Magellans at the Movies

Everyone loves an underdog story, and no unlikely triumph gets audiences on their feet like those shocking upsets which unfold in sports. The victory of the Earthy Lovable Small Town Spotted Toads over the Arrogant Wealthy Big City Polar Bears is certain to move make you a Spotted Toad fan for life because the inspiring, uplifting story is so hard to resist. What's true in real life is often true...

Ah, the heady days of youth, throwing action figures down stairwells and smashing armies of toy soldiers together in shocking displays of poor generalship. You may remember these blissful hours fondly, but playtime may carry less nostalgia if you knew that every time you dropped G.I. Joe on his plastic head you were actually committing a grave crime against the health and dignity of a living, feel...

Fernão de Magalhães, or if you’re a lazy, uncultured American, Ferdinand Magellan. He probably isn’t a historical figure to whom you’ve dedicated much thought lately, or, you know, ever. Magalhães’s life and achievements may not make themselves felt in your day to day life, but there’s no denying he impacted history in a significant way. The benefits or harms of that impact, however, are, like lit...

Magellans at the Movies. What can I say about this storied institution, this foundational pillar of film criticism that hasn’t been said? More books have been written on the world’s most listened-to podcast than on religion, history, and self-help combined, and yet, the men behind the movies remain a mystery. Who are these two mavericks, these titans? Where do they come from? What divine spirit em...

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when I say the word “sports?” If you said something along the lines of the majesty of the human body in motion, achieving feats of athletic beauty and physical prowess as men and women test the limits of their strength and dexterity, then congratulations . . . on being WRONG, idiot! Sports, like everything else in life, is about getting cold hard cash, som...

Nathan and Elliot are back at it with their comic misadventures in movie reviewing, this time examining the 1958 Alfred Hitchcock classic Vertigo. Will they be made dizzy with joy by the charms of this thriller romance, or will they nauseously withdraw from the precipice in search of safer ground? Let’s find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.com Donate: https://paypal.me/ma...

Siblings. Can’t live with ‘em, absolutely can live without ‘em, but, unfortunately for those of us who are not criminally minded, circumstances often restrict our options. Life with a brother or sister doesn’t have to be all misery and movie podcasts, however, for some brotherhood comes naturally, as is the case for the titular bros of The Blues Brothers, a 1980 musical comedy directed by John Lan...

Obsession, it’s what I feel for videos of tortoises eating lettuce and the name of a 2026 horror movie directed by Curry Barker that Magellans at the Movies are reviewing today. Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.com Donate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_US Check out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.b...

Malls . . . uh . . . hmmm, that's a tricky one. Malls are no longer the lively, vibrant organisms they once were, after all. The few remaining malls that haven't been torn down shuffle around on rotting legs in a desperate search for sustenance, you might even say the shopping mall has become something like a . . . zombie? That's right, dear listeners, today we are returning to the undead apocalyp...

SIMON! GARFUNKEL! SHUT UP ALREADY! Sorry about that, folks, I’m trying to write the description for today’s new episode, but the incessant crooning of everyone’s ninth favorite musical duo haunts my every waking moment and turns my life into a living hell ever since I watched The Graduate, a 1967 romantic comedy directed by Mike Nichols. You may not have seen this classic tale of sordid twists and...

Please stop making me write these descriptions. I’ve never seen a movie in my life. Nathan throws plot descriptions into the pit where he keeps me and just expects me to know how to set up the episode with a few jokes and some basic information. I have a doctorate in applied physics and another in analytical chemistry, I don’t care about movies! If anyone is reading this, please send help. I'm bei...

Hello there! How about pigeons, am I right? What’s that? You don’t understand? How unfortunate, you see, that joke is a guaranteed knee-slapper in the standup clubs of Albania, but it seems the witticism’s humor has been lost in translation. Oh my, I see you’ve begun to feel deeply isolated and alienated thanks to the difficulty of culture shock. Perhaps you’ll feel seen by the subject of today’s...

Space. The final frontier, and the setting for innumerable science fiction books, movies, TV shows, and video games. Space being such a vast and, as far as we know, blank canvas makes it the perfect medium upon which to project stories about ourselves and our place in the universe, a fact of which many properties have taken full advantage, but perhaps none more memorably than Star Trek. Despite th...

