Lost in Txtlation

This started with my step sister’s wedding. It was beautiful. The love was real. I drove home a little teary. That heave in the chest kind of full. Not because it was not beautiful. It was. I was happy for them. I was also wondering if I will find a love like mine. I know my love will look different. I will not have two hundred people at a reception. It will be small. It will be different. Quiet....

Modern dating is fantastic if people knew how to use it properly. But alas, 98% of the population prefers to follow the road traveled to get to Point B from A. So finding someone who uses it in a unique way is often hard to find. And before you get upset that I am putting people into a bubble of generic, scroll through profiles, count the words: “sarcasm, travel, family, friends, and iPhone” Every...

If you are looking for the guy who is mysterious, I may not be your choice, not because I am not good at keeping the intrigue going, keeping you on your toes, or being a “man”, but because I choose communication over fighting down the road over notions of “who I am with you” and “who I am with myself”. I can dress nice, I can grow a beard, I can also shave and look like a total bum, and wear plaid...

What would I describe love as? Or perhaps better put what would I describe the feeling I yearn for from another in my life? I suppose my ears could tell you through the voice of a beautiful song. The way the tone resonates through my heart and body. The tremble the sound carries to my ear drums that shake my body and cause my hairs to stand on end. The sound filling your whole body, unable to make...

The evening started alone. Sitting at the table wanting to look busier than I was but being comfortable doing nothing all while being uncomfortable thinking I was perceived doing nothing by those around me. Holding my phone up to cast the cold, glow on my face, to let the world know I was not waiting alone, then being annoyed enough by the glow to put it down and just sit in silence, something I d...

One of the things I had to learn in life that has been instrumental in building me as a human being has been the ability to tell people when something bothers me at the time of it bothering me. We all have some baggage. We all have bad experiences. But we also don’t know these things when we are new to one another. Exploration is part of getting to know someone... ...please feel free to step on al...

Disclaimer: If you are someone who believes it is not healthy to talk about past relationships for what you learned and grew from, you might wanna start with my podcast: “ Embracing the Past, Verbalizing the Present ” first. Otherwise, carry on.   The last relationship I had that was truly connected mind body and sex, was during the pandemic. I have to say I really enjoyed the time we took to get...

My mother always told me to “wait, be patient, love would come to you”. If and when I hear this today, I can’t help but think this is the furthest idea from the truth. Either it is my innate need to rebel against my mother’s advice or it is my sense of self being defined enough to know that the “Love will find you” is not the love I want. I do not strive for the staple white picket fence, mortgage...

Ya know, I get the “I would be afraid I will end up on your podcast” a lot, especially since I share it openly on my dating profiles. So, while not really a question allow me to answer the statement the best I can. Honestly, someone who is in my life as a partner should kind of hope they actually do end up on my podcast. Not as a prop or bad experience but as some of these snippets of my life (rem...

I saw an image that depicted what society thinks to be love between a woman and a man. The heart is located in the mans crotch and the woman's heart is in the chest, but next to it, it has the “reality”: The mans heart in his chest and the woman's in her head. For me love has always started in my mouth. I talk about my life, my experiences, my stories, and my thoughts of the day to see how...

What do online dating and analog dating (in person) have in common? I mean we could break it down like my previous Podcast Online dating is simple, you are the one making it difficult  by the two simple truths of what we all look for in a potential date:1. Is the other person attractive to us? 2. Do we share similar likes/dislikes? So let’s break it down even further and consider Analog dating. I...

I find myself learning more and more about my securities and defenses. I often consider myself someone without walls, which is true to a point, but then I see an act, albeit a very sincere one, being played out in front of me at times. My own mouth the main actor. I could tell you I think sharing a lot right away is refreshing, a breath of fresh air, and the way I expect to see things; but there i...

