Marriage iQ

You've spent years being a devoted spouse, raising a family, building a career, and putting the needs of others first. But somewhere along the way, have you lost touch with who you are? Marriage invites us to become one. But when does that closeness become unhealthy? And how do we know the difference between loving sacrifice and giving up too much of ourselves? In this episode of Marriage IQ,...

Have you ever asked your spouse for the same thing over and over, only to feel like they're just not listening? In this episode of Marriage IQ, Dr. Heidi Hastings and Dr. Scott Hastings talk with relationship coach, author, and podcast host Rebecca Mullen about why our requests often come out as complaints, hints, or accusations-and how to change that. Rebecca shares a surprisingly revealing s...

The very qualities that attracted you to your spouse might be the same ones that drive you crazy today. Marriage is full of paradoxes. We want security and excitement. Independence and connection. We want our spouse to understand us, even when we don't fully understand ourselves. And sometimes, the harder we try to get what we want, the further away it seems. In this episode of Marriage IQ, Dr...

You may know your spouse’s habits, patterns, and usual responses-but do you still stay curious about who they are becoming? In this episode Dr. Heidi Hastings and Dr. Scott Hastings talk with psychotherapist, couples therapist, and author Nancy Colier about what it really means to listen so your spouse feels heard and known. They explore why couples get stuck in communication ruts, how we can stop...

What happens when AI becomes the person you turn to first instead of your spouse? AI can listen without interrupting, respond instantly, and even help us find words when we’re struggling-but what happens when that convenience starts replacing the conversations, vulnerability, and mutuality that marriage requires? In this episode, Dr. Heidi Hastings and Dr. Scott Hastings explore how AI can become...

Losing yourself to keep the peace can quietly change the way you show up in your marriage. In this episode of Marriage IQ , Dr. Heidi Hastings and Dr. Scott Hastings talk with brothers and therapists Tyler and Brannon Patrick of the Therapy Brothers about integrity, identity, and the subtle ways we can betray ourselves to avoid conflict, rejection, or disapproval. They explore what it means to “ho...

What happens when just one person decides to show up differently in a marriage? In this episode, we’re telling some remarkable stories of couples who began making small changes-speaking more gently, showing affection, reaching out after years apart, choosing forgiveness-and watched something begin to shift in their relationships. We recorded this episode in Kigali, Rwanda, after teaching in a new...

You can love your spouse, want a great sex life, and still carry shame into the bedroom. Shame about your body. Shame about what you want-or don’t want. Shame about what you were taught was “good,” “bad,” or even okay to talk about. And sometimes those messages are so deeply ingrained that we don’t even realize they’re shaping our sexual choices. This week, we’re joined by our friend Dan Purcell,...

You can be incredibly capable, dependable, and attuned to everyone else’s needs-and still be disconnected from yourself. In this episode of Marriage IQ, Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings talk with psychologist Dr. Brittany McGeehan about the Powerhouse Paradox: how the same traits that can help you succeed at work, parenting, leadership, and life can create problems at home when you can’t turn them of...

Most marriages do not suddenly fall apart. They slowly weaken when couples stop addressing small problems, repairing after conflict, and intentionally investing in their relationship. In this episode, Nicole Sodoma joins Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings to reveal why unresolved conflict often matters more than the issue couples are fighting about. They discuss contempt, empathy, financial awareness,...

What happens when one spouse stops trying-not because they no longer care, but because they feel like they’ve tried everything? In this episode, Dr. Heidi Hastings and Dr. Scott Hastings take a closer look at “quiet quitting” in marriage: the emotional checkout that can happen after years of resentment, missed bids for connection, feeling unseen, or carrying too much of the relationship alone. But...

You can love your spouse deeply and still find yourself wondering, “Why don’t I desire them anymore?” Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings explore with Dr. Anna how everyday disconnection, the roommate dynamic, neglected couple identity, stress, and the expectation of spontaneous desire can quietly change intimacy over time—and she shares practical ways to rebuild attention, playfulness, emotional connec...

You probably think you’re a pretty good listener. But the moment your spouse says something you disagree with-or something that makes you uncomfortable-your brain may already be preparing a defense, an explanation, a solution, or your own point of view. That doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means truly listening is harder than most of us realize. In this episode of Marriage IQ, Drs. Heidi and Scott...

