Love Over Addiction

Here's the deal: today I get to share a conversation with you - one I had with a Love Over Addiction Sister in our community.  She's sharing her personal story about loving a good man that suffers from addiction. We cover big topics like why (and how) she ended up here in the first place.  We talk about how her lack of self-confidence impacted her whole relationship, and where she is today with he...

Growing up, weren't we all taught that when we feel guilty about something, that's our conscience telling us we've done something 'wrong'?  I know I was. So when I was married to a good man suffering from addiction, dealing with feelings of guilt was hard, because I assumed I was in the wrong.  Here's the thing though: addiction doesn't play by the rules. All those 'helpful' tips and tools out the...

Her son (and her husband) both suffer from addiction. She has twin sons, one suffers and one doesn't. And she thinks she knows why… Usually we don't get into the details of why someone may suffer, but when you're a mother with a child suffering it can be helpful. We talk about why and much more.  Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com /podcast Join your community: https://loveoveraddiction....

Some people try to avoid their anger. And in my experience, women especially.  As women, we seem to be the ones that always hold it together. So getting angry makes us look bad, like we're falling apart.  But we're not.  Here's the truth: Anger is a very real and true emotion. And when we love someone suffering from addiction, anger is completely normal.  In fact, if you think you're not angry, I...

I love hearing stories. It's so powerful, and these real life examples can open our eyes and hearts to our very own potential.  Today, listen to our conversation with one of our brave Love Over Addiction sisters who shares about her relationship with a good man that drinks too much.  She gets brutally honest with us about the baggage she brought from past relationships, how her husband has set bou...

Addiction lies. It has to in order to thrive. And we, as the partners, loved ones, and spouses, we get the brunt of these lies.  Do you feel like you're reading into everything, questioning each detail, asking clarifying questions, or wanting them to verify their story? Do you check their phone for 'proof' they're telling the truth (or not)?  I did. There's no shame or judgment here. My ex-husband...

When we love someone suffering from addiction, we deeply desire for them to get sober. We dream of the day they decide to be done with alcohol, drugs, pornography, or whatever else, for good.  Well today, we hear from a woman in our community who's been married for over 35 years. And her husband has been in and out of recovery for years.  She's learned to trust her intuition, come out of denial, a...

When we love someone suffering from addiction, it can be hard to see the light of day. Our once very accurate judgment and perception is now being manipulated into something else.  I remember feeling so lost, thinking, "What is actually going on?" I felt crazy. Have you ever felt like that?   As I started my own recovery and healing, I discovered that there are little tools and tricks that I could...

Here's the deal: you reserve the right to change your mind at any time, for any reason.  Why is that important? Because if you're anything like me, you put a lot of pressure on yourself to make the "right" choice.  And sometimes you may even get stuck or frozen in indecision , because you're too afraid of getting it 'wrong'. There's no judgment here. I've struggled with this all my life.  Whether...

When I was healing from loving a man suffering from addiction there was one thing that was part of all of my days: self-care. And I know, I get it , self-care is all the rage right now.  But self-care should meet your needs, and not necessarily be 'trendy'. My self-care right now is a bowl of ice cream and an episode on Netflix. My self-care has been physical movement, walking with my dog and kids...

Have you ever questioned whether to stay in your relationship or leave? It's a big question. And that's frankly an understatement. It's a life-changing, wildly impactful decision of a lifetime.  And listen, we never do judgment in this community. So whether you decide to stay or leave, that's up to you.  Today's episode though, it's about a whisper. A whisper within us that we may hear, or we may...

Everything in our life is a season. Some seasons are longer than others, and some may be harder than others.  No matter what 'season' we may be in, we learn tips and tools to help us along the way.  When I was married to a good man that suffered from addiction, that was one of the hardest seasons of my life. I learned all kinds of tips and tools to handle the disease, and some of these, I still us...

