Let's Talk About........With Nicky Perfect

The most painful part of grief can be what happens after the condolences stop. When everyone returns to their routines, the person who lost someone is left with the quiet, the calendar, and the dates that suddenly feel impossible.  I’m joined by Kelly Edmondson, a trauma ICU nurse from Ohio who spent decades caring for people in crisis, until she became the one who needed care. After her son Dariu...

Grief can make you feel like the world should stop, yet everything keeps moving and you’re left trying to keep up. I’m on my own for this one, speaking as a former hostage and crisis negotiator who’s heard hundreds of stories from people in crisis and as a human being who has also had to carry loss. I share three hard lessons that shaped my work and my life: we will all face crisis at some stage,...

Every suicide callout Claire attended as a police officer was male and that pattern haunted her long after the blue lights switched off. Claire Dunn joined Essex Police at 20, spent 18 years responding to crisis, and was medically retired with PTSD in 2016. She retrained, stepped into the NHS, and quickly hit a new shock: in school-based mental health services, boys were barely being referred, eve...

Suicide is still taking too many men, and the scariest part is how often it happens in silence. I sit down with Aldo Kane, former Royal Marines commando and one of the world’s go-to safety and expedition leads for extreme TV and film, to talk about what he’s learned from decades in high-risk, high-consequence environments and from losing close friends to suicide. We dig into why men can struggle t...

This episode is part of Podcasthon 2026 , a global podcast movement highlighting the work of charities around the world. For this special release on Friday 20 March , we are proud to support SHOUT , the UK’s free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging service for anyone struggling to cope. Grief can make the world feel smaller, quieter, and strangely far away from who we used to be. In this deeply hon...

A quiet smile can hide a collapsing world. Michele D’Souza joins us to share the story of her brother Nick and the hard truth many of us avoid: suicidal distress often looks like recovery on the surface. We walk through the uncertainty that followed his death, the relentless guilt of being the last to see him alive, and how a decade of grief reshaped Michele’s life and work. From there, we shift i...

A hard truth unlocked everything for us: the second time you ask “Are you really okay?” is when the real answer shows up. Susie shares how she moved from being sectioned as a teenager to building a life she once thought was out of reach—work promotion, supportive love, and plans for a youth‑focused suicide prevention project.  Together we break down practical tools for supporting someone in crisis...

🎥 Watch on YouTube A gentle hello can change the course of a life. That’s the heart of our conversation with therapist Rachel Young, who shares how simple, human connection can interrupt a suicidal spiral without perfect words or clinical expertise. We walk through what real pain often looks like from the inside, why people describe themselves as a burden, and how a sudden “lightness” can appear...

 🎥 Watch on YouTube A football terrace nickname, TV attention, and nights out might look like belonging—but Lee’s story reveals what happens when external validation drowns out a silent, aching inside. From childhood loneliness to alcohol dependence, from extreme weight loss to a mental civil war, he takes us through the moments that pushed him to the edge—and the brutal aftermath that followed w...

A quiet shift in someone’s routine can be the loudest alarm. We sit down with retired detective and crisis negotiator Nicky Hurdley to unpack how frontline negotiation skills translate into everyday conversations when a friend, teen, colleague, or partner might be suicidal. Instead of scripts or clichés, we focus on the human core: notice subtle changes, echo the exact words you hear, validate fee...

What would you say if someone you love hinted they might not want to stay? We sit down with Sue Williams—former head of the Hostage and Kidnap Units at Scotland Yard—who brings 35 years of crisis negotiation to a question many of us fear: how do you talk about suicide with care, courage, and clarity? Sue breaks down the essentials with a precision that feels human, not clinical. We explore how to...

 🎥 Watch on YouTube In this episode, Nicky speaks with Danny Kett , a former police negotiator with 30 years of experience, 18 of those in hostage and crisis negotiation. Danny shares what crisis work taught him about conversations that matter most — especially when suicide is a concern. They discuss myths that hold people back, including the fear that mentioning suicide puts the idea in someone’...

 🎥 Watch on YouTube When Help Feels Like Pressure: One Voice, Safe Space, and Conversations That Save Lives Host Nicky talks with former police officer and negotiator Damian about what really helps when someone is in crisis. They unpack the reality of suicide in the UK, why crowds and escalating responses can increase pressure, and how one trusted voice in a safe space can change a decision. This...

Watch on YouTube In this episode Nicky talk to Katey Martin, a police officer and head of counter-terrorism negotiation training in the UK, discussing her experiences and the importance of suicide prevention.  She highlights that 95% of their call-outs in London involve crisis situations. Katey emphasises the success of negotiators in saving lives through difficult conversations. She trained as a...

In this episode Nicky explains how human emotions play a large part in how people respond to change. She goes through the Kubler Ross grief cycle and how this helps explain why we experience the emotions we do and how you can manage them. Resources & support (UK) Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7) Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7) PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141  Explore more tools &a...

Episode 93 - Communication in change episode 1 by The Communication Coach Resources & support (UK) Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7) Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7) PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141  Explore more tools & training:  🌐 www.nickyperfect.com  🌐   www.thecommunicationcoach.co.u k

For many of us Christmas is a time to relax and have fun but for some of us it's a time we spend with people we don't really know or necessarily even get on with. It's also often a period filled with difficult conversations, emotion and breakup of many relationships. In this episode Nicky speaks to Janthea Brigden. Janthea owns a company called Nipperbout creating child friendly env...

In this episode Nicky looks at four areas to help you have those conversations you have been putting off. Emotions - why conversations with our families can often be driven by emotions and the impact of this. Consequences - what they are and why you should think about them before you have the conversation. Beliefs - both yours and the person who you are going to talk to and how they intertwine. Ho...

In this track Nicky looks at two common questions she is asked. She shares the 4 P's;Purpose - what outcome do you want from this conversation and why is it so important to you. Practice - what you are going to say and how you are going today it. Permission - give yourself permission to ask. Perspective - look at the world from the other person's point of view. How will they view your re...

Episode 89 - Values and beliefs by The Communication Coach Resources & support (UK) Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7) Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7) PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141  Explore more tools & training:  🌐 www.nickyperfect.com  🌐   www.thecommunicationcoach.co.u k

Episode 88- How to have difficult conversations by The Communication Coach Resources & support (UK) Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7) Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7) PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141  Explore more tools & training:  🌐 www.nickyperfect.com  🌐   www.thecommunicationcoach.co.u k

In this episode Nicky chats to Jo Berry. Jo's father, Sir Anthony Berry, was killed by an IRA bomb in 1984.In 2000 Jo met the man who had planted the bomb, Patrick Magee. This is her amazing story which touches on so many aspects of communication and being human. It's hard to describe this story so the best thing to do is listen as Jo tells it in her own words. Resources & support (U...

In this track Nicky explains why she believes communication is such an important skill and yet one of the core functions of every day that gets forgotten about. When we speak to each other it's generally from an unconscious place and we don't think about the words we are saying or how we are approaching the conversation. When we become more conscious in our communication we can leave peo...

In this episode Nicky looks at 5 steps you can take when having difficult conversations and help you to be heard. The last year and this most recent lockdown has been a challenge for everyone and sometimes this affects our relationships and our ability to communicate with others. Resources & support (UK) Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7) Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7) PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under...

In this episode Nicky gives you five tips to help you become more confident in your conversations. Perhaps you struggle to be heard in meetings or at home, or do you struggle to get your message across in meetings. Actions for you to take:1. Practice2. Listen to what other people say and then reflect back what you have heard.3. Quietening your inner dialogue4. Being present5. Make it about the oth...