Married to Addiction

We all have a 'To-Do' list, right? And most of the time it has WAY too much on it. But have you ever heard of a 'To-Don't' List?  And did you know that having one of those is actually far more important when you're the wife of an alcoholic? In this episode I will introduce you to the 'To-Don't' list, tell you why you need one, and give you some examples of what...

Do you have a difficult time with the idea of letting go of things you can't control? Do you envision people who do that as walking around in a La-la land of denial? In this episode we will talk about the difference between the two, and the truth is that they actually couldn't be more opposite. Letting go is rooted in one thing, and being in denial is rooted in something completely differe...

Ever feel not 'Christian-y' enough because you're struggling through this journey with your addicted husband? Sometimes we can feel guilty, ashamed, or like we're not a good Christian if we don't have 'the joy of the Lord' all the time. In this episode we'll tackle that head-on. I'll talk about what to do when you feel that way, and how to give yourself some gra...

I remember having a BIG problem with going to meetings when my husband was addicted. For several different reasons, which we'll talk about in this episode. For some of us they just aren't a good fit. So the short answer to the 'Should I go to meetings' question is really 'It depends'. In this episode we'll talk about who meetings are best suited for, who they may not be...

As the wife of an alcoholic do you ever feel like you just need a timeout?! I know I did....a LOT. This episode is a bit different than the rest. It's for you to listen to when you feel like you want to scream, or when you feel anxious, depressed, lonely, etc. In fact there is a scripture in this episode for most every hard feeling that you may be experiencing.  These words can bring peace, re...

I hear it all the time: 'But if I don't confront him he will think it's okay with me!' Will he though?? I confronted my husband about his drinking a million times. And guess what....it didn't change a thing except for MY journey through this. In this episode we will talk about whether or not you should confront your husband about his drinking, how confrontation might be doing j...

SO many wives of alcoholics tell me they feel like they are 'hanging by a thread'. And I know they truly do, because I did too. It is such a difficult, overwhelming place to be, but you just don't know what to do to get yourself out of it. So today I am giving you three things to focus on when you're in that spot. Within those three main focuses are several everyday things that you...

'Speaking life'. What does it mean and why should you care? The concept of speaking life is important in general, but especially while we're in a situation such as this. Negative words breed negative power, and positive words breed positive power. Just like many other things....one is from God, and one is from the enemy. But how do we actually DO this? How can we speak life into our si...

Sex. It's a topic that's not discussed much in this arena, but it's an important one that needs to be addressed. The relationship that we as wives have with our addicted loved one is different than any other because there is a physical component. In this episode I am speaking with Matt and Sheri from the Untoxicated Podcast, and they will be sharing both sides of how they navigated the...

You've probably heard me say this before: Knowing is one thing, but doing is everything. What exactly does that mean though? Well if you've been listening to this podcast for a while, and hearing a lot of suggestions to improve things but not seeing any improvement in your life then this may be for you. This concept is also known as 'Nothing changes if nothing changes'. We can have...

Are you familiar with the Armor of God? If not, then I encourage you to become familiar with it, because it is the perfect thing for us to 'put on' as wives of alcoholics.  The Armor of God will help us protect our minds, hearts, and spirits during times of trouble.  It's what we should wear during spiritual warfare....and having addiction in our homes requires spiritual warfare. Pleas...

It's kind of the elephant in the room. The thought crosses all of our minds from time to time: 'What if my husband never gets sober??' It's a hard thing to think about, but does that mean we are doomed to a life of misery if it happens? Absolutely NOT. In this episode we'll talk about a couple of aspects of this.  What would our physical situation look like? What are our option...

CHAOS. That's what my life was when my husband was deep in addiction. I was either constantly being pulled under by all of the awful things that were happening around me, or frantically trying to employ whatever 'damage control' I thought I could to keep things from getting worse.  It was a devastating way to live, and it negatively affected every area of my life. If you can relate to...

This is something I get asked a lot: What about my kids?  As mamas we worry about our kids anyway, but even moreso when they are in a home with an alcoholic parent. In this episode I will share with you some of the things I wish I had done differently when my husband was deep in addiction where my kids were concerned.  I'll also give you some great (free) resources that can help you help them...

Sometimes walking this path is SO confusing. Why are we being put through this? Why isn't God coming to our rescue? Why are we having to suffer ?? In this episode I'll give you some perspective that I think might change the way you look at things. If you feel like your life is nothing but endless suffering right now, then please give this episode a listen.  ________________________________...

The Married to Addiction podcast is one year old today! In this episode I will share with you some of the podcast's statistics, and we'll talk about the most listened to episodes, along with what the future holds. I also want to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you who have tuned in, whether you have listened once, or have heard every episode. YOU are the reason I'm...

Do you feel like you have only two options as the wife of an alcoholic? 1. Stay and be miserable until your husband gets sober 2. Leave If you're like I was then neither of those is what you want. Truth is those aren't your only options. There are actually four different ways that being married to an alcoholic can play out, and we will talk about those in today's episode. -------------...

The Bible says 'Faith without works is dead'. But what does that really mean? And how do we know exactly what is our part in a situation, and what is God's part? I was fuzzy on that for a good long while. But discernment here is especially important for the wife of an alcoholic, so in this episode we are talking about how to find the line between faith and works, and how to do each par...

Way back in Episode 4 we talked about some critical mindset shifts for the wife of an alcoholic, and that has since become my most listened to episode ever.  That being the case I knew it must've resonated with many of my listeners, so I wanted to do a follow up episode. In this episode I will share with you five MORE critical mindset shifts for the wife of an alcoholic.  These are all things...

Dark. It was so dark.  I was constantly bound by feelings of oppression. And that's exactly how the enemy wanted it. I now know that there is another way. In this episode we'll talk about getting out from under living in dark places, EVEN IF we are going through really hard things. If you are feeling overwhelmed by the weight of it all, then I really hope you give this episode a listen.  _...

In this episode I chat with Amy LaRue from Finding Hope.  Amy is a fellow wife of an alcoholic with a story to share that sounds like many of our own: a story of confusion, fear, and isolation. But her story didn't end there.  She is now the Coordinator for Finding Hope, an organization that supports families of addicted loved ones, and she has such a beautiful testimony to share of how God us...

Do you feel like you're not getting your needs met because your husband is addicted? I already know the answer to that, because it is probably the same as mine was. When you're the wife of an alcoholic it often feels like you're hanging by a thread. And NO, you don't feel like ANY of your needs are being met. In fact you usually just drag through your days feeling hollow and empty....

In the last episode we talked about understanding addiction as a disease, and how that can lead us to empathy. In this episode we will talk about how to not let empathy lead you into enabling. This can be a tricky line sometimes. So how do we effectively stay on the mercy side of the line without drifting over into the enabling side? Tune in to hear the one important thing you can do that will mak...

I think one of the hardest things for wives of alcoholics is that we just don't understand our husband's addiction, which makes it that much harder to handle it. How much of it is a choice, and how much of it is something they truly are powerless over? In this episode we will discuss addiction as a disease.  You'll get some insight into what is actually happening to our addicted husban...

This is a loaded subject, because reaction to this from wives of alcoholics usually runs the gamut from 'I HATE alcohol and would never touch it!' to 'Why should I have to change MY drinking habits because HE has a drinking problem?' So today we're going to dive into this head-on. I'll share a few things I think are important to consider when making this decision for yourse...