Love Over Addiction

We're all still in some sort of lockdown due to the coronavirus.  When we love someone suffering from addiction, we have our coping strategies. We all have things we do to help us through those particularly rough situations.  We teach those tools and tips in the programs, but here's the thing: you may not be able to use your normal coping strategies right now.  Right? We can't necessarily pick up...

In this community, we love someone suffering from addiction. And most of us are fixers by nature. We're helpers. We feel deeply for others, and all we want to do is help in a loving way.  In most cases that help or desire to fix is outwardly focused, meaning that we're focusing our attention and love on someone else.  So today we talk about taking that inward. And focusing that energy and attentio...

Have you ever wondered why you landed in this relationship with someone suffering from addiction in the first place?   I know that I did. And we've heard the same question from countless women in our community.  It's a great question, because if we're being honest, none of us ever dreamed of being in such a relationship. Right?  Today we talk about why you're here in the first place. It's good stu...

When we love someone suffering from addiction, the relationship will most likely become more unhealthy over time. Meaning that our 'normal' morphs and changes and we take on roles and behaviors that relationships without addiction don't struggle with.  This is one way that we give away our power. So today we talk all about staying in your relationship and keeping your power. Because let's be hones...

When we love someone suffering from addiction, we try hard all the time. Our day-to-day life is harder than most, and we know that it requires more energy to manage our relationships.  And let's be honest: it's hard. Sometimes we try so darn hard, and it feels like we make it half a step forward at best. Can you relate to that feeling? I know it can feel very defeating.  So today we talk about why...

When you love someone suffering from addiction, you may question why you stay. And let's be honest, with everything going on right now, all the shelter-in-place and stay-at-home orders, we've got a lot on our minds. It's a lot to process and work through. My heart goes out to you, sister. I was once where you are today, and you've got a whole other layer to navigate being at home with these uncert...

**Listen to this episode for a special update from me during this time** A lot of times in the recovery world we, the loved ones, are labeled as codependent people. They basically use that label to explain why we might have gotten into this relationship in the first place.  Labels set aside, we all got into our relationships for different reasons. And of course, we're each choosing to stay or leav...

We're empathetic loving women that take care of everyone else. Right? Can you relate? Raise your hand if you always care for someone else before putting your own needs first.  I was once that way. And I still have to remind myself to take care of myself instead of focusing on everyone else.  So today I'm here with a tip about how to love yourself when you love an alcoholic or addict.  Find more he...

When we love someone suffering from addiction we can become so bogged down with their choices and addiction.  It's nice to hear tips, new ideas, and things to try that can actually make a difference in your day-to-day life. And here's the other great thing: It lets you focus on yourself and what you're doing and less and less on them and what they're doing.  We hope you enjoy these 12 quick tips t...

When we love someone suffering from addiction, we can take on the role of fixer, solver, and just plain 'figure-everything-out-and-make-everything-better-er'. Am I right?  We take on their addiction and with that, we take on lies and mistruths that lead our beliefs. The truth of it is that taking those on is harmful. It's not beneficial to our healing.  When we can remove the goggles of their addi...

When we love someone suffering from addiction, we think that if they can just get sober, all the problems would melt away. We'd somehow have a "normal" life after that, right?  I know when I was married to a good man that suffered from addiction, that's what I thought.  Today we have an interview from our community who shares her story and how they got here. Her husband hasn't had a drink in over...

When we love someone suffering from addiction it's so easy to feel completely isolated and alone. It can start to feel like we're living a lie because we tend to cover up their issues for them. We take on the role of fixing and solving. We hide, we may even lie. There's no judgment here. I get it. I did it for years.  So today we're here with some encouraging words. We're here to lift you up. We'r...

Today's episode is raw and real. We all have our own personal reasons for staying or leaving when we're in a relationship with a good person that is suffering from addiction.  In everyone's journey there comes a point that we get real about our reasons for staying (or leaving).  That point comes at all different times and for all different reasons, but it will happen.  When I got real about why I...

When we love someone suffering from addiction we so often feel alone and isolated. We can feel left in the dark, like no one really knows what's going on. And that's true. It feels that way because more often than not, that's what's actually going on.  That's one of the reasons why we love sharing these interviews with women from our community. It reminds us that we're not alone. There are lots of...

If we're getting real with each other, we've probably all had a conversation about pornography in our relationships.  Pornography is completely normalized, accepted, and expected as something that men (and women) do to cope, relieve stress, or otherwise find a release.  But here's the thing: how do we know when it's an addiction vs. just watching pornography for other reasons?  That's a great ques...

When you love someone suffering from addiction to alcohol, drugs, sex, pornography, gambling, or whatever else they may choose, we get angry. Their addiction starts to overtake their lives and relationships, right? Of course we get angry. So this week we're talking specifically about how to let it go.  Here's the thing: if we don't find ways to let that anger go, it can build and become toxic to u...

Does your child suffer from addiction? Have you found them drinking, using drugs, huffing, or taking pills? If their parent suffers from addiction, that means they have a genetic predisposition.  Today we hear from a brave women in our community who caught her son smoking pot, and started a ten year battle with addiction that's still going on to this day.  Her boundaries, staying in her lane, and...

When we love someone suffering from addiction, it can be hard to let go of the blame. This becomes especially true if you're a parent with a child who's suffering from addiction.  And it's not your fault. Nothing you did, didn't do, said, or didn't say has caused their addiction. Sometimes it can be really hard to actually believe that.  And let's be honest: your loved one may even tell you it's y...

Are you a mother or father with a child suffering from addiction? If so, do you take on the blame of their addiction? Do you think it's your fault? Do you think that you did (or didn't do) something right, and that's why they're suffering?  I'm here to tell you it's not your fault. And when you listen to today's episode, you'll hear why it's not your fault + another loving truth.  We have a free m...

Thriving . It's more than surviving. It's joy, excitement, opportunity, fun. And let's be honest, when we love someone suffering from addiction, it can be very challenging to get to that space within ourselves.  I know it took me a long time, but I did get there. And I know you can too.  Today we hear from our community. Which you know, I've said a thousand times, I love our community. These women...

Today we find gratitude. Which let's be honest: in our situations, that can be really hard to do sometimes.  We had to share this episode again today because we wanted you to hear these brave women from our community, and how they find gratitude, all the while loving someone suffering from addiction.  It is certainly a practice, and we want to lovingly encourage you to find one way to be grateful...

You're part of this community, and let's be honest, most people don't actually understand what you're going through.  Your baseline for chaos and lack of control are more than the average woman ever has to deal with.  We asked our community to share some of their holiday tips. It's so nice to hear from other women who actually get it. They are living it right now too, or have lived it in the past....

For years I played the role of the fixer and mender. I held it all together. I was the glue. Without me, my ex-husband and his addiction would fall apart.  I thought if I could just run around and excuse his behavior, clean up the messes, hide the evidence, fib to his boss, it would all be okay eventually.  Can you relate?  Well, I was wrong.  Once I learned what I should actually be doing, I drop...

Today we get to hear a real life story from a brave woman in our community. Her story is absolutely amazing, and we talk on big topics like letting go of codependent behaviors, supporting children through the chaos, and how to handle it when one child is extremely loyal to their father. Truly, she's found peace and happiness whether he's taking pills (and drinking) or not.   Find more: https://lov...

When we love someone suffering from addiction, our relationships aren't 'normal' by any stretch of the word.  We can take on strange roles that we never imagined before, like taking care of our partners like they're our children.  Can you relate? Do you find yourself reminding them of appointments? Picking up their laundry? Cleaning up their messes? Driving them places? Making all their food?  The...