Make Your Damn Bed

(re-release) If you’re struggling to know whether or not you’re falling victim to the sunken cost fallacy in your current relationships, there are some reflective questions you can ask to check in and ensure you’re not settling.  Do you feel like you need to stay in your relationships? Or do you feel like you want to stay in your relationships? Do you resent the amount of time or energy you’v...

(rerelease) People seem to think because they have invested months or years of time into a person that they shouldn’t give up on the potential for them to change, when their current reality is miserable and undeniably better if they cut ties.  I have heard countless friends justify staying too long bad relationships with “but we’ve been together for so long” or “I’ve put so many years into th...

Rejection feels brutal because society taught us our value is in being chosen. What if we deconstruct that premise, together? It's about relief, not romance. It's about validation, not love. "If no one is going to arrive and pick you, you make yourself impossible not to keep. You become useful." - Meredith THE SOURCE: https://aftertheclouds.substack.com/p/the-fantasy-of-being-chosen-and-how Read J...

Do you know what you'd want to eat next if there was nobody else involved in the decision making process? What would you do if you didn't have to please or consider anyone else? Olivia is Growing's Post: https://www.tiktok.com/@oliviaisgrowing/photo/7639965256235633934 Read Julie's Medium Blog . Support JULIE (and the show!) Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON . Get an occasional person...

Do you struggle to answer the question: "what do I want?" Do you tend to put other people's needs above your own? Do you think the only way to be loved is through being helpful? Constantly making choices that put other people's needs before your own that force us to abandon our own well-being can slowly erode our ability to understand what we want. It doesn't feel like self-abandonment. It feels l...

a relationship is a space for both of us to breathe, when it no longer creates that space, we must be willing to detach from our expectations. Angela Han: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8ssTnrs/ life in focus with suttida: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8sGMw2k/ Jay: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8sG6RLT/ empathy without boundaries is dangerous and a form of self abandonment. Read Julie's Medium Blog . Suppo...

a relationship is a space for both of us to breathe, when it no longer creates that space, we must be willing to detach from our expectations. Angela Han: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8ssTnrs/ life in focus with suttida: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8sGMw2k/ Jay: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8sG6RLT/ Read Julie's Medium Blog . Support JULIE (and the show!) Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON...

I tend to neglect myself in relationships so I can focus more on creating peace + wellbeing in others, over my own. A good, healthy relationship will provide space to become more yourself. I have never experienced this. I feel this tendency to erase myself and nurture others with that extra energy. “Love is not staying. Love is showing up. If you cannot stay and show up then what your offering is...

don't die. - some days this is finding joy to keep me moving, other days it's simply not dying even though I can't move. don't let shame drive the car. - shame is a violent toddler throwing a very persuasive temper tantrum in the backseat. I have to stop giving that jerk the keys to the car. don't future trip. - if I lost someone I never dreamed of losing I also have to leave space to believe I ca...

He went to a wedding without me. He lied about my dad being sick when people asked about me. He was also regularly asking a woman from work if he could come meet up with her before shifts and after shifts. He had said "I love you" to another woman he sent thousands to for photos. I was devastated. And I spiraled. I hit rock bottom. So I spent a week drilling in. Leaning into the horrors and demons...

He didn't find it funny, as tricksters rarely do. Read Julie's Medium Blog . Support JULIE (and the show!) Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON . Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK . Info on War Tax Resistance. Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund The opinions expressed...

This motherfucker looked me in my eyes and said I promise there is nothing else that will upset you in here.  Read Julie's Medium Blog . Support JULIE (and the show!) Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON . Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK . Info on War Tax Resistance. Donate to the Palestinian Childre...

Today's episode is explicit.... but not as explicit as tomorrow's. This motherfucker looked me in my eyes and said I promise there is nothing else that will upset you in here. That... was a lie. Read Julie's Medium Blog . Support JULIE (and the show!) Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON . Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com Tune in on INSTAGRAM...

Coyotes represent a trickster spirit, thank goodness there aren't coyotes in this suburb of Florida. Read Julie's Medium Blog . Support JULIE (and the show!) Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON . Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK . Info on War Tax Resistance. Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fun...

I fall asleep ruminating. I wake up ruminating. Things are blinking and flashing on my dash but I can’t figure it out so I just keep trucking. I stop creating. It feels suddenly like math is a farce and chaos and disorder is the only reality.  Read Julie's Medium Blog . Support JULIE (and the show!) Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON . Get an occasional personal email from me...

“I don’t like it when the math ain’t mathing.“ - KENTHEMAN I can do anything temporarily as long as there's hope at the end of the tunnel. The problem is, if I can't see that light? I'm gonna be freaking out until I believe there's hope ahead. Read Julie's Medium Blog . Support JULIE (and the show!) Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON . Get an occasional personal email from me: www...

He lost his job and when I asked how much he had in savings he said "nothing." and I realized everything I knew about this man was a lie. But I loved him more than money. I grew up rightfully being called "trailer trash" and struggling to eat anything fresh or unpreserved. I would happily live on the street with this man. Read Julie's Medium Blog . Support JULIE (and the show!) Support + get some...

Today we discuss some of the red flags I missed. I picked my battles carefully and thoughtfully and got a therapist friend to confirm my question: rumination ocd can sometimes disguise itself as intuition.  I needed this to be rumination and not true intuition, so I willed it so. Shame is a demon and sometimes she takes over my whole being, so I am working on righting the ship (and not lettin...

Sorry for the delay, but I'm back... with a very personal story. Mikey has been my BFF since 16. I’m 38. That’s More than half my life. He’s always down for literally anything and will always offer to be the designated driver. He is generous and considerate as hell when he’s trying to be. He was the funniest person I knew before moving to Chicago for comedy and meeting real comics. He’s fun. He’s...

We all worship something, only when we become aware of what we worship can we recognize that the "default setting" isn't always the full picture. There are always alternatives, many of them better than the ones we thought we were stuck with. David Foster Wallace's commencement speech: https://fs.blog/david-foster-wallace-this-is-water/ Get Jenny Odell's Books Here . Buy Jenny Odell's book here . A...

We've talked about this speech before, but today I wanted to share the full thing, for context. We all worship something, only when we become aware of what we worship can we recognize that the "default setting" isn't always the full picture. There are always alternatives, many of them better than the ones we thought we were stuck with. David Foster Wallace's commencement speech: https://fs.blog/da...

NOTE: this is a rerun of episode 1059 because of some life stuff. I should be back tomorrow! If I’ve learned anything from getting older, it’s that we’re all middle managers of our emotions, our energies, our moods, our feelings, and our experiences. I’ve had a lot of different types of managers in the past that have taught me things about how I showed Innman and by recognizing my own capabilitie...

You are good enough. You've always been good enough. You'll always be good enough. There's always more to do, but that does NOT mean you haven't done enough. If we started truly believing that, the economy as we know it, would crumble. And I dunno, maybe that's a good thing. Decentering your "beauty" makes you more beautiful. Do you know how much time, energy, and money can be freed up when you sa...

Most people have very small margins. There's very little time/energy/money to focus on anything beyond basic survival. But for those of us with access to any margins (even tiny ones), we must be willing to expound upon them, exploit them, and set ourselves up for even larger ones down the line. Get Jenny Odell's Books Here . Buy Jenny Odell's book here . Listen to a different podcast episode about...

The most successful strikes, boycotts, resistance, and activism has stemmed from people willing to be brave, think differently, and utilize the protection of the margins they're living in. There are certain privileges that some of us are afforded, that can provide us with a "safety net" of protection in our acts of intentional resistance. As more of our safety nets are removed, we are less protect...