Living While Loving Your Child Through Addiction

This episode is part of series - The Families We Don't Hear About: Recovery Through Relationship. Elevating the stories of families who chose connection over tough love. Paula Brown-Stumpf spent years feeling like nothing she was doing was working - and a phone call with her son ended in a fight that cut off their relationship entirely. What she did next is why you want to hear her story. Instead...

Have you ever thought, "I've tried everything and nothing works?" If you're parenting a child struggling with addiction, that belief probably feels true. You've read books. Listened to podcasts. Gone to meetings. Tried boundaries, consequences, conversations, and prayers. Yet nothing seems to create lasting change. In this episode, Heather explores three powerful forces that...

Series: The Families We Don't Hear About: Recovery Through Relationship For decades, families have been told that love, support, and staying connected to a child struggling with substance use is “enabling” and that there’s only one way to help. We don’t hear enough about families that are going against that narrative and choosing recovery through relationship instead. This is the first episode...

If you feel like your mood, energy, and entire day depend on your child’s behavior, you’re not alone. Many parents of children struggling with substance use find themselves constantly reacting, walking on eggshells, overthinking every interaction, and waiting to see what happens next before they can feel okay. In this episode, Heather breaks down why this pattern happens and how it keeps you stuck...

You're Not Codependent. You're Conditioned. There's a difference. If you've ever asked yourself : Why am I like this? Why can't I calm down? Why do I keep reacting when I swore I wouldn't? Those questions have answers and they're not "you're codependent" or "you just need to detach." Actual answers that finally help you understand yourself. What you'll hear in this episode is something most people...

There are two simple concepts that are almost never part of the conversation around parenting and substance use and when they’re ignored, the costs are huge for you, your child, and for your relationship. In this episode I’m breaking down what those concepts actually mean and why understanding them is one of the most humanizing shifts you can make as a parent. You’ll learn: • Why your child may no...

When you’re parenting a child who’s struggling with substance use or mental health, it changes you in ways most people will never understand. Your nervous system rewires itself around fear. Your world shrinks to monitoring, anticipating, and trying to prevent disaster. And before you even realize it, your sense of self - your identity - becomes injured by the constant crisis. In today’s episode, w...

When traditional treatment hasn’t created the changes you hoped for, it’s easy to feel like there’s nowhere left to turn. In this episode, Jeremy French -founder of Making Whole -offers a completely different way of seeing substance use and what people actually need for recovery and a meaningful life. In this episode, we explore: How substance use becomes a powerful solution because it temporarily...

We all start out with dreams for our kids — who they’ll be, what their lives will look like, and how it will feel to be their parent. But when it doesn't turn out anything like we expected, fear kicks in. Maybe your child is struggling with substances, their mental health, or their identity. Maybe they’ve made choices that scare you, or revealed parts of themselves that challenge everything yo...

When we say “justice,” do we mean punishment - or safety, dignity, and repair? In this episode, advocate Susan Ousterman joins Heather to rethink what justice looks like in the overdose crisis. Drawing from lived experience and years of policy work, Susan explains how criminalization fuels stigma, why harsher penalties (including drug-induced homicide laws) backfire, and how they even undercut Goo...

What happens when compassion, science, and family come together to reshape the way we understand addiction? In this powerful episode, I talk with Dr. Carrie Wilkens co-founder of the Center for Motivation and Change (CMC) and co-author of Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change. We talk about the origins of CMC and how that created a blueprint that challenged the “tough love”...

Heather talks with author Jackie Jackson about her new book, Holistic Trauma Healing: Strategies to Integrate the Body, Mind, and Spirit. Jackie shares her personal journey and what she’s learned about healing beyond traditional approaches and integrating different healing modalities. You’ll hear: • How trauma shows up in everyday ways like anxiety, people-pleasing, and exhaustion. • Why healing t...