Your spouse may not need advice, solutions, or a better explanation. They may simply need you to recognize what they are feeling and respond to what they emotionally need. In this episode, communication expert and bestselling author Sandy Gerber shares four practical tools to help couples stop missing each other emotionally. You’ll learn how to identify your spouse’s emotional needs, calm yourself...

What makes a man feel safe to love? Many women want a husband who is confident and emotionally steady-but not controlling. They want him to be vulnerable and emotionally available-but not dependent on them to constantly reassure him of his worth. Relationship expert and professional matchmaker Paul Roseberry joins us to explore why healthy confidence begins with identity. When a man recognizes wha...

Nobody hands you a blueprint for marriage. You figure it out through misunderstandings, hurt feelings, unmet expectations, and a lot of trial and error. On Marriage IQ, marriage and sex researcher Dr. Heidi Hastings and physician Dr. Scott Hastings share research-backed tools, expert interviews, and real-life insights to help you communicate more effectively, strengthen emotional and physical inti...

Have you ever wondered, "What's wrong with me?" Whether you've struggled with desire, carried shame into marriage, or felt like everyone else understands intimacy except you, you're not alone. In this special replay from the Get Your Marriage On podcast, we join host Dan Purcell for an honest conversation about the beliefs many of us bring into marriage-and how those beliefs...

The way you handle conflict. The way you give and receive love. Even the relationship patterns you don't realize you're repeating. In this eye-opening conversation, Dr. Heidi and Dr. Scott Hastings sit down with relationship expert Larry Bilotta, who shares how the experiences and beliefs we develop in childhood become the invisible blueprint for our marriages-and why real transformation b...

Why do so many loving couples still feel misunderstood? Most marriages don't struggle because of a lack of love- they struggle because of a lack of understanding. In this episode of Marriage iQ , Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings welcome personality expert and bestselling author Marita Littauer Tedder to explore why your spouse thinks, feels, and responds so differently than you do. Drawing from n...

Most people think midlife is about hormones. But what if the real challenge is learning how to navigate an entirely new season of life? In this episode of Marriage IQ, Drs. Scott and Heidi Hastings sit down with Dr. Sue McCreadie to explore the midlife shift that so many women experience-and the impact it can have on marriage, identity, confidence, and connection. From empty nest transitions and c...

Most couples think their marriage arguments are caused by something their spouse said or did. In this episode of Marriage IQ, Dr. Heidi Hastings and Dr. Scott Hastings sit down with Dr. Mort Orman- physician, anger elimination expert, and author of Dr. Orman's Life-Changing Anger Cure —to explore a surprising idea: the real cause of anger, relationship conflict, and recurring arguments may not...

At the beginning of a relationship, doing things for your spouse feels natural—even joyful. But what happens when it slowly turns into silencing your own needs, opinions, and desires? In this episode of Marriage IQ, Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings sit down with therapist and coach Diane McDowell to explore how people pleasing can quietly erode your sense of self and create distance in your marriage....

What if the thing hurting your intimacy isn't a marriage problem at all? Many couples struggle with desire, pain, and disconnection without realizing a hidden physical issue may be part of the cause. In this episode, Dr. Heidi Hastings and Dr. Scott Hastings sit down with pelvic floor specialist Kristen Damery to explore the hidden physical factors that can affect desire, arousal, orgasm, confiden...

Why do we end up resenting the people we love most? Most resentment doesn’t begin with anger. It begins with hurt. Feeling unheard. Feeling unsupported. Feeling alone. Over time, those wounds can quietly grow into resentment, causing us to see our spouse not as a partner, but as an obstacle—or even an enemy. In this episode of Marriage iQ, Dr. Heidi and Dr. Scott Hastings explore how resentment de...

Have you ever had the same argument so many times that it feels almost watching reruns? In this episode of Marriage iQ, Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings sit down with couples therapist and author Raffi Bilek to uncover the real reason so many couples stay stuck in the same painful communication patterns — and the simple shift that can change everything. We talk about:✨Why trying to “win” arguments b...