Love Factually

Eli and Paul dial up the controversy as they discuss Paul's upcoming book,  Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection .  They pick apart two central concepts in evolutionary psychology: gender differences and mate value. Paul and Eli discuss how men and women don't actually differ in what they want in a partner, where gender differences in the sex drive appear larger vs. smaller,...

Why is it so important to feel needed? Do men struggle when their partner outshines them? How can personal growth destabilize a relationship? Paul and Eli dive off the deep end into the rich and melodramatic spectacle of the 2018 iteration of "A Star Is Born," featuring Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Finkel . Mus...

What happens when a narcissist decides she wants something? Why is it complicated when your best friend is also your ex? Why is it so important to keep alternatives at bay? Paul and Eli revisit Julia Roberts' unforgettable and unrivaled transformation into rom-com anti-hero in "My Best Friend's Wedding." For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Finkel...

Can a change of scenery help people find a partner? What is the nature of unrequited love? How do people react to sexual overtures from strangers? Paul and Eli savor impeccable kitchens and exquisite real estate in The Holiday, Nancy Meyers's 2006 starring vehicle for Kate Winslet, Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, and Jack Black. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick...

In this special episode, Eli interviews Paul about his upcoming book, Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection . Part 1 of this series is devoted to complexities of romantic compatibility. They discuss how they began studying attraction in the first place, why online dating failed to live up to its potential, and why a relationship is what you make it. Plus: Why is it wise to ha...

Does giving to others makes us happy? Why is expressing vulnerability so powerful? How can we feel grateful for what we already have? In collaboration with the Pods Fight Poverty campaign, Paul and Eli fire up Frank Capra's immortal and inspiring It's a Wonderful Life (1946), the generosity-filled holiday classic. With Giving Tuesday right around the corner, we hope you'll consider donating to #Po...

How do friend networks facilitate relationship formation? What happens to those networks when people fall in love? Are wedding guests just looking to hook up? Paul and Eli find answers lurking at both wedding altar and graveyard in the very British rom-com, Four Weddings and Funeral. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Finkel . Music by  Andrew Fr...

Do opposites attract? When is intimacy scary? Can offering forgiveness inadvertently escalate conflict? In this special crossover episode of the  Dear Nina: Conversations about Friends podcast, Paul and Eli chat with Nina Badzin and Rebekah Jacobs about Beaches, the Bette Midler musical showcase about lifelong friendships. 

What happens when our self-esteem is tied to our looks? How can significant others make us feel confident? What is the nature of found families? Paul and Eli travel to the gorgeously trippy world of Howl's Moving Castle (2004), Hayao Miyazaki's anti-war fable about the power of love and hair dye. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Finkel . Music...

Are some people just late bloomers? Is asking questions a good dating strategy? What does it mean to be a good lover, anyway? Paul and Eli unpack The 40 Year-Old Virgin—the 2005 transgressive comedy from Judd Apatow—and reflect on how times (and they themselves) have changed in the intervening 20 years. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Finkel ....

In this special crossover episode of the APA Speaking of Psychology podcast, Paul and Eli chat with Kim Mills about the helpful and harmful lessons we absorb from romantic films.

How does it feel to lose a loved-one? Do we benefit from having a partner who speaks our love language? What's so sexy about creativity? Paul and Eli take a nostalgia trip back to Ghost (1990), the romance/murder mystery/revenge epic/moral fable/all-around sensation starring Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, and Whoopi Goldberg. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwic...

How is romantic attachment similar to parent-child attachment? Can the fear of intimacy make someone controlling? What's the connection between relationships and food? Paul and Eli revisit Paul Thomas Anderson's majestic Phantom Thread (2017), the Best Picture nominee that served up one of cinema's most deliciously warped loved stories. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by...

Year one of Love Factually is in the books! Paul and Eli first review their favorite moments from the first year of the show, and then (at 42:20) they count down the Top Five most accurate movies they've covered to date.

What assumptions lurk behind the man-approaches-woman default? Why is double-dating a good idea? Does the military take grief seriously? Paul and Eli invite the former naval aviator Matt Rhodes to discuss Top Gun, the 1986 blockbuster featuring Tom Cruise, Kelly McGillis, and a sex scene unlike anything you've ever witnessed in a PG movie. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited...

Is society prejudiced against single people? How does culture control our sexual behavior? Do we need to find a partner who shares a hyper-specific similarity? Paul and Eli invite Yuthika Girme —one of the world's foremost experts in the science of both romantic relationships and singlehood—to discuss The Lobster (2015), Yorgos Lanthimos's deadpan, absurdist, and deeply unsettling romantic satire....

Are secret relationships especially alluring? How can we cultivate intimacy in a new relationship? What is the nature of heroism for men and women? Paul and Eli dive into Titanic – the 1997 epic that launched Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio to stardom – to learn whether hearts go on and on. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Finkel . Music by ...

Do men chase women because they fear death? Do partners in love drive each other crazy? How do people navigate breakups? Paul and Eli gradually unravel as they discuss the mayhem in Moonstruck, featuring an Oscar-winning performance by Cher and an unhinged performance by Nicolas Cage. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Finkel . Music by  Andrew F...

How does marriage vary across economic systems? Do partners exchange beauty for status? Why do perceptions of a potential partner change over time? Paul and Eli pay homage to the one-and-only Jane Austen by revisiting the 2005 film adaptation of Pride & Prejudice, starring Keira Knightley and Matthew Macfadyen. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli...

Are mismatched couples doomed? Why is it essential to calibrate our expectations? What happens when we seek closure on past relationships? Paul and Eli revisit High Fidelity—the seminal text that proclaimed "What really matters is what you like" —and find themselves on a semi-traumatic trip down memory lane. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Fin...

What happens when we treat dating like a business proposition? How important is height in determining a man's desirability? If love isn't "the math," then what is it? Paul and Eli race from Celine Song's Materialists to the recording booth, hoping to make sense of the modern dating landscape. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Finkel . Music by ...

Is romantic love like an addiction? What is the nature of anti-gay prejudice? How do people come to understand their own sexual identity? Paul and Eli revisit "Brokeback Mountain" in preparation for its 20-year theatrical re-release , while marveling at some truly legendary performances. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Finkel . Music by  Andre...

The first Love Factually Deep Dive! Grand romantic gestures pervade romance films. Are they effective? Are they sometimes unethical? Cornell professor Vanessa Bohns ( You Have More Influence Than You Think ) and bestselling author Dan Pink ( The Power of Regret ) join Paul and Eli for a freewheeling discussion that reaches some unexpected conclusions.

What are the risks of being a people pleaser? Why do weddings fall apart? Why is it so important to be authentic in relationships? Paul and Eli try on "27 Dresses" (and decode some Elton John lyrics) in pursuit of some insights. For show notes, click here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Finkel . Music by  Andrew Fraker and Sons Artwork by  Katie Keil

What's special about sibling relationships? How do people with different attachment styles cope with stress? Why is it risky to get engaged to somebody you met that day? The megahit Frozen—starring the inimitable Kristen Bell and Idina Menzel—flips the traditional Disney script and offers some answers. This is a clean episode - suitable for all ages! For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced,...