When you’re parenting a child who struggles with substances, it can feel like you don’t have a choice. The options in front of you often feel terrible, and the weight of helplessness colors everything. I know this firsthand—during the years of my daughter Helanna’s substance use, I felt like my life was completely at the effect of hers. Without a sense of agency, everything felt horrific, like the...

Guest Colleen Freeland opens up about her 20-year struggle with daily drinking, even while maintaining what looked like a “perfect” high-achieving life. She shares the pivotal moment when she realized alcohol wasn’t the real problem—it was what she believed about herself—and that what she truly needed was to do less, not more. That insight led her to create a whole new approach to change. In this...

You’re told to “hold them accountable” but what if that’s not moving them toward change? Heather shares the science behind why constant confrontation often creates more shame, hiding, and resistance. She offers a clear two-step framework to help you shift perspective and use a balanced approach that’s proven to increase motivation. This isn’t about ignoring reality, it’s about using strategies tha...

In this heartfelt conversation, Heather sits down with Pam Lanhart from Thrive Family Recovery Resources to explore how to keep living with purpose, joy, and connection when life throws everything at you—family challenges, health scares, and the unpredictable ups and downs of a child struggling with substance use. Together, Heather and Pam discuss: •How to reclaim moments of joy without feeling li...

When your child is struggling with substance use, it can feel like every interaction is high-stakes. You want to help, but even well-meaning conversations can backfire. That’s why today’s episode is all about a simple but powerful tool: The Connection Bank Account. You’ll learn: • What the Connection Bank Account is and how it works • Why connection is your most effective parenting tool • Real-lif...

In this heart-opening conversation, Heather is joined by Debby Kerr-Henry who is the sponsor of The Unlimited Gavel Club, a Toastmasters group where approximately 60 incarcerated men learn to write, speak, debate, and reclaim their sense of purpose. In this episode,Debby shares why she believes their stories - especially about substance use and recovery - belong in the conversation far beyond pris...

If you’ve ever decided not to give your child money and still felt like your heart was being ripped out so you said yes anyway… this episode is for you. In this episode, I’m unpacking what really happens when we stop giving from a place of survival, and why that decision can feel so excruciating, even when we know it’s right. Learn: • Why saying no can feel like you're severing the last thread...

If you’ve ever felt stuck between loving your child and losing yourself, this episode will help you see that taking your life back doesn’t mean letting go. It means leading the way with compassion, clarity, and strength. Heather shares how years of fear, guilt, and hopelessness kept her stuck — and the exact moment she found a path forward. She introduces the two-part approach that helped her feel...

Guilt is one of the most common emotions parents face when their child is struggling with addiction, but is it always telling the truth? In this episode, I’m sharing some personal reflections and hard-won realizations about guilt: how it became my default emotion, how it blocked me from feeling what was actually true, and what happened when I finally stepped out of guilt and into my true emotions...

Today we’re tackling one of the most painful questions parents face when their child is struggling with substance use - "Should I kick them out?" You’ll hear why this question is far more complicated than it’s often made out to be and why it deserves careful thought, not quick advice based on outdated, stigmatized ideas like "tough love" or "rock bottom." In this episode, Heather shares: Why the w...

For years, I lived with my peace tied directly to my daughter Helanna’s addiction. When she struggled, I felt powerless, sick, exhausted, and consumed by fear. But everything began to shift when I realized that peace isn’t something that can be stolen—it’s something we either protect or give away. Even in the most heartbreaking moments, I discovered that I still had agency over how I related to my...

There is a crucial difference between pity and compassion—and this distinction can deeply impact your relationship with your child. When we pity our kids, we see them as helpless victims, stripping them of their agency and reinforcing our own feelings of hopelessness. But compassion is different—it sees their struggles without defining them by them, offering support in a way that preserves dignity...

In this episode, Heather interviews Jeremy French, the founder of Making Whole, an organization that fills a critical gap in the addiction recovery treatment system. While traditional recovery programs often focus on short-term stabilization, Making Whole provides the missing piece—long-term support through meaningful work, mentorship, and personal growth. Jeremy shares his journey of asking a piv...