Marriage Lab

Warning: this episode is more sexually explicit than our average episodes. We are joined by Caitlin and Cole Zick, our friends and the directors of Moral Revolution. They share their 16 year sex story that in reality even predates them meeting. With not only medical conditions that kept sex from being enjoyable for Caitlin, she also had experienced years of sexual trauma as a teenager that made it...

Our friends, Gabriel and Debbie Mayes of themayesteam , join us to talk about how they went from being pastors and living in a 5000 sq ft house, to living in a 250 sq ft converted school bus as a family of 6, after Gabriel had had an affair. The beauty of God's redemption is how this devastating event caused both Gabe and Debbie to pursue their own healing and find new life for themselves and...

In this episode, we talk about what we've learned from Internal Family Systems (a therapeutic modality created by Dr Richard Schwartz) and the value it's brought in allowing us to bring compassion and curiosity instead of contempt to the parts of us that have damaging or unhelpful behavior. If we can learn to do this for ourselves, we will actually have compassion and curiosity for our s...

In this short but sweet episode, Aaron & Jenna talk about the small moment between stimulus and response (as Steven Covey puts it) when you have the ability to choose. This comes into play especially when we feel defensive in conflict with our spouse. Between feeling defensive and our reaction to it, we have the ability to choose to listen without defending ourselves, regardless of what we fee...

In this episode we interview our friends Angelo & McKenzie who vulnerably share with us the roles they played in their marriage for a number of years in which Angelo was the victim and McKenzie was the Rescuer (synonymous in this episode with "hero"). They share how these roles created some sense of comfort and yet kept them both stuck, Angelo without learning how to be powerful and...

In this episode we talk about how our personality and culture have shaped our normals and how those normals feel like absolute truths. The problem with viewing our normals as absolute truths is that it's a recipe for judgment and disconnection. We take this time to confess our own normals and how we've had a tendency to see the other's actions as value statements. We talk about how...

We're back for Season 3! In this episode we talk about the small habits we've implemented to feed into our connection with each other. The smallness of our habits pushes directly against the natural all-or-nothing mentality that we've traditionally approached every area of our lives with.  If you are wanting to grow your connection with your spouse, start small. It can be as simple...

We end this season still in the woods on our anniversary backpacking trip. Aaron shares a story about how he realized he wanted Jenna to feel like a failure and why he didn't want that to change. The key to opening the door to healing for them was in each of their willingness to engage Kindness and Curiosity instead of contempt. Jenna shares how she was able to locate her triggers with eating...

We're coming to you from up in the woods in this episode! We went backpacking for our anniversary and brought our podcasting equipment with us. It was worth the few extra pounds. We dive into our own journeys with engaging our inner scientist instead of the judge. The job of the judge is to pass judgment. You are either good or bad, right or wrong, guilty or not. The job of the scientist is t...

In this episode we talk with Dave and Jules Hill. They are the creators of HeartSmart ( https://www.heartsmart.family/ and https://www.heartsmartv.com/browse ) a curriculum for social and emotional learning used in over 500 schools around the world. We felt incredibly grateful for their vulnerability in sharing what Jules calls her unwinding that started about a decade ago. It was a painful season...

Michael and Lisa Kunz of KunzCoaching.com and TheDatingDiscovery.com join us this week. They talk about their marriage which is fairly young compared the 20+ year marriages they each had before their spouses died. They talk through their stories which had incredible parallels as they walked through grieving and trusting God after such a devastating experience. Their intentionality in pursuing an i...

In this episode, Jenna shares how her own journey towards health has paralleled Aaron's journey out of porn addiction. She vulnerably shares how her relationship to sugar was more than just a "sweet tooth" but a solution to the real problems that started in adolescence and continued into adulthood. She speaks to using sugar as a tool for comfort, reward and boredom and the core emot...

Our friends, Aaron and Casey Tesauro, share their journey in marriage of learning to be on the same team. For half of their marriage they would attack each other instead of the problem. Through counseling and a lot of intentional conversation they began to discover the pain behind problem and more specifically where that pain originated. They were both able to see the memories in each other's...

