Make Your Damn Bed

Another day of election grief ranting and some information on a "new-to-me" term: "The Glass Cliff". Links to the inspirational resources I referenced are here: Glass Cliff: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glass_cliff @imdaven on tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@imdaven?lang=en @WhaleDetective on tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@whale_detective?lang=en @BlackLiturgies on instagram: https://www.instagr...

Today I'm ranting about my election grief in lieu of a regular style episode. Links to the inspirational resources I referenced are here: Rebecca Solnit's Twitter: https://x.com/RebeccaSolnit ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor Rebecca Solnit's Website: http://rebeccasolnit.net/ Robert Reich's Video: https://www.tiktok.com/@rbreich/video/7434148767412030763?lang=en Robert Reich'...

Today I'm sharing even more techniques using neuroscience to help us escape negative thought spirals. All this is extremely subjective and not meant to be used all at once. Pick one, try it, and give it some time and repetition. Maybe it helps, maybe you move on to the next. Don't be so hard on yourself, either way!!! Unfortunately, negative emotions have a tendency to compound, however there is b...

Today I'm sharing even more techniques using neuroscience to help us escape negative thought spirals. All this is extremely subjective and not meant to be used all at once. Pick one, try it, and give it some time and repetition. Maybe it helps, maybe you move on to the next. Don't be so hard on yourself, either way!!! RESOURCES: THE ARTICLE: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/flipping-out/202...

Today I'm sharing various techniques using neuroscience to help us escape negative thought spirals. All this is extremely subjective and not meant to be used all at once. Pick one, try it, and give it some time and repetition. Maybe it helps, maybe you move on to the next. Don't be so hard on yourself, either way!!! RESOURCES: Marsha Linehan's Technique: https://www.campuswell.com/cognitive-distor...

Today we're talking about some common cognitive distortions. Not to brag or anything, but I’m kind of a professional spiraler. I have done it so well for so long that my internal anxious voice has taken me full circle and essentially become background noise. So while I have a million personal stories about me catastrophizing or spinning out about the future, I realize I don’t really have a ton of...

"Cynicism is a tool of the status quo." - Jamil Zaki "Billions of us are taught that life is a battle where winners take all and losers are everywhere. Our trust and hope are mocked as naive. By now,you know better. You can stay skeptical and avoid knee-jerk assumptions about people. You can remember that the media warps our view of one another and look for better data. Most of all, you can realiz...

"I am sure that we will recognize that there are some things in our society, some things in our world, to which we should never be adjusted. There are some things concerning which we must always be maladjusted if we are to be people of good will. We must never adjust ourselves to racial discrimination and racial segregation. We must never adjust ourselves to religious bigotry. We must never adjust...

Peace does not always represent justice or equity. Sometimes, it's good to be agitated. I think we can be hopeful AND angry. I truly believe there is room for both. “The challenge for us... is not to grieve over social change, but to guide it. ” - Robert Putnam RESOURCES: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_find_hope_when_youre_feeling_cynical https://www.theguardian.com/books/art...

"Studies reveal a recipe for disagreeing better: Good disagreers ask questions instead of making statements. They work to get underneath people’s opinions to their stories. When they spot common ground, good disagreers name it. When they are unsure about something, they say so rather than pretending to be confident. These ingredients each decrease the chance that dissent will devolve into toxic co...

"Ernest Hemingway once said, "The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them." He was half right. Trust doesn't just teach us about people; it changes them. It's a gift they repay. A reciprocity mindset means understanding this. Leaps of faith are actions inspired by that knowledge: deliberate bets on other people.” - Jamil Zaki RESOURCES: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/arti...

"Any of us can seek out more accurate, less cynical news. But don't forget that the stories you tell influence others, too. Gossip is our ancient media, and someone is probably tuned in to yours. Try to balance negative conversation with celebration of the kindness and honesty that you've witnessed. Be someone else's nourishing media.” - Jamil Zaki RESOURCES: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/artic...

