LPN Deep Dives: Crescent City

Get them buns (and swords) of steel ready- it's a TUNNEL TALK LEARNING WALK!!! Much better than an Aaron Sorkin walk-n-talk IN MY PERSONAL OPINION but mostly because this one has NESTA'S SILVER FLAAAME ::guitar riff::. Woah-- who knew I'd be comin after the Sorkinator in this caption?? Anywayyyy, in this episode we go through ch. 12 and it seems that we got some worm lore and cave drawings to keep...

WE NEVER WANT THE WET TO TURN TO DRY unless it has nothing to do with a downstairs goosh and everything to do with being physically wet. In that case- PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME IN THE HELL THAT IS REMAINING PHYSICALLY WET.  In ch 10, we head over to the Viper Queen's lair but she ain't the only snake up in this piece. Does someone hear the SLITHERY SHREW alarm being sounded?! Or does the rest of the s...

 Oh this book ain't givin no normal grocery store's amount of torture. This is MEMBERSHIP CLUB AMOUNTS OF TORTURE. Big torture time. And that's not gonna let up any time soon but don't worry we aren't dwellin on all that TOO hard. In ch. 8, we have to deal with the riddles bein dropped by Apollion and Aidas to Hunt via torture-tired-dream but these two Princes of Hel are not droppin the truth bomb...

AND THEY SAID IT COULDN'T BE DONE AGAIN. Yes, Natalie and I accidentally dressed as the same character again but it's because we are gearin up for a BITCH V. BITCH TUNNEL SITCH and four warrior breasts are better than one. What? Ya see, Bryce is in Prythian and now she has a new Prythian Protector down in the tunnel whether she wants it or not. Nesta Number 1 and Number 2 navigate chapters 6 and 7...

Ima do things MY WAY it's my way or the FAE WAYYYYY. Did Limp Bizkit just enter the episode description? Yes but don't worry he's not trapped in this tunnel with the Silva Sobek Sisters because they are here to scalily annoy you with their very over cushioned faces! Natalie and Jackie are biting right into chapters 4 and 5 in this ep and boy does SJM not start us off easy! It's a torture party of...

UGH NATALIE REFUSES TO SUP ON MY SIZZURP. This episode covers chapters 2 and 3-- heartbreak comes in ALL forms in the world of SJM and sometimes that heartbreak is from a relative who refuses to get addicted to your body's heroin sizzurp. I JUST WANNA SEE IF SHE *CAN* GET ADDICTED TO ME is that such a crazy thing to ask? What's a crazier thing to ask is for your fighting slave dragon to GIVE EM A...

GUESS WHO'S BACK-ACK-ACK NATJACK'S BACK-ACK-ACK (do you hear the slim shady in that?) here we come to save the DAAAAY!!! (maybe a lil mighty mouse instead?) DID YOU MISS US?!?!??! We are back-in-the-habit sister act 2-style but don't worry we won't be turnin into nuns anytime soon! House of Flames and Shadow is here and it AIN'T easin us back in. We jump RIGHT BACK INTO where we ended House of Sky...

If you came to Crescent City to get a HEA from book 2, WE HATE TO DISAPPOINT YA! NOT A LOTTA HAPPY GOIN ON HERE SRRYYYYYYYY! We last left Bryce on a portal journey to Hel but that wormhole definitely doesn't end in Hel....... In ch 77, everything is looking as bleak as a battle can look when all of Team Fuck You gets Rigelus'd harrrrrrddddddd. Hunt is in Gorsian shackles and goes through the horri...

It's a firstlight party and all the Angel bottom holes are invited!!! If by firstlight party you mean a not party trapped in the Asteri's house with some torture on the schedule!!!! In ch 75, we jump RIGHT BACK INTO THE SCENE after having a huge truf bomb dropped by Agent Daybright but there's no time to talk it out. There's MURDER and WORLD SAVING to be done! Ya hear THAT, Harpy?! Oh you might ha...

GET READY FOR AN INFO DUMP ON THIS ONE but hopefully they won't be dumping the info where the Asteri take their lightfall!!!! In ch 72, we are following Team Fuck You as NOBODY follows the plans they set out with. Bryce is by herself following tubes and staring at *conquered solar system maps* to find out Dusk's Truth, Ruhn is running off to follow his downstairs nose to find Agent Day and Tharmia...

OoooooOoooOohhhHHhhhh errybody loves an "I LOVE YOU I MIGHT DIE TODAY" battle build up!!!! In Ch 69, Cormac and Ruhn start to have a bad-dad-sad-boy-brodown in a Jeep while Hunt gets his weapon sneak on before bumping into Celestina (but don't worry remember we are alllllll shrouded in secrecy protection!!) In Ch 70, Tharion and Cormac are in full on battle mode and Team Fuck You is getting to the...

Come on down to the viper's den THE BLOOD'S ADDICTINGGGGG!! In Ch 67, we start off with Tharion desperately needing protection (from his groin's choices) and running right into the veins of a SNAKE! Then Ruhn's groin is also getting him into battle position and maybe that's when they'd stop and think "is this all because I want my willie to get wonka'd" and the answer is yes AND.... it's to like,...

