Marriage iQ

What happens when your childhood story starts running your marriage? Therapist and podcast host Malisa Hepner knows that answer firsthand. With a 10/10 ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) score and a lifetime of chaos, Malisa learned how unresolved trauma quietly scripts adult relationships—until we rewrite the story. In this powerful episode, Malisa joins Dr. Heidi and Dr. Scott Hastings to unpa...

In Part 2 of our Myth Busting series, Heidi and Scott take a research-driven (and very real) look at the narratives that quietly sabotage marriages—especially in faith-based homes. We unpack why “righteous = immune to hardship,” “waiting for marriage = great sex,” “sacrifice is always good,” “money will fix us (or we must wait till we’re ‘stable’),” “church attendance = trust,” and “betrayal means...

We all have stories we tell ourselves about what a “good” marriage should look like—but what if some of them are steering us wrong? In this Marriage IQ episode, Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings take a light-hearted yet thought-provoking look at the hidden assumptions that shape how we love, fight, and grow. They blend humor with research to show why some familiar ideas sound right but fall flat—and h...

What if the very thing that makes your marriage feel safe is also what’s slowly draining its passion? In Part 2 of our fascinating conversation with psychologist and author Dr. Bruce Chalmer, we dive deep into the “death spiral” of passion—how couples who over-prioritize stability can accidentally shut down intimacy and feel miles apart. You’ll learn: 💔 Why emotional distance often feels like dep...

Psychologist and author Dr. Bruce Chalmer joins us to share wisdom from 30+ years of helping couples heal, grow, and reignite intimacy. We talk about his “Passion Paradox,” the balance between stability and intimacy, and how different perspectives—including his Jewish faith—expand our understanding of love and marriage. In this conversation, we explore: ✅How his own life experiences shaped his ap...

In Part 1, we uncovered the 10 distorted thought patterns—like all-or-nothing thinking, mind reading, and “should” statements—that can quietly sabotage your marriage. Now in Part 2, Dr. Heidi and Dr. Scott Hastings take you deeper. You’ll learn how distorted thoughts trigger painful emotions, fuel destructive behaviors, and create self-fulfilling prophecies in marriage. More importantly, you’ll di...

Struggling with negative thinking in your marriage? Ever catch yourself thinking “I’m unlovable,” “We always fight,” or “Our marriage will never get better”? In this episode of Marriage IQ, Dr. Heidi and Dr. Scott Hastings break down the 10 distorted thought patterns that damage relationships—like all-or-nothing thinking, overgeneralization, mind-reading, and “should” statements. Drawing on Cognit...

Most couples will face challenges in the bedroom—but that doesn’t mean the marriage is broken. In Part 2 of our interview with Dr. Clifford & Joyce Penner, pioneers in Christian sex therapy, we explore the most common struggles couples bring to therapy and the practical steps that lead to healing.  What you’ll hear: ✅ When pain makes intimacy difficult—and why pelvic floor therapy changes eve...

Long before sex-positive podcasts and Instagram therapists, Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner were standing in front of church groups teaching about godly, wholehearted sexuality—in 1975. Scandalous? Maybe. Transformative? Absolutely. In Part 1 of this two-part Marriage IQ series, Dr. Heidi and Dr. Scott Hastings sit down with the Penners—authors, Christian (and other faiths) sex educators, and real-l...

 In this powerful episode of Marriage IQ, Dr. Heidi and Dr. Scott Hastings share their firsthand experience serving in Rwanda with the Dream Nziza Foundation—a journey of humanitarian service, marriage education, and global impact. Listen in as they explore: ✅What it's like to teach trauma healing, self-reliance, and healthy sexuality to women in rural Africa ✅The cultural barriers to intimacy a...

What if the most powerful boost for happiness, health, and stability isn’t found in a pill, a paycheck, or a new app—but in your marriage? This week we welcome Dr. Brad Wilcox, professor of sociology at UVA, director of the National Marriage Project, and author of Get Married. He unpacks why marriage matters now more than ever—not only for kids, but for adults too. From lower mortality rates to gr...

What if the very struggles in your marriage — especially around sex and intimacy — are the fuel for growth? In Part 2 of our conversation with Dr. Corey Allen (PhD, licensed marriage and family therapist, and host of Sexy Marriage Radio), we explore the deeper side of marital intimacy. Drawing on the Crucible Model of Dr. David Schnarch, Corey unpacks how true connection is built when two people h...