WARNING YOU MAY BECOME EXTREMELY SELF AWARE OF THIS IF YOU READ, AND IT MAY DRIVE YOU NUTS FOR A LITTLE. KINDA LIKE IF I SAY, RED CAR, YOU WILL SEE RED CARS. These are micro expressions/motions/verbalizations we go through when with a partner that are easy for anyone to spot. Be it the first kiss or a major makeout session. https://www.lostintxtlation.com/swallows-kisses-looks-deep-into-eyes-hi/

Why should we not talk to those we meet along the way about our past, including past relationships as long as we are sensitive to how we present it. Such as what I learned yesterday... ...I learned something important about what I need in a future relationship by leaning into the inevitable feelings you will have after a breakup with another relationship. It doesn’t matter the day, the time, the p...

A long time ago, I wrote a journal entry called “ ⁠Love is Not Enough⁠ ”. It was focusing on the idea that when you find love, you tend to stop caring. You tend to stop showing. You tend to just say “I love you” and think that is all that is needed to keep a future going. But to me it was about the idea that when you finally say “I love you” that is the beginning of the relationship, the turning p...

Why is it that we find it necessary to carry on multiple relationships rather than taking our time with one. If you are interested in a person, then perhaps you should take the time from your life to enjoy that moment. Why multi task a pleasure filled activity such as human connection.... ....So if you mix a strawberry with a banana, you will taste the strawberry not he banana. If you mix a lemon...

The thing I am missing the most with this swipe to date world is the actual feeling of anticipation or joy after bolstering the courage to talk to someone in a real life encounter. The most amazing feeling is when you actually click with said person. You know you are physically attracted them, they smell good, their voice is nice to hear, so there is no worrying about fake profiles, old pictures,...

Disclaimer: apparently this is about as vulnerable as I can be with my writing because I met someone a long time ago, we slept together, and they said afterwards, "Wow that was just like what you wrote". Never have I felt so naked before in my life, while being naked haha. With the current trend of books like 50 Shades of Grey hitting the top selling lists, you would think we would all j...

But to me I think it is a deeper problem. An addiction to the feeling of “new romance” the addiction to the massive exposure to so many people and the excitement of puppy love, that what is happening is people are no longer aware of how to actually build a foundation for a relationship. How love comes in time. How you can grow your love based on experiences and interactions together... ...Hardest...

Don't compromise on yourself, on who you are, and on how you date. But when you do meet that person who is right for you, remember this... Compromise is a beautiful thing we done by the actual definition, but do it by the socially accepted viewpoint and it has a tendency to break you down. https://www.lostintxtlation.com/define-compromise/

When I was young, as many others did, I had created a list of “wants” for a significant other. While this seemed to work when I was 14, as I got older I realized this was a really poor way to approach dating. I guess I figured “must have beaten the third stage of the fourth boss in my favorite video game” was a bit too unrealistic. So what better place to explore the “no expectations” ideal than o...

I am tired of this paradigm of “I want to feel protected by my man”. Now don't be fooled by this sentence, it doesn't mean I do not believe you shouldn't protect someone and your partner should not feel protected! If the guy was raised with any morals or compass for good, of course he is going to fight for you and “protect you”. It is an instinct. It is the difference between standing...

As someone with anxiety I understand the importance of comfort in a new space or environment. So I try to make my space as welcoming with as many of life’s comforts as possible. You should see my bathroom: Fans for sound, smelly things to cover the scent of smelly things, shower stuff, candles, extra toilet paper(the soft kind!), you name it! Not only that the lighting is warm and inviting. The ch...

I have heard before that this blog has helped people. Actually without a doubt, 90% - 95% of people who have read the list of links in “ Love is Not Enough ” in the menu above, have been able to separate from a bad relationship within 5 days of reading it. So what does that mean? Does that make me a “Life Coach”.. I don’t think so whatsoever. That someone related to something I wrote is a great bi...

“You get me” “You really listen” “Wow you really figured me out quick”‘ This is what many people have said that I have had a relationship with. I think something I have always done well is listen. But not in the conventional way. It is hard to be the person who “listens” because it often comes with the stigma of “you read too much into things” or you end up disappointed by what you hear(see). I wi...