Let's Talk About........With Nicky Perfect

Your teenager used to want to do everything with you and now they would rather sleep, scroll, or stay in their room and somehow the summer holidays make that shift feel even louder. I talk honestly about the guilt, the internal questions, and the sheer exhaustion that can come with parenting teenagers when routines vanish and the push for independence ramps up.  We look at the summer from both sid...

Teenagers can go from cuddles to closed doors so fast it feels personal, and that’s where many parent-teen conversations start to break down. We dig into what’s really happening during adolescent brain development, why emotions run hotter than logic, and why fitting in can suddenly matter more than our opinion. Along the way, I share the book that helped me make sense of it all, “Blame My Brain,”...

There are parts of this podcast where the sound dips a little, this is due to a poor signal whilst recording. Holidays put relationships under a microscope. The same people you adore can become the people you clash with fastest, especially when you’re together 24-7, routines disappear, and everyone brings different needs into the same space. From a real family break with partners, mums, in-laws, p...

In this episode of Let's Talk About, I sit down with Tom Emery, founder of HEX Talent and Development, to explore authenticity, trust, emotional self-awareness, and the conversations many of us avoid. Tom shares his personal journey of growing up queer, hiding parts of himself from the world, and the impact that authenticity has on our confidence, relationships, and leadership. Together, we d...

Your teenager didn’t wake up one morning and decide to become impossible. The shift can feel sudden, but there are real reasons behind the door-slamming, the sarcasm, the “that’s not fair”, and the long stretches of silence from their room. We bring a hostage and crisis negotiator’s lens to one of the most personal challenges there is: negotiating with teenagers while keeping your relationship int...

Silence can feel polite, but it can also be lethal. We sit down with Heather Rose and talk about the subjects many families tiptoe around: bullying, suicide, miscarriage, and the messy reality of living with trauma while still needing to show up for the people you love. Heather shares her personal story with a rare mix of honesty and practicality, from being bullied as a teen to surviving a suicid...

Grief is not one feeling, it is a total rewrite of your life, your body, and your relationships. We’re joined by Clare, someone who has lived through multiple devastating losses, including the sudden death of her mum from rare gallbladder cancer and the death of her seven-year-old daughter Annaliese after sepsis was not picked up in time. Clare speaks with honesty about shock, anger, brain fog tha...

The fastest way to ruin a difficult conversation is to believe you can control the other person. We talk through what actually happens in the mind and body when stress hits, and why grief, loss, change, and fear can flip us from logical thinking into a reactive emotional state in seconds. Drawing on experience as a hostage and crisis negotiator, we share three practical lessons that show up everyw...

One morning can split your life in two. Todd joined me to tell the story he carried for years: finding his girlfriend Karen after she died by suicide on New Year’s Day, and the shock that followed him into everything that came next. What he shares is confronting at times, but it’s also deeply human and, for many listeners, reassuring in the most unexpected way: the feelings you’re struggling to na...

The most painful part of grief can be what happens after the condolences stop. When everyone returns to their routines, the person who lost someone is left with the quiet, the calendar, and the dates that suddenly feel impossible.  I’m joined by Kelly Edmondson, a trauma ICU nurse from Ohio who spent decades caring for people in crisis, until she became the one who needed care. After her son Dariu...

Grief can make you feel like the world should stop, yet everything keeps moving and you’re left trying to keep up. I’m on my own for this one, speaking as a former hostage and crisis negotiator who’s heard hundreds of stories from people in crisis and as a human being who has also had to carry loss. I share three hard lessons that shaped my work and my life: we will all face crisis at some stage,...

Every suicide callout Claire attended as a police officer was male and that pattern haunted her long after the blue lights switched off. Claire Dunn joined Essex Police at 20, spent 18 years responding to crisis, and was medically retired with PTSD in 2016. She retrained, stepped into the NHS, and quickly hit a new shock: in school-based mental health services, boys were barely being referred, eve...

