Midnight Wisdom

I'm off to see my brother and his girlfriend in Berlin tomorrow and I'm taking this chance to record maybe the last episode I can in this park. My life is in some form of interlude and I'm waiting to see in which direction it can go.  It feels overwhelming when you build up the things you have to do in life instead of simply sitting down and chipping away at them little by little. And it does...

I'm afraid of losing the moment. To forget how it felt, to let go of the experience I had.  It's my job as a writer to hold on to the moments I think that matter, and put them together in a way that creates more meaning to anyone willing to listen. So I can't let myself lose the things that happen around me. But it just gets so overwhelming keeping track of it all.  In the plane from Jor...

I was supposed to be at my graduation, but here I am, back home with my family. Did I make the right choice?  I think so. 

Yazan and I were inspired after visiting the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam. A trip he invited me to after we both graduated from university.  We recorded in the Amsterdam Vondelpark on a beautiful Saturday afternoon on the 21st of September 2019. Yazan was the person who convinced me to drop university in Jordan and come to Germany directly. One of the biggest decisions in my life that turned...

Now I'm sitting here, in the Hamburg airport waiting for my 13 hour transit flight to Jordan to visit my family for one week before coming back.  Amsterdam was insane. I love it there. I love how open the people are. I felt like I could be friends with anyone around me and deeply connect with people I've only seen for the first time. A feeling you don't get too often in Germany.  My flig...

A full moon. The microphone and me in an intimate embrace for two hours. 

Like clockwork. Tick. Tock.  I wrote this short story three full years ago and I wanted to share it with you all.  A story of a sleepless man, a black box and a shadowy figure. All coming full circle.

What's bumkk?

Four days left to submit to the thesis and here I am smoking in a park talking about how all of this fits into my plan.  Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not out darkness that most frightens us. What's your deepest fear?

With the moon ahead of me, a tea in my hand, myself and my thoughts. I roam.  I'm getting bored. And it's time to start having more fun with what I'm doing. There's no reason to be afraid, there's nothing to protect.

In this one I confess two things. And I go into my compulsive need to find a problem in my way of being or way of thinking. Which is funny and ironic because I'm basically identifying that as a problem. We're usually our own worst enemies. And frankly, I'm terrified of myself.

After spontaneously deciding to go to Berlin for a night, I'm back in Hamburg.  On the way over there I was like "What the hell am I doing on a bus to Berlin right now.. All I want to do is eat and sleep." But obviously I couldn't eat or sleep, I broke the day to day pattern of everything I was following, and now I was hungry on a bus with only time on my hands and a party to look forward to....

The need to be liked, the patterns of thoughts in my head, the narrative I believe and doubt at the same time. Desperately trying to find a problem about myself to fix. Who am I? If I had half a mind I'd book a bus to Berlin and party my ass off.  

I go through a lot in this one. Last weekend I went to a money management seminar for 2 days and it felt like they were trying to brainwash us a lot of the time. I did learn a lot though.  I also had a weird moment while meditating the other day. I detached myself from the meaning the word "Meaning" had. And realized the only meaning it really has is the meaning I give it. At the end of the day it...

I ran into Dominic in an event in Amman, Jordan, that I broke into with a friend of mine.  Representing Nvidia at the time as the head of Virtual Reality, Dominic went on stage with his VR Head-set with a huge screen behind him that showed us the experience he was going through. From his voice alone you could tell how passionate he was with what he was doing.  As he gave his talk, he too...

Before sharing the conversation I had with Dominic, the former head of Virtual Reality in Nvidia, I reflect on a few things that have been bothering me. Mainly my attempt at being clear and aware of the things I'm putting my energy in, and how I feel like I'm not sharing that clarity as best as I could.  At the moment, I feel like I haven't been developing the level of knowledge that I want w...

 "I fell without falling, I was somewhere else I always was, I was someone else I always was, but I was also still me." I passed out this Wednesday doing Bikram yoga. We were doing yoga in a 40 degree room, and as I followed the movements, the chain of who I thought I was melted away, and I became something else in a moment that felt like a lifetime. A lifetime that passed in less than 5 seconds. ...

Even the attempt at being genuine comes off as artificial.  I look into a few stupid things I've done when it came to the podcast, courses and the book.

Letting go is a part of our ability to get to continue. To create space in our homes, our lives and our minds to move on to the next step.  I start this episode by randomly showing appreciation to my microphone and it all carried on from there. As much as we consume and as much as we use in our world today, we disregard how we couldn't do a lot of what we think is very normal for us without t...

It's hard for us to know which thoughts define us and which thoughts don't. The inner dialogue constantly running the backstage of our minds. It's an interesting aspect to us to take a look at.  The thoughts and opinions we form without ever giving it a thought. About the people we love and the situations we find ourselves in. Thoughts that come and go so quickly, almost impossible to hold on...

 Just like that, I’m automatically on his side. He had no choice in that, he had nothing to do with that. But here we are, in a place where I’d do anything for someone who’s never ever done anything for me.  I’ve always wanted to be an uncle, and now I am.  We need to be careful now, another Gemini is on the loose ;) 

I recorded this yesterday right after finishing writing the last chapter in my book. I have 3 days left till I turn 23 and I promised myself I'd be done with the book beforehand. Let's see how that goes.  I was going to record this episode in the same football field I recorded in 6 months ago, and I was planning on reflecting a little bit about what changed the past 6 months. It's crazy. But...

I submitted a speech to the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime . I'm almost done writing Understanding Intelligence. The book cover looks amazing (I think :D) I filled in a few details I missed mentioning about my mushroom experience. 

I managed to convince my economics and finance professor of three years to record an episode with me.  I wouldn't say I "convinced" him because he was always down, he's always up for a new experience.  He's an investor, an analyst, a consultant and funny enough we didn't even bring up finance throughout the entire episode, but it was one of the more fun Midnight Talks we've had so far.&n...

Energy will always move.  Energy will always find more complicated representations of itself moving.  An endless representation we embody. An endless representation we exist within.  The way we talk, the way we dance, the way we dress.  The sports we play, the abstract thoughts we discuss and debate.  The changes in ourselves we see throughout our lives, the personalities...