Midnight Wisdom

Recorded 30.10.2024 Uploaded 02.11.2024 0:33 am. I have been feeling a lot of doubt on who I am. No job, no daily structure. And I worry about the progress I am making. Feeling doubt about my relationship. About not waiting to get the citizenship. And so on. But here I am.

27.10.2024 called Lily from Ducs phone. Angel week at yoga school. Did handstand class yesterday. Vinyasa Yoga today. Fought with Ashraf yesterday. I need to call Agentur für Arbeit to see if I get the money. New moon soon. Im sending Lily a letter I hope and wish she comes back into my life again.

20:47 15.10.2024 mom is mad

23:57 13.10.2024 having fun in amman. Week in Dusseldorf was great. Dreamt mad shit this week.

21:27 06.10.2024 tomorrow is october 7th. Im almost in Dusseldorf. Spent the train ride writing poetry for Basics: Of Life and Being and also for my adhd ebook. I spoke to a lovely couple about everything under the sun. Lovely interaction.

18:54 04.10.2024 07.10 is one year ago in 3 days. I talk about my last jump for the licence. I did the packing course this morning. Im heading to the library.

14:40 27.09.2024 Took a walk after writing linkedin posts. No packing course today, was cancelled due to weather (shouldn’t have been) and one learns quickly how skydiving is really a weather dependant sport. Just like my soul. So! I might have to do the license next year. And I dont mind it. I have to do 12 jumps anyways every year to keep the license. 5 of them have to be instructor jumps. I can...

17:22 24.09.2024

22:45 23.09.2024 after yoga class reflected on the week and Lilly.

22:13 22.09.2024 she sent me a message 5 minutes ago. I asked her to come downstairs. 00:52 im in the bus riding home. We held each other and cried for a long time. Walked, felt one another again. I went upstairs for a short while, kissed her cheek and left. She came down with me. She didnt need to.

13.09.2024 I dreamt I was in a house designed like a vagina. I drank yesterday for the first time in months and I ate meat and hat a wet dream straight away. So, should I be drinking? Also, I feel pretty bad for eating meat. Physically. I talk about my dream and then my current situation generally - whether I should do the Train the Trainer course and so on.

23:45 08.09.2024 I started a project that is a free online course for adhd. I am happy with the progress. I started this episode talking about the things in my room. That was very grounding.

01.09.2024 23:19 Sunday

07:51 23.08.2024 A bit unfocused looking at my phone too much. Arrived in Bremen. Nervous.

08:31 19.08.2024 Mon. Victor and Johannes came spontaneously after our call last Saturday. Was beautiful spending time with the buddies.

Babababoom 23:23 18.08.2024

09.08.2024 16:32 sitting in a park working through a lot of things in my head. Grateful for it.

16:12 04.08.2024 It feels right to end this podcast. I’ve gotten what I need out of it in this format, and now I’m changing the format so it serves me myself. Thank you for being here. Goodbye.

23:26 28.07.2024 Im at Lilly’s. It’s almost midnight. I recorded short audios throughout the week. I ordered an M1 macboon pro that was too bruised and had a bad battery. Ordered an m3 15 inch Polarstar after I got my salary. Sent out payments today. Got my tax money and sent most of it to my mom with donations on top. Sometimes I record what I want to dream before I do. Also recording what im gra...

Upload 23:22 21.07.2024 I recorded this on the way home on Friday the 19th. Stayed in the office and watched political youtube videos. Walked for an hour. Relieved my mind. Otherwise, I talked to Lilly a lot this week. I watched a Japanese animated movie about a singer who turns into an actress and loses her mind as she gets stalked, great movie)

14.07.2024 23:40 recorded before sleeping. A night or two ago. Talking to Lily right now. She’s so cute.

07.07.2024 23:33 Two recordings: First night in London and Story Dice ant and butterfly love story recording. Arrived Thursday 00:30 am and the story dice thing was on Monday. Watching a youtube video of a time laps of plants growing and its amazing. Ordered a M2 ipad pro 16 gb 1 Tb used in excellent condition for 1200 euro and a macbook air m2 8gb 528 ssd for 1200 also. Happy about the decisions...

23:53 30.06.2024

23:53 23.06.2024 it’s 11 days since my birthday. Damn time moves fast. I recorded myself for an hour for a course and didnt know I was recording in slow motion. I deleted the content this morning. Was funny and no audio was kept just the video. Met a woman who loves dreams, understanding them and writing about them - we discussed a few of my dreams. Fasted the whole day without intending to - stil...

23:23 16.06.2024 Im writing this at the last night of the yoga retreat. After drinking blue lotus flower distilled alcohol and doing a gong shivasana session. A lot of different feelings in general about being here but also happy about the experience and happy about going back. Was able to think about what I’ve been through and going through differently. How I’d approach being back in Berlin, hiki...