"Love, Sex, Lies and Reality" Talks

Have you ever found yourself repeating patterns and cycles in your relationship? Have you always thought it was your partner's fault and never taken a deep dive into how you were attracting such partners? Listen in and learn more... www.kemisogunle.com

It's another Valentine's Day weekend. There will be the gifts, flowers and chocolates for those in a relationship. Singles who are not in a relationship don't have to feel bad about being alone this year...have compassion for yourself and treat yourself with love. Become the love you need. Find happiness within and heal from any emotional wound/trauma that may be the road blockers. For couples, do...

Healing from a breakup, divorce or losss of a loved one can be challenging especially when there is buried pain/trauma. You may have become emotionally numb to some of your life experiences by choice.  However, without uncovering those areas where you have shut down emotionally, you may find yourself repeating patterns that become habits and eventually a lifestyle. “We become conditioned by r...

Have you ever met someone and your initial conversations began with their painful past experiences? You listen to them and it seems you share similar experiences.  You begin to sympathize than empathize and try to become the adviser and fixer. This is how emotional and trauma dumping begins. If you are not consciously aware of who you are, if you haven't healed from the past, if you are not y...

Oftentimes, we think the end of a relationship is the end of our world. However, it is the beginning of a conscious awakening to discovering who we truly are created to be.  The end of a relationship is another phase to finding your true self.  It is the phase that exposes the "naked truth" that you don't know who you are. You have a choice to connect to the real you or continue to get l...

We often confuse what true love is with romantic love. We forget that love is unique to each one and it takes knowing who you truly are as love, before learning to commune with someone else to share the love with. We are all born with and in love...in the image and likeness of God, Love Himself. However, we become conditioned by our caregivers into believing and mirroring their version of love wit...

2021 is a year of elevation and what that means is that you have to step up your game if you want to go far in life’s journey. Here are some steps to take if you want to live your best life going forward: 1. Be Intentional about Your Life. Be Committed to Yourself. Be Flexible and Open to Learn and Receive. Be Coachable and Teachable. No one knows everything and you have to become humble to receiv...

Have you ever found yourself repeating patterns and cycles, dating the wrong type of partners or doing things you do not want? Emotional trauma/wounds allow us to live in our shadows while fear and ego dominate and make irrational decisions on our behalf. We acquire emotional trauma/wounds from childhood and these create limited beliefs, illusions and leave us conditioned while living in/with fear...

Finding a partner who will complement you, involves know what you are bringing to the table as well as what you are being served with at the table. It also entails not just sitting at the table but dining at the table. You can sit at the table and not be served and that is not what you need when it comes to having a successful as well as a healthy relationship. If you come to the table with expect...

Have you ever had to ask yourself why you keep meeting the wrong type of partners? Does it feel like you are the bull's eye for unhealthy relationships? Reality is that there are no wrong or right partners. We tend to attract the opposite sex in relationships, based on where we are with ourselves. You attract who you are. Growing up in an environment where you may not have received attention, affe...

Have you ever pondered on what your greatest fear is?  Most of the time, the greatest fear we have is that others will discover our truth and shame us. We fear what they will think, say or do. Reality is that when we allow fear to hold us back, we will never truly discover our inner strengths and true self. "Your greatest fear, holds your greatest strengths." - excerpt, "Beyond the Pain." Cop...

As women, we have the desire to meet the one but without healing from our childhood pain/trauma, those emotional wounds lead us to create fantasies and illusions about 'Prince Charming.' The image of the man from the fantasies is mostly a reflection of the father we never had...the love we never received as a child, the abuse we have gone through, the abandonment/rejection/neglect. The image of th...

"There can be no life without relationships and there can be no relationship without life." - Kemi Sogunle Be it friendship, romantic, family or workplace relationship, we must always ensure that we understand each person's role in our lives and vice versa. How meaningful or purposeful are the relationships you currently have? Do you know each person's purpose in your life as well as yours in thei...

Having a partner is great especially when you have been single for a long while.  You finally meet someone but you may not be consciously aware of the choices you are making as you are running on your emotions. It feels good to have someone shower you with so much affection and attention. It just feels right and you believe you have found "The One." You may get showered with the gifts, text m...

At some point in our lives, we all play mind games especially when we do not know ourselves.  Mind games make us feel powerful especially when we have buried and unhealed pain/trauma. Mind games help us escape taking ownership of our emotions and feelings.  Here are some ways we play mind games: 1. Setting unrealistic expectations - expecting others to meet our needs without making an at...

As a woman, you may have wondered why a man is not loving you the way you want him to. You may get frustrated asking him and this may even lead to a breakup. Reality is: Do you know how to love yourself so that he can seee it within you?  "Love is not something you ask for, love is something you give and it is freely given to you. You can never love anyone from a place of pain/trauma includin...

Have you experienced a childhood pain/trauma that has resulted in you shutting down a part of yourself? Emotional numbness happens when we experience pain/trauma. We shut down and do not want to deal with those parts of our story/journey. However, shutting down unconsciously results in us holding on to the pain than letting go of it. We birth fear, ego and illusions into our world and begin to emb...

Have you ever expected someone to do something for you but it turned out that they left you disappointed? Expectations are a source of life lessons and blessings especially when we do not know ourselves. They serve as an awakening to conscious living and healing.  Without learning from the lessons expecations bring, we become resentful, bitter and self-sabotage. Embrace the lessons and turn t...

We often stay silent at the end of a relationship and craw into our shells. We may not have understood what transpired during the relationship and we may have stayed silent during the relationship without sharing our feelings with a partner. You may have stayed silent to avoid #conflict or #deal with issues that reminded you of your painful childhood experiences and trauma. Silence can result in s...

Oftentimes, we seek for acceptance and validation from others. This is usually based on the childhood pain/trauma we have experienced.  We may have been told we would never be good enough or never amount to anything. We may have been rejected, abused, molested, abandoned or made to feel unloved. These things drive us to create a narrative that does not define who we are.  We accept spoke...

We have been so caught up with life that life has been living us without us living life.  We became so conditioned with waking up, taking a washer and going on until we return home to eat, converse a little and hit the sack! Covid19 happened and some of us begin to fret about what will happen next. We have not been taught how to live life and now we are given the opportunity to reconnect with...

We often use the word "love" loosely without fully understanding what it is. We have been conditioned through social media (including movies) and fairly tales with what look should be...which is far fetched.  We end up creating fantasies and illusions of the persona we want to be with. We make it about the "happily ever after" without fully understanding the deeper aspects of love. We easily...

Have you been in a relationship that felt too good to be true or you thought you had finally found "The One" but all of a sudden, your partner ghosted? You call, email and text him/her but you get no response. You leave voice messages from a place of anger/hurt. You go on a rant with your friends and they cheer you on with the negative energy that supports the way you are feeling about the relatio...

Placing a limit on what you can accomplish or how far you can go in life, creates obstacles not blessings. Limitations are birthed out of fear, experiences, limited beliefs and upbringing.  Fear shows up in so many forms: fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, fear of abandonment, etc. Experiences can be painful, traumatic and can be a source of negative narratives. Limited beliefs...

Oftentimes, we believe that love is not enough for a relationship to work. However, reality is that we have not yet discovered who we are and are not yet whole. The inner childhood issues/trauma/wounds not addressed ooze out to the surface and result in conflicts that make it seem like love will never be enough.  Taking the time to address these inner child issues and working on become whole...