Love Factually

Is romance seasonal? What does romantic competition look like? How does thinking too much undermine performance? Paul, Eli, and special guest Dan Pink revisit their Gen-X youth with a rewatch of Bull Durham (1988), the minor league baseball classic starring Kevin Costner, Susan Sarandon, and Tim Robbins. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Finkel...

Why do people choose to "date" AI chatbots? Will chatbots undermine or enhance the social skills required for connecting with other humans? How do the underlying corporate interests influence the likelihood that they will help or harm us? Seeking insights, Paul and Eli invite two experts at the human/AI interface— Paul Bloom and Benjamin Karney —for a wide-ranging, fast-paced, and enlightening dis...

How does singlehood differ for men and women? When are romantic beliefs healthy rather than unhealthy? Is it typical for young children to play matchmaker for their parents? Paul, Eli, and special guest Dr. Yuthika Girme are in on the joke that is Sleepless in Seattle, the film that—for better or worse—has become Nora Ephron's enduring meta-statement on romantic movies. For show notes, click  here...

Why do our first sexual experiences tend to be complicated? When is relationship initiation a slow and careful process? Do love and desire change as we age? Paul and Eli herald the arrival of summer with Luca Guadagnino's Call Me By Your Name, one of the most powerful coming-of-age films of the twenty-first century. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and ...

When are people inspired to make life-altering sacrifices? How can romantic partners bring out the best in each other? Why is choosing between two partners overwhelming? To answer these questions, Paul and Eli invite Happiness Lab host Dr. Laurie Santos with them to visit Casablanca, the 1942 classic honored by the American Film Institute as the single greatest love story in American cinema. For s...

How do fights get out of hand? What does intractable conflict look like? Why are truth and harmony sometimes at odds? Alarmed and distressed, Paul and Eli spend one last day with Jesse and Céline in Before Midnight, the third and final installment of Richard Linklater's unflinching and unparalleled "Before Trilogy." For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and ...

Paul and Eli dip into the mailbag once more to answer your questions! Is it possible to build an effective matchmaking algorithm? Why might 12th grade girls have soured on marriage since the 90s? Did Richard Reeves channel Paul correctly on Modern Wisdom, or not? 

How do relationships adapt when one partner changes? Are women penalized for being demanding leaders? When are we at risk for losing our moral compass? Paige Harden joins Paul and Eli as they upgrade their wardrobes in honor of The Devil Wears Prada, the 2006 showcase for a magnificently icy Meryl Streep. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Finkel...

What is the most common type of nonmonogamous relationship? Do women face a choice between passionate men and dull men? Does "The Coolidge Effect" apply to humans? In this special crossover episode of the Multiamory podcast, Paul and Eli team up with Emily Matlack, Dedeker Winston, and Jase Lindgren to chat about Vicky Cristina Barcelona, the 2008 polyamory-adjacent (?) film starring the Oscar-win...

What do people do when they get cold feet? How do people handle the emotional carnage of breakup? Who's more eager to get married: men or women? Paul and Eli invite social psychologist Vanessa Bohns to bask in the 1985 aesthetic of The Wedding Singer and achieve new insights into the psychology of breaking off a wedding. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick...

Is trusting others dangerous? How do we decide who warrants our moral concern? When do we feel drawn to others who need our help? Paul and Eli sign nondisclosure agreements before immersing themselves in Ex Machina, Alex Garland's cerebral and electrifying AI dystopia from 2015. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Finkel . Music by  Andrew Fraker...

Why do people with opposite personalities often get along? How do vacations affect us? Is it problematic to sacrifice for our partner? Paul and Eli debate the ethics of road-trip burritos and fictitious honeymoons while reviewing People We Meet on Vacation, the Netflix adaptation of Emily Henry's bestselling novel. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and ...

When do we want to see people punished? How do people feel about their own wrongdoing? What does stalking actually look like? In pursuit of answers, Paul and Eli invite clinical psychologist and behavioral geneticist Paige Harden to revisit Fatal Attraction with them, garnering disturbing insights at the intersection of love and violence. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited...

Should we wear rose-colored glasses? What happens when we feel like we're being pressured to marry someone? Why are words sometimes not enough? Paul and Eli—joined by Shakespearian scholar Donovan Sherman —take a psychedelic and operatic mystery tour through Romeo + Juliet, Baz Luhrmann's utterly gonzo adaptation of the timeless classic. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited b...

Why is it important to understand a loved-one's identity? Which sorts of people are likely to hold grudges? Is having a "jacked-up" attitude worse if you're a woman? Paul and Eli contemplate Love & Basketball, Gina Prince-Bythewood's exploration of ambition, attachment, and gender at a time when the world sadly lacked the WNBA. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Ea...

Eli and Paul dial up the controversy as they discuss Paul's upcoming book,  Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection .  They pick apart two central concepts in evolutionary psychology: gender differences and mate value. Paul and Eli discuss how men and women don't actually differ in what they want in a partner, where gender differences in the sex drive appear larger vs. smaller,...

Why is it so important to feel needed? Do men struggle when their partner outshines them? How can personal growth destabilize a relationship? Paul and Eli dive off the deep end into the rich and melodramatic spectacle of the 2018 iteration of "A Star Is Born," featuring Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Finkel . Mus...

What happens when a narcissist decides she wants something? Why is it complicated when your best friend is also your ex? Why is it so important to keep alternatives at bay? Paul and Eli revisit Julia Roberts' unforgettable and unrivaled transformation into rom-com anti-hero in "My Best Friend's Wedding." For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Finkel...

Can a change of scenery help people find a partner? What is the nature of unrequited love? How do people react to sexual overtures from strangers? Paul and Eli savor impeccable kitchens and exquisite real estate in The Holiday, Nancy Meyers's 2006 starring vehicle for Kate Winslet, Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, and Jack Black. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick...

In this special episode, Eli interviews Paul about his upcoming book, Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection . Part 1 of this series is devoted to complexities of romantic compatibility. They discuss how they began studying attraction in the first place, why online dating failed to live up to its potential, and why a relationship is what you make it. Plus: Why is it wise to ha...

Does giving to others makes us happy? Why is expressing vulnerability so powerful? How can we feel grateful for what we already have? In collaboration with the Pods Fight Poverty campaign, Paul and Eli fire up Frank Capra's immortal and inspiring It's a Wonderful Life (1946), the generosity-filled holiday classic. With Giving Tuesday right around the corner, we hope you'll consider donating to #Po...

How do friend networks facilitate relationship formation? What happens to those networks when people fall in love? Are wedding guests just looking to hook up? Paul and Eli find answers lurking at both wedding altar and graveyard in the very British rom-com, Four Weddings and Funeral. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Finkel . Music by  Andrew Fr...

Do opposites attract? When is intimacy scary? Can offering forgiveness inadvertently escalate conflict? In this special crossover episode of the  Dear Nina: Conversations about Friends podcast, Paul and Eli chat with Nina Badzin and Rebekah Jacobs about Beaches, the Bette Midler musical showcase about lifelong friendships. 

What happens when our self-esteem is tied to our looks? How can significant others make us feel confident? What is the nature of found families? Paul and Eli travel to the gorgeously trippy world of Howl's Moving Castle (2004), Hayao Miyazaki's anti-war fable about the power of love and hair dye. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Finkel . Music...

Are some people just late bloomers? Is asking questions a good dating strategy? What does it mean to be a good lover, anyway? Paul and Eli unpack The 40 Year-Old Virgin—the 2005 transgressive comedy from Judd Apatow—and reflect on how times (and they themselves) have changed in the intervening 20 years. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Finkel ....