Living Dead in Austin

This movie is better! Better than the other movies, better than the book. The vampires finally start doing some vampire stuff. Except for Riley, the middle-management vampire. Sucks to be him. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ We are Alice Sullivan , Micah Sparkman, and Jeff Lake . Find our other podcasts at armadillo.club ! Music: CHASIN' IT by Jason Shaw , licensed under CC-BY 3.0 .

Bella, Edward, and Jacob wrap up their frozen tent three-way (which turned out to be more of a no-way). Then, to battle! The Cullens and the Quileutes join battle with the baby vampire army, and destroy them handily. Victoria does try to sneak attack Bella but she ends up on the vam-pyre with the rest of them. Then (after a quick check in with Pain Jane) they focus on the next challenge: the weddi...

Bella gets engaged to Edward. She's pretty unhappy about it, but that doesn't seem to matter to Edward. Then they're off to the wilderness as bait for the attacking baby-vampires. Bella immediately begins to freeze in the cold, but she, Edward, and Jacob crowd into a tent and form a cuddle puddle to survive. Edward and Jacob take the opportunity to have a man-to-man (corpse-to-wolf?) talk. ★ Suppo...

Bella graduates from high school. She's impatient to get to the next phase of her life: death. But there is still a lot of living to suffer through. Jacob and his pack agree to team up with the Cullens to fight the newdead vampires and they all have a great time wrestling in the woods to prepare. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ We are Alice Sullivan , Micah Sparkman, and Jeff Lake . Find our o...

Bella hangs out with Jacob and the Quileutes and learns some of their ancient (but plot-relevant) history. Then she hangs out with Jasper and learns his ancient (but plot-relevant) history. Based on Jasper's experience, the Cullens figure out that somebody is raising an army of vampires in Seattle, probably intended to attack the vampires of Forks. That's not good, but it's no reason to cancel the...

Bella learns the rules of werwolvery from Jacob. The rules range from odd (they don't age) to repulsive (sometimes they form a unbreakable romantic bond with a toddler). Edward is even more controlling than usual, but after a serious talk with Bella he agrees to let Jacob make some of her decisions for her also. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ We are Alice Sullivan , Micah Sparkman, and Jeff L...

Bellas life returns to normal. Unfortunately for her, normal is not very good. I don't know who needs to hear this, but if your hundred-year-old vampire boyfriend is trying to isolate you from your oft-shirtless werewolf bestie and using the promise of eternal life to push you into marriage, do not marry that man. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ We are Alice Sullivan , Micah Sparkman, and Jeff...

We watched New Moon: The Movie! I guess I didn't realize, when reading the novel, just how many jorts were present. It's hard to ignore the jorts when they're on the big screen. Also, there's a bunch of drama about Edward and Bella and Jacob (and his jorts). ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ We are Alice Sullivan , Micah Sparkman, and Jeff Lake . Find our other podcasts at armadillo.club ! Music...

Bella goes to Italy to meet some cool vampires. None of them say "Ciao, Bella." They live in a combination sewer/office building/watchtower, and they collect special vampires like Edward. They don't get him this time, but they can wait. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ We are Alice Sullivan , Micah Sparkman, and Jeff Lake . Find our other podcasts at armadillo.club ! Music: CHASIN' IT by Jason...

Bella's second-favorite vampire returns, and she needs Bella's help. They must hurry to Italy to prevent Edward from exposing himself to tourists. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ We are Alice Sullivan , Micah Sparkman, and Jeff Lake . Find our other podcasts at armadillo.club ! Music: CHASIN' IT by Jason Shaw , licensed under CC-BY 3.0 .

Bella discovers Jacob's furry secret. Then she throws herself off a cliff. Those things aren't connected, Bella just thought that would be a fun thing to do. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ We are Alice Sullivan , Micah Sparkman, and Jeff Lake . Find our other podcasts at armadillo.club ! Music: CHASIN' IT by Jason Shaw , licensed under CC-BY 3.0 .

Bella puts her best moves on Jacob. That means she nearly dies and he has to save her life. After that he starts avoiding her, and she comes to the only reasonable conclusion: he has joined a cult. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ We are Alice Sullivan , Micah Sparkman, and Jeff Lake . Find our other podcasts at armadillo.club ! Music: CHASIN' IT by Jason Shaw , licensed under CC-BY 3.0 .

Bella is despondent over her loss of Edward. She seems like she'll never be happy again, but then she encounters the combined effect of Motorcycles and Another Hot Guy. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ (00:14) - Intro (00:31) - Recap (01:04) - Chapter 4 (08:03) - Chapter 5 (14:36) - Chapter 6 (19:01) - Chapter 7 (26:23) - Outro We are Alice Sullivan , Micah Sparkman, and Jeff Lake . Find our ot...

