Marriage iQ

There’s one simple practice—backed by neuroscience and centuries of wisdom—that can reduce reactivity, deepen intimacy, and strengthen your marriage. It’s not therapy. It’s not communication scripts. It's not even date night. It’s the M word. In this episode of Marriage IQ, Dr. Heidi Hastings and Dr. Scott Hastings reveal the quiet, powerful habit that’s changed how they show up in their own marri...

What do you do when the person you love is battling anxiety or depression—and “buck up” just doesn’t help? In this powerful Marriage IQ episode, therapist Dr. Mark Ogletree and his wife Janie share honest insights from 30+ years of experience—both in the clinic and at home raising eight kids. They open up about how busyness impacts mental health, and what it takes to truly support a struggling spo...

In this episode of Marriage IQ, we tackle one of the biggest threats to connection in modern relationships: busyness. We’re joined by Dr. Mark Ogletree, a seasoned marriage and family therapist, and his wife Janie, to unpack why so many couples feel more like roommates than partners—and what to do about it. From long work hours and kids’ packed schedules to the constant pull of phones and screens,...

In this heartfelt (and sometimes funny) episode of Marriage IQ, Heidi and Scott tackle one of the most common struggles in marriage: communication. Whether it’s feeling misunderstood or not knowing how to say what you feel, disconnection can quietly grow. But it doesn’t have to. They share three simple, powerful tools—RDA, DEAR MAN, and FANOS—that help couples move past surface-level talk and into...

In Part 2 of our powerful conversation with Amy and Greg Langford, we dive deeper into what it really means to integrate eros—that life-giving, erotic energy—into long-term marriage. If you missed Part 1, go back to Tuesday’s episode to hear their origin story and how their marriage shifted from disconnected to deeply intimate. This episode is a must-listen for couples navigating mismatched desire...

Can a long-term marriage still feel alive and intimate—or are we just managing the household together? In this episode of Marriage iQ, we talk with Amy and Greg Langford, married 27+ years, about the two “buckets” of marriage: the domestic (partnership, parenting, logistics) and the erotic (passion, play, and desire). Together, we explore how couples lose intimacy through enmeshment and routine—an...

Vulnerability is the heartbeat of intimacy—but it’s not easy. In this episode of Marriage IQ, Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings explore how secrecy and the need to appear perfect sabotage connection, while real openness creates space for growth and trust. From joyful moments to painful transitions, we dive into how vulnerability shows up, how gender shapes our experience of it, and why support and dis...

In this powerful episode of Marriage iQ, we explore why vulnerability isn’t weakness—it’s the hidden superpower behind thriving marriages. When couples learn to open up emotionally, admit mistakes, and express needs without fear, they lay the groundwork for trust, connection, and lasting intimacy. We dive into: Why vulnerability matters more than ever in modern marriage How the “shame hangover” ke...

Building self-trust starts with overcoming the limiting beliefs that hold us back from embracing our true selves. In this episode of Marriage IQ, clinical psychologist and relationship coach Dr. Ray Doktor shares his inspiring journey of resilience—rising above childhood challenges like severe asthma, isolation, and experiences of racism—with the help of strong parental support. Dr. Doktor offers...

In this heartfelt and down-to-earth episode of Marriage IQ Real Talk , Scott and Heidi Hastings open up about the identity shifts that naturally occur over the course of a marriage—and how those changes can either bring couples closer or slowly create distance. Drawing from their own journey through parenthood, career changes, and personal growth, Scott and Heidi offer a vulnerable look at how evo...

In this soul-searching episode of Marriage IQ, we dive into one of the most overlooked challenges in long-term relationships: how marriage changes you—and what to do when you're not sure who you're becoming. From becoming parents to launching kids, career pivots to personal losses, the biggest life transitions don’t just change your schedule—they change your identity. And when that happens, even s...

In this powerful continuation of their story (see episode 56) , Portia and Chad Louder return to Marriage iQ to share how their marriage not only survived—but deepened—during Portia’s five-year federal prison sentence and beyond. Chad’s Side of the Story We hear Chad’s honest perspective as he stepped into single parenting, financial strain, and the emotional weight of holding a family together. H...