Here's the loving truth: when you have children living in this situation, with their parent (or step-parent) suffering from addiction, you've got work to do.  You must be the strong and sober parent. You've got to protect them, teach them how to be safe, and educate them. You must talk to them about addiction, no matter how awkward it may feel. And I totally understand having fears around it, I di...

I believe in dream boards (or vision boards). And if you don't know what I'm talking about, just google it.  They sound incredibly hokey. They sound woo-woo, they sound a little like, "What?" But I stand by them. In my life, I've always had at least one vision board. And I've got crazy stories about these vision boards throughout my life, which I share in the Love Over Addiction program.  So today...

Stick with me here, because I know self-care is a buzzword right now. I'm not about buzzwords, but I am all about you learning the tools you need to handle this disease.  When we love someone suffering from addiction, our lives become chaotic and out of control. That's just the way addiction works.   So on today's episode, we'll dive deep into your self-care, and how to maintain it during a crisis...

When we love someone suffering from addiction, we will eventually become completely isolated if we're not already. That's what addiction wants, and frankly, what it needs to thrive.  As you know, we believe that we're not powerless over this disease. There are things you can do to take your power back from addiction, and today is all about finding connection.  Today I share tips on what kind of fr...

Sometimes when we love someone suffering from addiction we can get into the mindset that it's all on us. Everything falls on our shoulders, and we're responsible for it all.  And let's be honest: many, many times, that is the case. We're not in a 'normal' relationship. Our partners are suffering from addiction, which means that our lives are different.  And here's the deal: it can be really daunti...

When we love someone suffering from addiction, we do our very best to help them. We try everything we can think of, read, or find on Google. We try it all. With the most pure and best intentions. We want our loved ones to get sober, and stay sober for good, right? The reality is that all that energy we're putting into our loved ones, we need to be putting into ourselves. Because addiction has hurt...

In today's culture it seems like we're expected to be a certain way. Especially as women. We're expected to balance life, work, children, self-care, all of it. Every day. With balance, grace, and ease. Well, I'm here to tell you that it's BS. It's not easy, especially when we love someone suffering from addiction. So today's episode is a little different taste. It's real, raw, and unscripted. It's...

When we love someone suffering from addiction, we can start to become isolated. We may feel so wrapped up in our loved one's issues, that we start to lose our joy, our friendships, and the things that really matter to us. When I was married to a good man that suffered from addiction I was lonely. So. Lonely. I remember longing for real friendship, and even being jealous of 'friends' I saw on socia...

We've been doing a series all about types of aggression and tactics used. Because here's the truth: When we love someone suffering from addiction "normal" advice doesn't cut it for us. We need something more specific, because loving someone suffering from addiction is NOT a normal relationship. We've talked about how to handle your anger before, but what about theirs? Do you know how to respond wh...

We're a community full of women that love someone suffering from addiction. And here's the reality: our lives and relationships are different because of that. Have you ever had an evening like this? Let's play this out: your partner comes home 4 hours later than expected. When you ask them where they were, they say something like, "I had to stay late at work tonight." And here's the reality: they...

We must remember that although we love good people, they do suffer from a disease. And the disease of addiction is not nice. It's mean. It's ugly. And it does whatever it takes to thrive. Here's the loving truth: if they don't seek recovery, it gets worse over time. So, as the ones that love these people suffering, we have work to do. We need to prepare ourselves to deal with their behaviors, both...

When we love someone suffering from addiction, the truth is that only we know how bad things really are. And when we start to seek a team of professionals, be it therapists, mediators, lawyers, or whomever, we must find the right fit. Because we love someone suffering from addiction, we have developed a strong intuition, and I encourage you to use that when you're finding your professional team. I...

Last week we talked about covert aggression when you love someone suffering from addiction. So if you missed that episode, please go back and have a listen. This week we're building on that - so what are tactics our loved ones might use when they're being covertly aggressive? Let me ask you this: Does your partner ever play dumb? Forget things that have happened? Dispute fine details? Act obliviou...