Bella and Edward are still madly in love, but a tragic paper cut incident at Bella's 18th birthday party tears them apart, presumably forever. Bella is very sad, and spends 4 months thinking about how sad she is. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ (00:13) - Intro (00:29) - Recap (02:10) - Cover discussion (05:33) - Preface (07:33) - Chapter 1 (23:19) - Chapter 2 (27:56) - Chapter 3 We are Alice S...

We watched the Twilight movie! Sparkly sexless vampires in the Pacific Northwest. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ (00:14) - Intro (00:25) - Review (14:03) - Outro We are Alice Sullivan , Micah Sparkman, and Jeff Lake . Find our other podcasts at armadillo.club ! Music: CHASIN' IT by Jason Shaw , licensed under CC-BY 3.0 .

Bella is rescued from having to watch her boyfriend's pickup baseball game by having a killer vampire start hunting her. She flees back to Phoenix with Edward's family, but even they can't protect her from the biggest threat: her own decisions. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ (00:14) - Intro (00:50) - Recap (02:09) - Chapter 18 (14:06) - Chapter 20 (24:16) - Chapter 22 (31:41) - Chapter 24 (40...

Edward and Bella find some private time so he can show her his sparkle. Then she meets his family, in their bathroom-less, bedroom-less house. Then, for some reason, baseball. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ (00:13) - Intro (00:30) - Recap (02:45) - Chapter 12 (11:00) - Chapter 13 (21:27) - Chapter 14 (34:30) - Chapter 15 (42:35) - Chapter 16 (48:41) - Chapter 17 (59:13) - Outro We are Alice S...

In Port Angeles, Bella finds trouble but is saved by Edward. Romance blooms. Edward is worried about the extreme danger he poses to Bella, but he soon discovers that there is no level of danger that is too extreme for Bella. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ (00:13) - Intro (00:31) - Recap (01:07) - Chapter 7 (07:00) - Chapter 8 (15:13) - Chapter 9 (25:37) - Chapter 10 (31:50) - Chapter 11 (36:4...

That's right, we're reading the sexiest of sexless vampire books: Twilight! High-schooler Bella Swan arrives in gloomy Forks, WA. She doesn't like what she finds there, with the exception of the beautiful Edward Cullen, who seems to hate Bella as much as she hates Forks. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ (00:13) - Intro (00:34) - History (04:05) - Cover Review (07:55) - Chapter 1 (15:12) - Chapt...

Fiji gets out of the hospital (though Olivia does not), just in time for the Demon Sex Ritual. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ (00:13) - Intro (00:32) - Recap (03:04) - Chapter 30 (06:15) - Chapter 31 (09:19) - Chapter 32 (10:49) - Chapter 33 (12:32) - Chapter 34 (15:04) - Chapter 35 (17:10) - Chapter 36 (17:40) - Chapter 37 (23:44) - Chapter 38 (26:08) - Closing Thoughts (29:22) - Outro We ar...

It's time for explanations in Midnight, as Lemuel tells his unexpectedly boring past, and Manfred learns the new gas station attendant's unexpectedly exciting story along with his connection to Manfred himself. Then the Midnighters tie up some loose ends permanently. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ (00:13) - Intro (00:32) - Recap (01:11) - Chapter 21 (09:17) - Chapter 22 (10:53) - Chapter 23 (...

Fiji teaches Teacher a lesson about invading her space. Lemuel knows how to uncover the dark secret of Midnight, but it requires somebody who can read Etruscan, which nobody living can. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ (00:13) - Intro (00:31) - Recap (01:07) - Chapter 14 (06:59) - Chapter 15 (09:26) - Chapter 16 (10:37) - Chapter 17 (12:48) - Chapter 18 (15:57) - Chapter 19 (17:26) - Chapter 20...

The strange suicides continue, and the Reeds are also getting hinky. Also, the malevolent presence at the crossroads is speaking to Fiji, who really doesn't have time for it. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ (00:13) - Intro (00:32) - Recap (02:04) - Chapter 6 (09:25) - Chapter 7 (12:30) - Chapter 8 (14:46) - Chapter 9 (20:52) - Chapter 11 (24:21) - Chapter 12 (27:04) - Chapter 13 (31:21) - Outr...

A series of bizarre suicides unsettles the Midnighters, especially Fiji, whose patience is already worn thin by her visiting sister. Hopefully Lemuel has the answer in that creepy werewolf-skin book. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ (00:13) - Intro (00:27) - Recap (01:30) - Cover (03:08) - Prologue (04:11) - Chapter 1 (10:48) - Chapter 2 (15:39) - Chapter 3 (16:52) - Chapter 4 (20:57) - Chapter...

Manfred gets some good news about the police investigation, then his nemesis Lewis (and friend) get some very bad news about what's lurking on the streets of Midnight during the full moon. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ (00:13) - Intro (00:30) - Recap (01:26) - Chapter 29 (07:18) - Chapter 30 (10:07) - Chapter 31 (13:45) - Chapter 32 (15:56) - Chapter 33 (17:24) - Chapter 34 (20:44) - Chapter...