire recording here. Our $5 and $10 Patrons gained access to a new benefit: an exclusive #Millennial Discord channel where you can chat with each other and the hosts in realtime! Head over to patreon.com/millennial and click Settings > Account > Add Discord to join in the conversation...

We’re gearing up for the holidays! Andrew and Pat are baking cookies, Laura is nearly getting murdered by repairmen, and the deadline to sign up for healthcare is December 15th! Listeners sound off: reactions to last week’s CRISPR discussion and a confessional about a sexless relationship. Since Tumblr is removing porn, we can go ahead and say RIP. On a lighter note, our Associate Producer Choice...

We’re back this week with guest Jared, who works for a probation and parole department. Will we get through the episode without bring thrown in the clink? Jared schools us on the importance of criminal justice reform, as well as the other areas our justice system has room for improvement. On the first day of Christmas Robert Mueller gave to me… Now that we can’t watch porn at Starbucks anymore, wh...

Turkey hangover has passed, the world is still on fire, and #Millennial is back! What did we do when we were off-air the last two weeks? Partied like fucking rockstars, that’s what. Jk, we all saw Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Weak Screenplays. The US spirals further and further into Orwellian dystopia. Merry Christmas, have some tear gas. George Soros, often accused of bankrolling left-wing con...

We're joined by Rachel Ritlop, the owner of The Confused Millennial website and podcast! California has had a terrible week -- Pam and Andrew have stories relating to the Thousand Oaks shooting and the horrific fires Midterm update: The Blue Wave's high tide continues, as Donald Trump declares that we shouldn't count all votes We talk to Rachel about how The Confused Millennial became her full tim...

Welcome to the 2018 midterms, which will never ever #%$&ing end. Light up a fat one in honor of the nation’s most reviled Keebler Elf, Jeff Sessions. Podcast friends! Check out the podcast Other People’s Lives for the inside scoop on being a 40-year-old virgin, a ghost hunter, and much more. The good: over 1 million Floridians had voting rights re-instated, over 100 women were elected to congress,...

It's Election Day in the United States, so we've created a special episode of #Millennial that is as long as the average wait time at the polls. Enjoy 11 minutes of fun, tears, and WTFness. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Pam and Andrew watched the LONG World Series, while Laura got heckled by a weirdo neighbor. We create a special 11 minute #Millennial minisode for when you wait in line to vote. Announcing the new $1 Patreon supporter tier - DTF! Come on, aren’t we worth $1? The MAGAnuts are at it again: shooting at a synagogue in Pittsburgh and pipe bombs being mailed to prominent Democrats and CNN. For a differe...

Listener Josh joins us on the show this week to talk Star Wars, Trump supporting relatives, and to make Andrew envious of his silky radio voice. Laura gives a review of Chicago, Hamilton, and a new definition of gang banging. Researchers at Oxford University report that Virtual Reality exposure therapy can help us withstand our anxieties. How might exposure training for the crippling fear of inade...

Elizabeth Warren, like many white people before her, is cleaving to trace amounts of Native American ancestry in her DNA results. Which brings us to the point of who gives a fuck?   The Confessional requires some advice from the #Millennial love doctor and friend whisperer.   Taylor Swift may have encouraged an additional 56,669 voters to register, but agent orange likes her music “25% less.” Sad!...

Want your first month of #Millennial bonus content for free? Confirm your voter registration status and we’ll happily oblige. Click here for more details. UPDATE: Fan Bingbang has been released - sadly, this story ends in tragedy for her bank account. Judge Kavanope was confirmed to the Supreme Court Saturday. Joe Manchin proved that there is no such thing as a West Virginia Democrat, and Susan Co...

Andrew's feeling a love for Patagonia this fall, but appears to be the only brand whore on the panel #Millennial PSA: If you know a white man being denied an opportunity because of his history as an abuser, keep him in your #thoughtsandprayers. CHECK YOUR VOTER REGISTRATION STATUS. THEN DOUBLE CHECK IT: Vote.org Dr. Christine Blasey Ford was poised, measured, and credible in her testimony. Meanwhi...

Live from the #Millennial Pulpit this week, we are joined by Alex, who is both a listener and a pastor. We’re shocked that such a good person listens to THIS show. Offensive Halloween costumes are back in full force this year. What’s sexier than sexual servitude? Do: Dress up like Black Panther if you want! Don’t: Paint your skin brown. Why is this hard for people? Is Deputy Attorney General Rod R...