Welcome to Gotham City. A gloomy den of exotic criminality where the rain is frequent, the people fearful, and the architecture alternatingly Gothic, Art Deco, and, uh, Chicago. Gotham isn't on its own in the fight against evil and inconsistent changing art directors, though; she rests under the protection of the Caped Crusader himself, Batman! The Dark Knight is one of the most recognizable and b...

The devil. According to various religious and folkloric traditions this dastardly fellow is in the details, better if you know him, and a beast on the fiddle. What, some bold theologians dare to ask, of his wardrobe? The popular imagination may propose a red suit, but what if he - or she - were to dress in a rather more high class fashion? That’s right, faithful listeners, today Magellans at the M...

Drugs. When just saying no to them somehow fails, their introduction into your life is likely to bring problems as numerous as they are unpleasant. For those of you unwilling to take the word of Nancy Reagan and Mr. T, a demonstration of the full breadth of addiction’s woes may be what’s needed to keep your seat on the wagon. Thankfully, there are plenty of movies to choose from, one of the most p...

Today we will review a 2024 James Mangold directed movie called, A Complete Unknown, and honestly? Same. However, you may feel better about your anonymity when you learn that the cost of celebrity is being a two-timing, contrarian, standoffish jerk who looks (and acts) like Anakin Skywalker in Attack of the Clones. Perhaps I’m being harsh. Many people enjoyed this movie charting the ascent of folk...

Law. It’s one of humanity’s oldest, most important systems, boasting manifestations as numerous as they are complex. From the Code of Justinian to those weird, uniform series of books you see on lawyers’ shelves, everyone can agree that the law is important but not popularly understood. In many ways, an impenetrable, interlocking structure of codes, dictates, exceptions, statutes, and other words...

Math and baseball, who knew they went together like burgers and fries? Probably all those guys with arsenals of complex spreadsheets who end up being the only ones who actually win big in sports betting, but for the rest of us dumb rubes I imagine it came as a surprise. Fortunately, you’re not alone, and if you wish to see how widespread your ignorance truly was, just watch the crow-chowing skepti...

William Shakespeare and his vocabulary of thous, thees, and doths has been the delight of literature nerds and the scourge of high school students since before ChatGPT had even sanctioned its first user delusion. Shakespeare is one of the best selling authors in human history (though he’s had a lot of time to build up that lead, to be fair), the most performed playwright in theater, and has been f...

The tragic sinking of the RMS Titanic was an event that saw the telling of many stories. Stories of heroism and valor as well as cowardice and ugliness. Unfortunately, none of those stories included a pair of young hotties who could be played by bankable heartthrob stars enjoying a passionate but doomed love affair, so the good people of tinsel town had to step in for the movie version. Titanic ,...

As the people in my basement will tell you, in hostage situations as in parties, your host is often the difference between a legendary, all night rager and a brief, unpleasant excursion sure to end in tragedy. Remember: as the one with the gun, you are responsible for the comfort, health, and restraints of your guests, and it takes a sharp, compassionate mind to juggle these responsibilities. With...

How many times has it been said? In order to navigate life, you simply must keep a good head on your shoulders. To be fair, this advice makes perfect sense: without a head on your shoulders, you’re sure to both look very silly, make very poor decisions, and be very dead. Or at least that is the lesson of Hereditary, a 2018 horror movie directed by Ari Aster and featuring a cult for whom people wal...

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, nerds of all ages, welcome to Magellans at the Movies Film Fight Night! We have an electrifying match for you this evening: a contest that has been raging across fandom for decades, a question that has divided geeks into two factions of noble warriors doing battle on message boards in the name of their preferred champion, a smackdown between two of the most fa...

Books! Books are great. They’re transportive and informative; they make you look real smart if you “accidentally” leave them out where they’re sure to be seen before guests arrive (“good heavens, I’ve left my copy of 2666 in the original Spanish in the freezer, oh silly me!”). Of course, refrigerating classic literature you’ve definitely never read is on the brighter side of the utility of books;...