Lotsa Pasta

Lots of twists and turns await us on today’s episode. It’s the penultimate episode of the Sin Eater Saga and it ends on a hefty cliffhanger. Should I have seen something like this coming? No, not entirely. It’s only a little bit alluded to and the pay off isn’t quite there yet. Django and I had a wonderful time with this episode, Gluttony and Wrath being two of our remaining sins. What little does...

Where do you go when you die? Well, you see, the answer to that specific question has nothing to do with this episode but if you stick around until the very ending seconds, you might find the answer. Anywho, I’m back with the royal Sofa King and we’re here to read about a girl. A SPACE GIRL, except, she’s not from space and we’re just as confused as you are. ENJOY. Space Girl(30:24) by HeadOfSpect...

We’re onto our next meals, I mean, next inmates. We’re stuck at this maximum security prison on some unmarked island in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle - how about that for a set up - but we’re okay being here, right? We’re getting fed. We’re having nice conversations. We’re doing the thing. There’s not shady, ulterior motive at work here at all. Hahah Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub, yay Go...

What’s that in the sky? Is it a floating disc? A flying angular trapezoid? No, it’s the void!  God help us all.
 And right next to it IS DR. ENKENSTEIN. And he’s brought bourbon! Let’s get twisted and read some stories, eh? It’s another alien episode and with every alien episode comes another series of bitching about Ridley Scott and his bastardization of the Alien series by his own hand! Yay for...

You hungry? Because dinner is served. Not just for you, but for you, me, and Django Phillips on today’s episode of Lotsa Pasta. We’re cooking up some spooky spaghetti of epic proportions tonight and I hope y’all are ready for a series of deceitfully decadent dishes. This is the part one of series that is sure to satiate with sinful delight. Join us now for the appetizer on this journey, because th...

It’s tough to already be at the finish line. But here we are. Oh and with your best friend in tow. I say in tow, because he’s been dragging you down the entire time. Trying to desperately kill you. Like a psychopath. 
What a good friend!  And so - like I said - we’re at our journey’s end. If you’re sad, don’t be. I’m sure we’ll see David King again, without giving too much away - of course.  I Dar...

You’re walking down the aisle. You see your beautiful bride before you down at the end waiting for you. But. Something is wrong. She looks… off. You haven’t seen her since last night but she looks… different. It’s not your to-be-wife! It’s MIDNIGHT BRIDE. Here to join Captain Death on our adventure of spooky spoops and spooky spooks on our ship to the NETHERWORLD. Give here a big warm welcome, fol...

If I dared Frowns McBooHoo to ruin my life, he’d probably just become straight and steal my girlfriend while simultaneously farting in my face. Don’t give him any ideas folks, he doesn’t look at these descriptions. We join our hero XANDER on his quest to save his girlfriend and David Fucking King has laid down a series of not-fart related traps that keep us guessing every step of the way. Next ste...

A three-fer you’ll never forget: it’s Captain Death, Deputy Dewey, and WhereAmI? We’re reading stories about some terrible sights, but mostly terrible sounds and I’m not talking about the cacophony of our butthole noises. Get ready for some Creepypasta VERSUS Reddit NoSleep trio on trio - we got some body horror, some accidental deaths, some purposeful ones, some creepy neighbors and creepy daddie...

What do you get when you mix Frowns McBooHoo, Dick Dastardly, and the Joker? David Fucking King, lemme tell ya. Frowns really runs with this one, so I hope y’all are ready to catch up. We’re here to read a story about two friends who make the worst fucking agreement I’ve ever heard, but kids do stupid shit all the time, so I can’t say I’m surprised. Ruin my life? Good fucking luck. 
I Dared my Bes...

What do you get when you mix a cracked out psychopath and a religious nut-bag? I would've said our former U.S. presidency under Trump and Biden, but no - you get Happy Boy - a story about a cracked out psychopath who meets a religious nut-bag and they get to killin' together. Is anything explained? No! We have an unreliable narrator who's too cracked out and talking to himself to understand what's...

Nothing like diggin' up some old bones when we're returning to the content slate, eh? That's why i dug up a particular ghost, a gasp from the past, Mr. SkellyBones to join us on today's closing episode for Alvin Schwartz's Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Fun Fact, Mr. SkellyBones was here to ring in the Scary Stories series we've been doing since Season 2, with the esteemed Bunch of Baby Ducks...

It’s crazy to think about how many possibilities were able to be found in this campaign and how group A overlaps with group B. Even minimally, they were heading toward similar points but have entirely different outcomes. It’s crazy. And it’s not doubt thanks for the differences in Monsters summoned in the finale, of course.  We have a couple people who are responsible for multiple appearances and...