What does true accountability look like in a relationship—especially when trust has been broken? In this powerful episode of  Marriage iQ , we dive into the extraordinary true story of Portia and Chad Louder—a couple whose marriage was tested by addiction, legal trouble, and a seven-year federal prison sentence. Portia, once a thriving entrepreneur, shares her raw journey from prescription drug de...

What if your biggest marriage arguments aren’t really about money, parenting, or sex—but about time itself ? In this mind-expanding episode of Marriage IQ , Drs. Scott and Heidi Hastings dive into the surprising power of time perspectives in relationships, inspired by the groundbreaking book The Time Paradox by Dr. Philip Zimbardo and John Boyd. You’ll discover: The 6 hidden time lenses that shape...

What if one of the most powerful tools for improving your relationship was already happening every month—just largely misunderstood? In this eye-opening episode of Marriage IQ, we sit down with mental health therapist and hormone cycle specialist Shera Jackson Harper to unpack the emotional, mental, and relational impact of the female hormone cycle. From the quiet clarity of the menstrual phase to...

We made it— Marriage IQ turns one! And what a year it’s been. In this special anniversary episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on everything we’ve learned (and fumbled through) during our first year of podcasting together. From unexpected challenges to unforgettable wins, we’re getting real about what it takes to build a podcast—and a stronger marriage—one episode at a time. Expectation vs. Rea...

In this enlightening episode of Marriage IQ, Dr. Jeff Hill, a family finance researcher, and his wife, Tammy, a therapist and sex educator, join us to share their expertise about sex and money in marriage. Dr. Jeff Hill  uncovers surprising truths about how  money impacts marriage —and it’s not about how much you make: Why financial stress is the  real  relationship killer, not your income level H...

What if happiness in your marriage and family isn’t something you chase—but something you  design ? In this heart-opening episode of  Marriage IQ , we share how one of the hardest seasons of our lives—moving states, navigating financial stress, and supporting our kids through emotional and physical struggles—led to a powerful discovery: the  Live Happy List . The Birth of the Live Happy List When...

Shame can’t survive being spoken—but in many marriages, it’s never given the chance. In this powerful episode of Marriage iQ , we’re joined by Steve O’Connor , founder of Catholics Fight Porn , for a vulnerable and eye-opening conversation about the hidden impact of guilt and shame in marriage. We explore: 🔹 The critical difference between “I made a mistake” (guilt) and “I am the mistake” (shame)...

Can marriage be the most underrated health intervention of all time? In this eye-opening episode of Marriage IQ , we explore the powerful link between marriage and your physical and mental health —and the research might surprise you. From lower mortality rates to a dramatic drop in substance abuse, the science suggests that a strong marriage might be more effective than some medications when it co...

Ever feel stuck in the same relationship patterns—whether in your marriage, parenting, or extended family? In this powerful episode of Marriage IQ , we uncover the hidden forces shaping your relationships through family systems theory with Dr. Kathleen Smith , therapist and author of True to You: A Therapist’s Guide to Stop Pleasing Others and Start Being Yourself. What You’ll Learn in This Episod...

Ever wonder why you and your partner seem to have the same argument on repeat? Or why small misunderstandings escalate into full-blown conflicts? The answer may be lurking in your mind’s unconscious shortcuts— cognitive biases that silently shape your marriage. In this eye-opening episode of Marriage IQ , we uncover six powerful biases that influence how you see, interpret, and react to your partn...

In this powerful episode of  Marriage IQ , we dive deep into how  limiting beliefs and past traumas  unknowingly impact relationships. Joining us is  Jenn Pinkerton , a psychotherapist and clinical sexologist, who unpacks how childhood experiences shape adult behavior—especially in love and intimacy. Jenn reveals how  attachment styles, self-awareness, and communication patterns  can either streng...

Many couples find themselves struggling to maintain their relationship once children enter the picture. The demands of parenting can easily overshadow the needs of the marriage, leading to less happiness and more conflict. However, it's crucial to remember that your marriage is the bedrock of your family unit.  Parenting is undoubtedly one of life's greatest adventures, but it shouldn't come at th...

In this game-changing episode of Marriage IQ , we sit down with relationship expert Monica Tanner, who reveals the transformative power of asking for what you truly need in a relationship. Monica, a seasoned relationship educator and coach, dives deep into the strategies that can strengthen communication, foster intimacy, and create a stronger, more resilient marriage. Unlock the Power of Effectiv...