Love Over Addiction

I was watching my husband play hockey recently, and it got me thinking about the offense and defense we play in our lives when we love someone suffering from addiction. (As you know, I can relate just about anything to addiction).  Are you in control of your life and moving forward with your goals (playing offense)? Or are you trying to prevent your greatest fears from happening (playing defense)?...

As a codependent, setting (and sticking to) boundaries can sometimes be challenging. And look, no judgment at all. Boundaries are tricky and take lots of practice.  But they're also so important to have when you love someone suffering from addiction. Because here's the thing: without boundaries, the morals and values you entered the relationship with become compromised over time. Tune in to this w...

Being in a relationship with someone suffering from addiction takes courage and can be downright hard sometimes. Am I right? There might be days filled with tears, anger, and frustration. Or maybe you make some mistakes (and that's completely normal). But here's the thing: courage is being willing to fall apart, brush yourself off, and then keep trying. It's realizing that your tears and failures...

Have you ever wanted to speak up and ask for what you needed but changed your mind? (I'm raising my hand right now!). Or, maybe what you need isn't a realistic ask from your loved one that suffers from addiction.  Here's the thing: staying silent about what you need and not asking for it can lead to resentment. And if your partner isn't able to give it to you, then maybe you can give it yourself. ...

I realized something surprising recently: despite thinking I had conquered my codependency, that's actually not the case. I still have some growth to do. Can you relate? In this week's episode, we're going to dive into some questions together about codependency. I'll also share some personal life experiences regarding this.   Even if you think you've moved past some of these behaviors, I invite yo...

Sex and intimacy are usually an important part of a relationship, right? But when your partner suffers from addiction, those things can sometimes be complicated. In this week's episode, I talk about sex (yep, we're going there) and the challenges you may be facing with your loved one and their addiction. We also discuss being true to yourself and the importance of setting boundaries with sex and i...

There have probably been times when your loved one drank too much at a family event. Or made a scene in front of others when they were under the influence of drugs or alcohol. As a result, you might have felt embarrassed by their actions and behaviors. Can you relate? Here's the thing: feeling embarrassed by other people's actions or behaviors (even your own) can be a sign of codependency. In this...

If you're codependent, you may find yourself concentrating on your loved one's addiction (sometimes more than they are). Or relying on them to validate your feelings and help you feel better. And look, no judgment at all.  But you may be surprised to learn how some of your own hurt, pain, and struggles are similar to what your partner experiences with their addiction. In this week's episode, I dis...

Loving someone with addiction can sometimes make you feel like you're on a roller coaster ride, can't it? One moment you're feeling joyful and hopeful, only to have it turn to fear and anger pretty quickly. And listen, no judgment at all. We've been there and completely understand. But the good news is that you can make it feel less and less like a roller coaster ride when dealing with your loved...

Maybe you don't have any proof (yet), but your intuition is kicking in and something feels "off" with your loved one suffering from addiction. Does this sound familiar? So how do you approach a tough conversation? In this week's episode, I'll talk about how to communicate with your partner in these situations and what to actually say to them. I also share a very personal story that I haven't yet t...

When you love someone suffering from addiction, it can be hard to let things go sometimes. Maybe you found empty bottles after they said they'd stop drinking. Or they came home late again (or not at all). You probably want to get to the bottom of what they did (and why). But how can you effectively express what you're feeling when they've been drinking or using? You want to feel heard and recogniz...

You've probably experienced your loved one's unpredictable behavior sometimes, right? Maybe you've gone back and forth on whether you should stay or leave your relationship because of their addiction. Regardless, being as prepared as possible - especially at a moment's notice - can be super helpful (particularly if you have dependents). In this week's episode, I discuss the importance of having a...

When your partner suffers from addiction, it can be hard to tell if they're lying or being manipulative. Here's the thing: addiction knows exactly what to say to you at that moment. This is especially true if they're making promises about wanting to get sober. You want to believe them, but you've heard those words over and over again. Does that sound familiar? In this week's episode, we discuss ho...

Dealing with in-laws and extended family can be tricky when your partner suffers from addiction. Can you relate? Maybe there have been times when they've blamed you for their child's addiction. Or you've wondered how much you should share with them regarding your loved one's addiction. But here's the thing: It's not your job to convince their family (or yours) of anything. In this week's episode,...

When you have a loved one that suffers from addiction, it can be easy to feel empty sometimes. You may try to fill that void by looking for approval from others (including your partner) rather than yourself. Can you relate? So, how can you stop turning towards the outside to quit feeling empty? In this week's episode, we discuss ways to rely on yourself to feel full rather than waiting for people...

This special episode is a follow-up to yesterday's episode. If you found your heart a little prickled by the loving truths Michelle gave, take a listen to this bonus release as she shares a personal story about her ex-husband, her children, and her own 'prickled heart' moment.

If your loved one suffers from addiction, you've probably spent a lot of energy trying to help them get better. And if you have kids, figuring out how to help them handle their parent's addiction can be tough. Does this sound familiar? If so, no judgment at all. I was in the same situation when I was married to a good man struggling with addiction. But it's time to take an inventory of where your...

More than likely, you've had your feelings hurt from time to time. Regardless if it was because of your loved one that suffers from addiction, or a friend or family member, it hurts. But remember, you get to choose who to be vulnerable with, and who will treat you with love and care. In today's episode, you'll hear a very relevant story involving my dad, ways to cope with hurt feelings, and how to...

We know weekends, especially holiday weekends, may be a more difficult time for you and your loved one who suffers from addiction. They might be inclined to drink more than usual or lose control. But remember, you're not powerless over this disease. You get to choose how you react to their actions and behaviors. By making a few preparations ahead of time, you'll be able to enjoy your weekend the w...

In today's episode, I'm sharing a story (with permission) - and a lesson - from a big conversation I had recently with my daughter about verbal abuse. When you're in a relationship with someone who suffers from addiction, it's possible you may have experienced some form of verbal abuse in your relationship.  There's no need to feel embarrassed. I've been there, too.  You can move through this, hon...

When we love someone suffering from addiction, we may feel crazy when we try to talk to them about an issue or something going on.  You may find yourself questioning whether or not this is normal. You may have forgotten what a healthy discussion looks like. When we love someone suffering from addiction, our 'normal' is much different than everyone else's.  On today's episode you'll hear a couple o...

Today is all about the power of positive thinking. And you know that in this community we talk about feelings and we give you actionable steps to take so you actually feel better.  On today's episode you'll hear about two powerful tools you can start using now to influence your thinking in a positive way.  They're simple. Yes they take practice, and yes, they will make a difference.  Learn more he...

When you love someone suffering from addiction, we tend to take on certain roles in the relationship. We want to help our partners get sober, and sometimes we find ourselves grasping at straws in order to make it work.  There's never any judgment here. We understand what you're going through and know that you only want to help.  We're here today to offer you tips and tools to navigate your relatio...

For those in the US, today is Memorial Day. We honor those that have served this country for our freedom. Thank you. To their wives and children, thank you.  When we love someone suffering from addiction, holidays (like today) can be an excuse to drink or use more than usual.  So our podcast episode is all about you. It's all about finding the answer you may have been looking for, and maybe where...

Feeling better is a process, right? If there was some magical, fantastical button that would just make everyone feel better with no work, we'd all be there.  But that's not the case. We have to put work into how we feel. And like anything that has a true reward in life, it takes effort. There's a process.  Honoring (and knowing) that process can be helpful as we're working through our own healing....