Suicide is still taking too many men, and the scariest part is how often it happens in silence. I sit down with Aldo Kane, former Royal Marines commando and one of the world’s go-to safety and expedition leads for extreme TV and film, to talk about what he’s learned from decades in high-risk, high-consequence environments and from losing close friends to suicide. We dig into why men can struggle t...

This episode is part of Podcasthon 2026 , a global podcast movement highlighting the work of charities around the world. For this special release on Friday 20 March , we are proud to support SHOUT , the UK’s free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging service for anyone struggling to cope. Grief can make the world feel smaller, quieter, and strangely far away from who we used to be. In this deeply hon...

A quiet smile can hide a collapsing world. Michele D’Souza joins us to share the story of her brother Nick and the hard truth many of us avoid: suicidal distress often looks like recovery on the surface. We walk through the uncertainty that followed his death, the relentless guilt of being the last to see him alive, and how a decade of grief reshaped Michele’s life and work. From there, we shift i...

A hard truth unlocked everything for us: the second time you ask “Are you really okay?” is when the real answer shows up. Susie shares how she moved from being sectioned as a teenager to building a life she once thought was out of reach—work promotion, supportive love, and plans for a youth‑focused suicide prevention project.  Together we break down practical tools for supporting someone in crisis...

🎥 Watch on YouTube A gentle hello can change the course of a life. That’s the heart of our conversation with therapist Rachel Young, who shares how simple, human connection can interrupt a suicidal spiral without perfect words or clinical expertise. We walk through what real pain often looks like from the inside, why people describe themselves as a burden, and how a sudden “lightness” can appear...

 🎥 Watch on YouTube A football terrace nickname, TV attention, and nights out might look like belonging—but Lee’s story reveals what happens when external validation drowns out a silent, aching inside. From childhood loneliness to alcohol dependence, from extreme weight loss to a mental civil war, he takes us through the moments that pushed him to the edge—and the brutal aftermath that followed w...

A quiet shift in someone’s routine can be the loudest alarm. We sit down with retired detective and crisis negotiator Nicky Hurdley to unpack how frontline negotiation skills translate into everyday conversations when a friend, teen, colleague, or partner might be suicidal. Instead of scripts or clichés, we focus on the human core: notice subtle changes, echo the exact words you hear, validate fee...

What would you say if someone you love hinted they might not want to stay? We sit down with Sue Williams—former head of the Hostage and Kidnap Units at Scotland Yard—who brings 35 years of crisis negotiation to a question many of us fear: how do you talk about suicide with care, courage, and clarity? Sue breaks down the essentials with a precision that feels human, not clinical. We explore how to...

 🎥 Watch on YouTube In this episode, Nicky speaks with Danny Kett , a former police negotiator with 30 years of experience, 18 of those in hostage and crisis negotiation. Danny shares what crisis work taught him about conversations that matter most — especially when suicide is a concern. They discuss myths that hold people back, including the fear that mentioning suicide puts the idea in someone’...

 🎥 Watch on YouTube When Help Feels Like Pressure: One Voice, Safe Space, and Conversations That Save Lives Host Nicky talks with former police officer and negotiator Damian about what really helps when someone is in crisis. They unpack the reality of suicide in the UK, why crowds and escalating responses can increase pressure, and how one trusted voice in a safe space can change a decision. This...

Watch on YouTube In this episode Nicky talk to Katey Martin, a police officer and head of counter-terrorism negotiation training in the UK, discussing her experiences and the importance of suicide prevention.  She highlights that 95% of their call-outs in London involve crisis situations. Katey emphasises the success of negotiators in saving lives through difficult conversations. She trained as a...

In this episode Nicky explains how human emotions play a large part in how people respond to change. She goes through the Kubler Ross grief cycle and how this helps explain why we experience the emotions we do and how you can manage them. Resources & support (UK) Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7) Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7) PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141  Explore more tools &a...

Episode 93 - Communication in change episode 1 by The Communication Coach Resources & support (UK) Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7) Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7) PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141  Explore more tools & training:  🌐 www.nickyperfect.com  🌐   www.thecommunicationcoach.co.u k