Look Good for the Boys

It’s our last week on the beach, and we wanna go out with a bang by having a Blood Nightmare Beach Party! Grab the nearest babe and/or hunk and start dancing the Zombie Stomp, but watch out for creatures in the water (or maybe under the sand) as we electrocute our way through three beach-based horror movies: The Horror of Party Beach (1964), Blood Beach (1980), and Nightmare Beach (1989).

This week at the Summer Beach House, we’re going on a special excursion: A Zombie Island Safari! So, shamble your way to the tropics, where we’ll crown our Zom Queen and King, give out some jaw-ripping zombie makeovers, and blast the hottest summer jams as we chew our way through the Italian zombie craze with Zombie (1979), Zombie 3 (1988), and Zombie 4: After Death (1989).

Hey all you babes and hunks, it’s officially summer and for the next three weeks we’ll be at the Look Good for the Boys Beach House! First up, it’s shark week in a stuffed-to-the-gills episode as we windsurf through three Jaws rip-offs: The Last Shark (1981), Deep Blood (1990), and Cruel Jaws (1995). So, put on your skimpiest swimwear, lather on that sunscreen, and don’t be afraid to get in the wa...

Andy and Philip attend a Nightmare Concert, AKA Lucio Fulci’s 1990 meta-horror gorefest Cat in the Brain. Meanwhile, Mance from The Cellar (1989) threatens the throne of Rick, The Worst; Tatum is inducted into the Cream Squeens; and F**k, Marry, Kill gets a makeover.

Andy and Philip fire up the trusty old Quiglometer for a “Spiral” trip to the movies; gush over the layered styles of psychic fashion icon, Zarabeth, from Witchboard; rank the sweaters of Crystal Lake; and dish about the goth-casual couture of Mother of Tears.

“We would have to basically devote an entire episode to outlining what each character stands for when we invoke it in this evaluation.” -Andy, Episode 2B. And that is exactly what we do as Philip presents his Night of the Demons ratings system.

Andy and Philip get so carried away discussing the movies they’ve watched that it became its own episode. They ramble on about Drive-In Massacre (1976), Rush Week (1989), Last Gasp (1995), and Blood Stalkers (1976) and in the process they take stock of the holidays horror has conquered, cancel the Universal monsters, FMK the Roberts Patrick and Andy finally finds a way to belong to something.

Andy dissects a Black Cat, the surprisingly faithful (and upsetting) 1966 Poe adaptation; Philip explores his toxic relationship patterns through the 1988 slasher Edge of the Axe; and they both tell you why you’re (probably) wrong about Wrong Turn (2021).

Andy practices his Spanish with Hasta el Viento Tiene Miedo; Philip praises Ashley Laurence (and absolutely nothing else) in Warlock III; and we inadvertently rank most of the major franchises while trying to come up with a Look Good for the Boys ratings system.

Andy and Philip rank the hotness of the 57 victims of the leprechauns across all eight films (yes, even Origins). Obvious Spoiler Alert! We are quite literally going to tell you every character that dies (and how hot they are...relatively.)

Before we slash into the real meaty gossip, we thought we should give you a little idea of who we are and what we're doing here. What even is horror gossip? Don't worry, we'll tell you. But first, buckle up for our Slaymate Centerfolds. We're giving you our bios, measurements, horror turn-on's and turn-off's, and some tasty trivia like how we met and what horror location we wish we had lost our vi...