Researchers find that people regularly fail to realize how charitable, trustworthy, and compassionate others are. Helpers are all around; we just don’t see them. Some of these mistakes reflect how our minds are tuned. Negativity bias means people pay more attention to bad things than good. Again, this makes evolutionary sense: It’s safe to ignore a sunset, but not a tsunami. As psychologist Fred B...

"Cynics often get people wrong, but that doesn’t mean it’s smart to put faith in everyone, all the time. Skeptics update their beliefs based hundreds of children, and then checked in with them a year later. When it came to depression and friendships, cynical children ended up the worst off, but extremely trusting kids did less well than those in the middle. Why? When judging humanity, both cynics...

"Cynicism is the theory that people are selfish, greedy, and dishonest. Like any theory, it changes how we see reality and react to it—in this case, the social world. Cynicism changes how we think, what we do, and what we don’t do." - Jamil Zaki RESOURCES: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_find_hope_when_youre_feeling_cynical https://www.theguardian.com/books/article/2024/aug/23...

"Cynicism is an understandable response to injustice and inequality. But in many cases, it is misplaced. Dozens of studies find that people fail to realize how kind, generous, and open-minded others really are. And cynical thinking worsens social problems: when we expect the worst in people, we often bring it out of them." - Jamil Zaki RESOURCES: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_t...

Today, we're reading the first few tips from "Eight Habits of Effective Bridge-Builders" and discussing what it means to build these habits. RESOURCES: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/eight_habits_of_effective_bridge_builders DONATE: www.pcrf.net Get Involved: Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + Links GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com TUNE IN...

Today, we're reading the first few tips from "Eight Habits of Effective Bridge-Builders" and discussing what it means to build these habits. RESOURCES: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/eight_habits_of_effective_bridge_builders DONATE: www.pcrf.net Get Involved: Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + Links GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com TUNE IN...

Four Steps to Help People Feel Listened To: H = Hedge your claims , even when you feel very certain about your beliefs. It signals a recognition that there are some cases or some people who might support your opponent’s perspective. E = Emphasize agreement . Find some common ground even when you disagree on a particular topic. This does not mean compromising or changing your mind, but rather recog...

Grief isn’t linear.  Grief doesn't happen in stages.  Grief is chaotic.  Grief convinces you that it’s all encompassing.  There’s no right or wrong way to grieve (aside from the obvious).  Be gentle with yourself.  I’m not asking you to pretend it doesn't exist, but I am asking you to endure it.  It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be different, but it will be o...

I recently received a request for resources on grief and loss , and I’ve collected a lot over the years because I’ve never been the most efficient at dealing with my grief; and although I don’t think grief is something that ever fully goes away, I do know from experience (and the wisdom that comes from it) - that it won’t always be unbearable. Today I share some science from Mary Frances O'Co...

 I recently received a request for resources on grief and loss , and I’ve collected a lot over the years because I’ve never been the most efficient at dealing with my grief; and although I don’t think grief is something that ever fully goes away, I do know from experience (and the wisdom that comes from it) - that it won’t always be unbearable. Today I share some science from Mary France...

 I recently received a request for resources on grief and loss , and I’ve collected a lot over the years because I’ve never been the most efficient at dealing with my grief; and although I don’t think grief is something that ever fully goes away, I do know from experience (and the wisdom that comes from it) - that it won’t always be unbearable. Today I share some science from Mary France...

In 1998, Psychologist Roy Baumeister conducted a foundational study that showed decision-making depletes cognitive resources, much like physical exertion depletes muscles. Baumeister’s studies found that decision fatigue leads to impulsive choices (gravitating toward immediate rewards or default options) or avoidance of decision-making (procrastination or refusal to choose). For example, judges in...

Years ago, when I was grieving the loss of a very serious break up, I was explaining to a friend that the grief was really intense not only because I was grieving a loss of this, but I was also grieving the loss of who I was going to be with that person, and I think about this a lot, the anxiety of all of the un lived lives. I’ll never get the unknown of all of the paths I didn’t and couldn’t take...