What happens when your marriage is tested by betrayal — and how do you grow through it instead of giving up? In this powerful episode of Marriage IQ, Dr. Heidi and Dr. Scott Hastings sit down with Dr. Corey Allan — licensed marriage and family therapist, podcaster, and creator of Sexy Marriage Radio. Corey opens up about his own story of infidelity, the turning point when his wife handed back her...

What marriage advice would you give Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce as they head toward “forever”? In this playful, lighthearted episode of Marriage iQ, we celebrate their engagement by sharing relationship wisdom inspired by Taylor’s album discography. From Debut’s lessons on individuality to Fearless growth, Speak Now’s open communication, Red’s emotional fluency, and 1989’s shared future-building...

In the last month, I lost both of my parents, who had been married for nearly 60 years. Their marriage had struggles, just like all marriages, but theirs was marked by deep devotion, rituals of connection, and faithfulness to the very end. This episode is my tribute to them—and an invitation for you to discover the wisdom in their imperfect but inspiring love story. FREE PDF DOWNLOADS : ⁠⁠⁠ https:...

What if true intimacy in marriage isn’t about saying yes—but about having the freedom to choose? In this honest and eye-opening episode of Marriage IQ, we sit down with relationship coach Amanda Louder to explore what consent, emotional safety, and self-awareness really look like in long-term, faith-based marriages. Amanda specializes in helping religious couples navigate sexual disconnect, and sh...

What if sexual agency isn’t just about saying “yes” or “no”—but about knowing yourself deeply enough to choose with intention? And what does healthy sexuality really look like in marriage—especially when you're navigating faith, family expectations, and years of silence around sex? In this eye-opening episode of Marriage IQ, we’re joined by certified sex and marriage coach Amanda Louder to unpack...

This is Part 2 of our two-part series on mastering intimacy by slowing down in the bedroom. Most men rush through love making—yet most women need time to truly feel desire. The result? Frustration, disconnect, and missed opportunities for deeper intimacy. In this episode of Marriage IQ, we take a deeper dive into the Sloth Strategy—a powerful approach that helps men create more satisfying, connect...

Most men rush. Most women need time. That gap? It’s where intimacy often breaks down. In this eye-opening episode of Marriage IQ, we introduce the Sloth Approach—a surprising but powerful analogy for male sexuality. Why a sloth? Because the best lovers move with patience, mindfulness, and purpose—not speed. You’ll discover: ✅ Why slowing down can skyrocket your partner’s pleasure ✅ The hidden di...

What happens when your personal passion becomes a public mission—and your marriage becomes the foundation for something bigger? In Part 2 of our powerful conversation with Ben and Malissa McKay, Missy opens up about her journey to becoming Mrs. Texas American—and how her platform became a call to protect marriages and children from the devastating impact of pornography. Together, Ben and Missy sha...

What happens when your dream feels too big—or your spouse’s dream feels like it’s pulling you apart? In this real and relatable episode of Marriage IQ, we sit down with Ben and Malissa McKay to talk about what it really looks like to pursue personal goals inside a marriage. From beauty pageants and real estate ventures to unexpected babies and emotional breakdowns, their story is anything but pict...

What happens when betrayal runs so deep that the very idea of forgiveness feels like a punch in the gut? In this powerful episode of Marriage IQ, we dive into one of the most emotionally charged topics in relationships—what forgiveness is, what it isn’t, and why it’s so complicated. From a 70-year-old woman who called forgiveness "the F word" after discovering her husband's double life, to Nobel P...

In Part 2 of our conversation with Robert and Sharla Snow from Master Your Marriage, we dive deep into the power of core values, emotional maturity, and creative problem-solving. From perpetual conflicts to emotionally charged reactions, we explore how learning to regulate, reflect, and realign can transform even the most persistent struggles. 💡 You’ll learn: ✅ Why 70% of marital conflicts are p...

What if the marriage you’re in isn’t the one you need to stay in—but instead, it’s time to build a new one with the same person? In this heartfelt episode of Marriage IQ, we sit down with Robert and Sharla Snow, a couple who beat the odds (and the statistics) after a rocky start full of contempt, control, and stonewalling. With 33 years of marriage and deep friendship now under their belts, they s...

Can a few quiet minutes a day actually improve your marriage? In this insightful episode of Marriage IQ, we unpack how meditation isn’t just good for your body—it’s powerful for your relationship, too. You’ll learn: ✅The science behind meditation’s effects on blood pressure, pain, and brain aging ✅How mindfulness reduces anxiety and boosts emotional resilience ✅Why couples who meditate experien...