And so we’re here. Group B. AKA WILD CARDS.  This group experience is closest to a “Theatre of the Mind,” with some physical props to help visualize things, type of Dungeons and Dragons game. I borrowed some elements from DnD and Betrayal(House at Haunted Hill) to come up with this. We’re only playing with D6’s(six sided die), and each person gets two. You’ll be hearing me say things like BRAVE or...

Less talk - more action! Night has fallen and the creatures summoned by Part One’s actions are coming to obtain their just desserts. And JUST they are.  Monsters, ghosts, demons, alternate dimension PIMPS? Who knows what awaits our classic crew for the climactic ending of CABIN IN THE WOODS.  Will everyone make it out alive? No. I can spoil that for you - not everyone does, unfortunately.  But how...

We’re finally here. Episode Two Hundred. The 4th year anniversary in full effect. I really hope this is listenable and interesting to everyone, because I spent a good long while trying to write this, plan this, and get this done. This group experience is closest to a “Theatre of the Mind,” with some physical props to help visualize things, type of Dungeons and Dragons game.  I borrowed some elemen...

There comes a time for every show to come to an end. Today we thank everyone who has been with us along the way. All the stories we’ve read, all the spooks we’ve had, and all the friends we’ve made. This episode, this one specifically, this one is for you. I hope you hotdog and relish this. I hope it leaves you feeling warm and satisfied. I hope you remember this for a long long time. This. Is the...

This is honestly a really fun episode. After leaving, Django texted me and said this is the most fun he’s had on an episode - and I can’t help but feel like it’s a mirror to what he and I were doing 4 years ago. We used to start this show with stupid convo that doesn’t matter and then get into smaller, interesting short stories. He’s been taking the heavy shit for most of the episodes since 100, I...

Terry’s not new but someone else here is trying to convince us that he’s changed. You’re not going to trick us, Jeff! You’re a stupid weeb cosplaying as Heath Ledger’s Joker with all the hashtag edge-lord shit still in full effect. The eclipse hasn’t come. The paradigm has not shifted. Your clothes are different but your SOUL is the same TAINT black. Eh, we’ll read a couple parts, I guess. As long...

Let’s get into the deepest of deep topics we can get into, Charlie. No, not anal. GOD. YES. FAITH. YES. RELIGION. NOoo. But, yes. If something has the ability to make someone go from ATHEISM to BELIEVER, don’t you think it’s like the POWER OF GOD? I mean, it’d have to be something crazy, right? Like God literally parting the clouds and saying, “Wassup? :P,” right? Hm. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe it’s...

Hello, Ms… Siren? May I call you Cannibal? Yes, please have a seat. Yes, I was very interested in your resume. You list both “consuming the flesh of unsuspecting men” and “the ability to hypnotize” very highly, and you do come recommended from a recently deceased colleague, rest his soul. You certainly have a very remarkable CV.  When can you start?  Maggie(Re-Read)(49:28) Mr. Stringy Comes Home(1...

This is unlike anything WhereAmI? Has ever witnessed. He’s not even ready for it. No, like, for real, as we continue the episode, he proves himself less and less able to handle this shit. What have I done? How high have I become? Oh yeah, this one’s fucked up. Here’s a trigger-warning for shit about to get fucked up. Don’t believe me? Well, wait for the part where WhereAmI? Literally walks out of...

I wish I could say my year has begun on the right foot, but it really hasn’t. Just because the number on the calendar changed doesn’t mean shit can’t still come out of nowhere to ruin your day. Here’s to a happy new year of more problems brought on by the people around me and making me indirectly involved with their terrible decision making! gin-gin.  Anyway, here’s a story I read by myself a coup...

What have I done. What have I stooped to. This is rhetorical because not only do I hate Christmas but I hate it enough to relinquish the reins of my show to Frowns McBooHoo for an episode to avoid the humbuggery of the evening. Let’s see if we can get through this in one piece. If so, I’ll see you on the other side in a much brighter, and less shitty, 2021. Holla.  The Perfectly Behaved Boy(16:00)...

Merry Christmas, Tenron. Too bad we’re stuck at work, right? This is a drag. I wish I could be at home takin’ a drag, you know what I mean? I’d Ru Paul the shit out of some kush rn, yanno. Roast my chestnuts on an open fire, yanno. Open some presents, to myself. But NO. We’re stuck here at this GOD DAMN gas station again, and who is that at our door? Let’s find out. Merry Christmas from the Gas St...