We're excited to have Dr Glenn and Phyllis Hill back on the podcast to answer some of our burning questions around the connection codes protocols but also to discuss the idea of creating a sexual friendship with your spouse. In this episode the Hills mention an exciting offer that is limited. Enter to win a free Connection Codes Foundation e-course by going to connectioncodes.co/marriagelab ....

Our friends Shaun and Jessie Boyd share how these two very different people find connection and spot disconnection. They also share their practicing the Sabbath and the benefits of the rest it provides. We enjoyed our common bond of having lived with parents as a married couple and the various relational dynamics that can play out there. Click here for the $24 Group Coaching Package  2 calls : Jun...

Our Georgia friends, Matthew and Katie Hale, share about how very different they are and how that shows up in the way they either easily or difficultly share their needs and emotions with each other. They talk about the growth journey and realizations they've come to as they've walked this out together. We also get a glimpse into the kind of bridal shower gifts that Jenna gives and while...

We interview our friends and neighbors Peter and Clare Mattis in this episode. They share about how they navigated their budding relationship during and after Clare's mom tragically passed away from cancer. They also dive into what Trust looks like in their relationship in a segment we'll affectionately call "This is Clare thing." Clare talks about working through her trust iss...

Our friends Jason and Lauren Vallotton join us to talk about their unique journey in marriage. When they met, Jason was a divorced pastor with three kids. Lauren on the other hand was single and had only dated a few times in the previous 6 years.  Their story of growing in relationship and then eventually marrying, her becoming and insta-mom to three kids is an incredible look into the difficulty...

Jenna and Aaron catch up on the last few months of chaos with a changing business, travel, creating and Airbnb and the ups and downs of managing their daughter's diabetes. They dive into what their connection has looked like as a result of all of this and how they are approaching this next season. The tears start to flow in this episode which was a unique and vulnerability-hangover inducing e...

Our good friends Doug & Katrina Bryant join us to talk about issues in their marriage that they are in the very middle of. Meaning, they are actively working on themselves and their relationship and they don't know what it will look like when they get on the other side of it. However, they are pursuing connection in the midst of it and have hope they will continue to get better.  Click he...

For this episode we flew across the country to interview our friends Dave and Katelyn Waite. We talk about the difference between complaining about your spouse and processing pain about your spouse.  Click here for the $24 Group Coaching Package  2 calls : June 2 & July 7 @ 9am pst Click here for the "Summer Support"  6x 10 min 1:1 phone calls with Jenna  On sale for $89 until June 2...

Our good friends Pete and Esther Hsu join us to talk about how their sex life went from a place of pain to a place of real connection and intimacy. Click here for the $24 Group Coaching Package  2 calls : June 2 & July 7 @ 9am pst Click here for the "Summer Support"  6x 10 min 1:1 phone calls with Jenna  On sale for $89 until June 2 Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from you...

Adam and Karissa King from Dear Young Married Couple join us to talk about their own journey into personal and relational health. Check out their podcast "Dear Young Married Couple" and their website dearyoungmarriedcouple.com.  Click here for the $24 Group Coaching Package  2 calls : June 2 & July 7 @ 9am pst Click here for the "Summer Support"  6x 10 min 1:1 phone calls w...

My sister and brother in law, Emily & Sam Baker, join us to talk about a rough time in their marriage and how they came through it. We dive into the questions that we all have inside of us that we attempt to get answered by our spouses, but can only really be settled with God. Click here for the $24 Group Coaching Package  2 calls : June 2 & July 7 @ 9am pst Click here for the "Summer...

Jaclyn & Micheal Miller join us to talk about their journey that involves Mexican prison, a failed adoption and the joy to be found in it. Click here for the $24 Group Coaching Package  2 calls : June 2 & July 7 @ 9am pst Click here for the "Summer Support"  6x 10 min 1:1 phone calls with Jenna  On sale for $89 until June 2 Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from your cou...