Dry January but make it WET! (ugh but NOT with the River Queen's daughter, Tharion!!!) This corpse-and-bitch duo is hanging with our goons while we get everything situated for the BLOW OUT ACTION at the end of this book! In chapter 65, we got a Danika Truther comin at us dog style and Bryce can't believe her bestie had EVEN MORE SECRETS? Get used to it, gurlllllll!!!! But also Baxian is a corpse t...

Bryce is giving a 'yes chef' to Apollion in this episode because when a star eating daddy tells you to WERK you WERK, BITCHHHHHHH. In ch 63, Bryce is desperately trying to hone her teleporting skills and unfortunately this time she's not practicing through teleporkin'. Ugh and if she doesn't go to Urd's Temple the Under King is gonna shred the already dead Pack of Devils ughhhhhhh she has ENOUGH O...

In ch 61, we jump into the middle of a TRYNA NECROMANCE party and of course Ithan convinced Hypaxia to use her powers to find Connor because Ithan only has the power to annoyingly get in the way and screw things up. Does she find Connor? NAY. Does she find heaps of trouble instead? YAY. Ugh then we go over to the brainbridge with our spy loves but Daybright knows Night is Ruhn..... BUT WHO IS DAYB...

OHHH TO BE FANCY AT AN AUTUMNAL EQUINOX BALLLLLLL ohhhhh and that's where we find ourselves at the top of ch. 59 and errybody in our fam is having a TIME ABOUT IT! Autumn King is pissed cuz Bryce is out here droppin truths (although she told NOBODY SHE PLANNED TO) and Hunt can't keep his lightning off her big bangin body. In ch 60, Ruhn is hanging with his betrothèd Hypaxia until she feels compell...

It's a bro-thel and I'm not the ho-thel they want but the ONE THAT THEY NEED. We start ch 56 with a wolf boy on the mend (ugh unfortunately Hypaxia's soooo magical medicinally smart that Ithan's throat isn't gone forever 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫), we find out that Hypaxia and Tharion are BUDDIESSSSSS and that Tharion would love to add his fins to the boy's Party Haüs. CUTTTEEEE I hope they play a lott...

In chapter 54, it's time for Bryce to TALK OUT SOME OF THE DECISIONS SHE HAS MADE but first she needs to be annoyed by Daddy King telling her about her forced name change! UGH STAY OUT OF MY LIFE DADDY but maybe she just needs a bitch seshhhhhhhh and who does she call? Not the Ghostbusters (because I think they'd probably disrupt Hypaxia and all her necromancy and ghost tutors and stuff?) but mayb...

YOU KNOW WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKIN FOR A FISHASS TO FIGHT! But a fishHEAD? Oh no, I wouldn't open THAT can of worms! In Chapter 52, we find Tharion and I'm starting to think that the River Queen just KNOWS that Tharion is not very good at being Captain of Intelligence and keeps him there because she knows he's gonna EFF IT ALL UP? When we get back to Ruhn's place we see that HYPAXIA HAS ENTERED THE CHA...

OH GOSH YOU KNOW WE ARE STILL IN A LOTTA TROUBLE and somehow more trouble just KEEPS finding us??? In chapters 49-51, we travel with our mated Bryce and Hunt but they are currently not in the greatest of moods as they visit the Viper Queen in the Meat Market. Everyone in this book keeps manifesting more chaos and that INCLUDES the child slave/boring human child Emile. Bryce keeps making CHOICES ou...

On today's episode, Natalie and Jackie end part 2 and head right into Part 3: The Pit and even though it's not talking about an underarm you can still believe that our gang is gonna be finding themselves in some STANK. Our scooby squad is found back with the corpse of Sophie Renast and she has some questionable etchings in her chest?? NOT HELPING CORMAC'S GRIEF. Ugh and boring Cormac won't even le...

 As we discuss chapters 45 and 46, did Ithan maybe accidentally make one decision that was kinda good? YES! Will they probably still get in a lotta trouble for it? DOUBLE YES! But for now, Ithan can wag his tail like a good boy because we have added three new ring slave fire sprites and a sexy nude mean dragon lady to the party house! Cut back to our Squid Ship Savior, we also meet a cavernous bio...

As we careen through chapters 42 and 43, we have poor exhausted Cormac teleporting all his besties to the WET RUMBLE! These mechsuits are creepy deepy and how the h are they going to stop them? GET A MECHXPERT IN HERE! Pippa certainly ain't helping and she proves herself to be a REBEL AND SHE'LL NEVER EVER BE ANY GOOD! She's a rebel cuz she never ever does what she should! Hunt has gone electrofyi...

This episode covers chapter 42 and she is thiccccc with events and questionable choices!! Even though Bryce is FAILING on the gal pal front, she is KILLIN it with the angel kiki she is having with Celestina! HOORAY SHE FREED HUNT'S LOINS but he ain't the only thing freed in this chapter! Ithan meets the poor freed mystic and gets some idears for them big astronomer SPRITE PRISON rings. Tharion is...

Oh what a barely corporeal duo we make!!! On today's episode of LPN Romantasy Deep Dives we go through Chapters 39-41 to find LOTS OF LORE and plenty of questionable decisions!! The team finds themselves in quite a predicament with the mystics and THANATOS THE PRINCE OF THE RAVINE?? Ugh, thanks Ithan 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 and then MORDOC shows up and even though that sounds like a wolf fun times party IT...