Look Good for the Boys

For every undead relationship destined to end by someone walking off into the sunlight, there’s one that just needs to find the right vein. So, Andy and Philip kick off this “season of love” by counseling queer vampires’ biggest celebrity couple: Louis and Lestat from Interview With the Vampire (1994).

Andy and Philip don’t feel comfortable going to a theater right now, so we decided to just create our own version of Scream (2022). No spoilers, obviously, because we just made it all up!

Andy and Philip don’t care what your favorite scary movie is. We just want to know: who’s the hottest victim of the Scream franchise? Ghostface kills ‘em, we rank ‘em.

Andy and Philip are trying to work through their pile of ultra low-budget, direct-to-video/streaming movies (AKA The Vertical Stack) starting with the 2016 Maryland regional horror anthology Terrortory.

Andy and Philip round out this bizarro year with the horror movies and TV shows we most want to f**k, marry, and kill; as well as giving out awards for Top Drawers, Closed Caskets, Rick of the Year, Not My Final Girl, Semi Final Girl, and more!

Have you been good ALL year, or were you naughty and need to be punished? Either way, Andy and Philip have a little Christmas present for you: our victim rankings of Silent Night, Deadly Night 4, 5, and the 2012 “remake” (...?), as well as our Top 10 hottest victims of the entire series.

In the spirit of the holidays, Andy and Philip rank the hotness of every victim in the most prolific of the Christmas horror franchises: Silent Night, Deadly Night, beginning with the first three films.

We’re baaaaack! And we are dying to dish about all the 80’s-flavored fashion of the Poltergeist trilogy, but especially the ultimate psychic fashion icon: Tangina (Zelda Rubenstein), who is serving major psychic grandma vibes with iconic variations like: lady who brunches, Santa Fe retiree, and archeologist medium (complete with dig site vest). Listen up as Andy and Philip take on the fashions (an...

Andy and Philip are still on break, but we’ve cooked up a spicy little side dish to add to your Thanksgiving feast: some stale leftover Halloween candy! So, carve out a little extra time this holiday weekend to hear us attempt to digest Halloween Kills!

Andy and Philip are nursing their Halloween “hangovers” and taking the month of November off to recuperate. While you wait patiently for a delicious holiday smorgasbord of meaty material, here’s a little snack to tide you over: a rambling conversation about recent things we’ve watched including Lamb, V/H/S 94, Girl School Screamers, Terminal Island, and Alone in the Dark (1982).

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! The Halloween Homecoming Dance is finally upon us…but who cares? We’re way more excited about the after party at Hill House with our special guests: Thomasin (The VVitch), The Shadow Father (Demon Wind), The Beast (The Black Cat, 1981), and Kayako (Ju-On: The Grudge), as well as everybody we loved (and nobody we hated) from all the films we’ve watched. It’s party time! (No Cops, N...

It’s our last spirit week before the Halloween Homecoming Dance, and we need to settle on our final mascot: an official Ghost. But we also need a place to throw the after party! So, join us as we debate the merits of Hill House and Tokunaga House with The Haunting (1963) and Ju-On: The Grudge (2002).

No Halloween Homecoming Dance is complete without a black cat! But since there are so many, we had to narrow it down to just Italian horror films positioning themselves as adaptations of Poe’s The Black Cat which includes: Argento’s The Black Cat from Two Evil Eyes (1990), Cozzi’s The Black Cat (1989), Fulci’s The Black Cat (1981), and Martino’s Your Vice Is a Lock Room and Only I Have the Key (19...

This week for Spirit Month the Halloween Homecoming Dance Party Planning Committee is clawing at: DEMONS! But be careful, this selection of contenders are highly contagious. So, don’t let any of them bite, scratch, or even look at you (and definitely don’t try on any masks), as we battle our way through our double feature of Demons (1985) and Demon Wind (1990) to select our official Demon of the D...

Our Halloween Homecoming Dance Party Planning Committee is kicking off Spirit Month with: WITCHES! Grab your broom, cloak, and black hat for our enchanting double feature of The VVitch & The Devonsville Terror. There are plenty of sexy, seductive spell casters out there, but only one gets to be the official Witch of the Halloween Homecoming Dance…

We’re baaaaaack! It’s October and we’re kicking off Season 2 with a visit to Halloween’s past, present, and future as we chat about the films we watched while on break, preview some upcoming attractions, and form the Halloween Homecoming Dance Party Planning Committee (HHDPPC) to layout the celebrations of our Spirit Month!

We’re heading back to school with our friends over at Bunk 237! We’re super nervous about being Freshmeat, but hopefully this Gore-ientation will prepare us for the high school experience, especially the educational films: Disturbing Behavior and The Faculty. Be sure to check out Bunk 237 for the follow-up crossover: The Fearbook Committee!

Don't worry, we'll be back from our little break VERY soon with a brand new season. In the meantime, here's a little snack to tide you over: a delectable conversation we had to cut from our Hot or Not...Alive: Jason X episode in which we dissect the astro-political landscape of the film, the hotness of Space Marines, and Über Jason's über...anatomy.

We are celebrating the end of Season One and Friday the 13th Month (on Friday the 13th, of course) by culling all those Top Drawer victims! Which hotties of the bodies are enshrined in Jason’s shack and which are tossed to the side like sacks of meat? Find out as we narrow down the Hot or Not…Alive victims to our Official Top Thirteen!

With Friday the 13th Month coming to an end this week, Andy and Philip have a "special" "bonus" episode to round out our Hot or Not...Alive coverage of the franchise with the two final (and worst) of the films: Freddy vs. Jason and Friday the 13th (2009). So, take one final breath and join us as we finish ranking the hotness of the nearly 200 victims of the twelve Friday the 13th films.

This week, Andy and Philip are going to hell...or space...wherever is sexier, because it's the final week of Friday the 13th month, and we are powering through our Hot or Not...Alive coverage of the franchise. We've reached the New Line films, and we're determined to rank the hotness of each of these victims, no matter the cost. So, join us as we discuss Jason Goes to Hell and Jason X.

We're halfway through Friday the 13th Month and have reached the end of the Paramount series of films. Andy and Philip continue asking the tough questions about who among Jason's victims deserve "Top Drawer" status, and which ones we are throwing in a "Closed Casket". Join us as we Hot or Not... Alive Parts VII and VIII. 

Andy and Philip continue celebrating Friday the 13th Month with the arduous task of ranking the hotness of the series’ victims in our segment Hot or Not…Alive, covering Part V: A New Beginning and Part VI: Jason Lives.

Hot or Not..Alive returns for our Friday the 13th Month, as Andy and Philip begin the daunting task of ranking the hotness of the nearly 200 victims across 12 films beginning with the first four. So, buckle up! It’s going to be a long month of talking about hot (literal) bodies. Obviously: Spoiler Alert! Because clearly everyone we talk about dies.

We are officially kicking off Friday the 13th Month by gabbing about those Girls that be Final. We gush over our favorites of the franchise and talk mess on a couple we wish went to a different school (You can’t sit with us, Tina & Rennie).