LATE NIGHT LARGE

Our two mutilated grotesques spend a little too long lingering on the more nauseating prospects of body augmentation, including anal tattooing, voluntary amputation, and everything in between. More than a few cautionary tales and wince-inducing verbal images abound, in this unforgettably embellished episode that would leave Dr Frankenstein himself in raptures!

Our two creeping weeds query how Mary-Quite-Contrary's garden grows, while Mike typically beats around her bush, and leaves his green thumbprints all over the scene of the crime...

They see us trollin' - they hatin'. Or we are. Drunken hecklers; catcallers; bullies; all real-life versions of the online phenomena: the troll. As rude as he is gluttonous, you should never feed a troll after midnight. Or at all. Stalking online forums only to sow discord and abuse, it's no surprise to hear Mike having a modicum of sympathy for these love-starved weirdos. What constitutes trollin...

Dropping their kecks, necking brake fluid and firing up the Bunsen burner, our two maladjusted miscreants play with dangerous and sordid implements purely to convey a profound artistic statement to the esoteric masses. Will you get it?

F is for Fat, I is for Idle and T is for....never you mind. Our two out-of-shape oafs illicit suggestions on treating their body as a temple rather than a slagheap from special guest and bodybuilding enthusiast; Greig Ross. Besides the sensible advice, rest assured there will be plenty of roister-doistering from our resident slovenly slobs.

Handshakes and penguin suits all round as Mike combs his hair and watches his mouth for long enough to make a good impression for an important engagement with Her Majesty's Criminal Justice System. What are these strange customs and dress codes we demand of others and ourselves, and what function do they perform? Listen on for a lesson in etiquette and courtesy, soon disregarded and mocked by our...

Our pair of dense pillars take the piston again, as they investigate what happens when Mother Maths and Father Physics love each other so much that they perform carnal acts to create a functional art baby.

Stock up with Ajax and prepare yourselves for a life of banal drudgery slaving away over a hot stove and retrieving the head of the bog brush, for the Sisyphean theme of domestic labour.

Listen on as our two primates climb down from the trees to see what it feels like to shower and walk upright. While they're down, they restrain themselves from hurling excrement for long enough to discuss the motivations, ideals and patterns of behaviour observed in their close cousins: the human race.

What does Late Night Large have in common with disease? It's always growing. Whether it gives you the shakes, makes your skin fall off or eject your internal organs through your lower colon, /mike and Aaron want to discuss it. Preferably at the dinner table.  (Episode produced before Covid, so prescient as Hell too)

We all like to imagine our perverted voyeurism is somehow both sexy and vital to national security, so here our two creepers discuss the minefield of 'espiolarge'. Highlights include Mike terrifying children at the local swimming pool with his own brand of 'dumpster diving'...

They may not have ever met their Prince Charming, lived under the sea or used sorcery to do the housework, but there is more than a little Pinocchio in Mike, and as for the story of his night with seven dwarves, that's best left untold. Our two cartoonish anti-heroes discuss the globe-straddling fairytale and merchandise behemoth that is Disney, its roots, legacy, and the dubious background of the...

If we don't get some shelter....we're gonna fade away. All hail the sink estates, yurts, yaodongs and bus shelters for providing a place to rest our weary heads that offers at least basic protection from the elements.

Relax and knock back a few roofies as you enjoy this show devoted to mankind's restorative of choice. We spend one third of our lives asleep, so make sure you maximise the other two thirds with your favourite topical podcast!

What sorcery is this? Sit back, relax and marvel as Magic Mike makes a rabbit appear from out of his trousers. Our two warlocks of whimsy wave their impotent wands around in honour of the art of illusion as they debate the meaning, morals and mysticism of show magic and the black arts.

Tighten those screws, sharpen those blades and stoke those flames: it's time for torment. Like the sick, twisted abominations they are, our two executioner generals pick over the dead meat of suffering, and question why and how it has progressed to such a level. Weapons of choice, length of treatment and desired result are the aspects under the microscope.

If you don't know your go-karting from your geo-caching, or your orienteering from your amethyst earring, then this is the show for you! Our two plucky pioneers wander lost in the desert for longer than the Hebrews as they seek to find their bearings, which you can bet it is mightily amusing.

Anybody who's spent any period of time around Mike will doubtless require some form of therapy. The question is will they require their mind, body or soul rehabilitated? The various forms of professional healing are discussed to death in this thrilling episode.

Listen on as our crafty cretins fail miserably to keep their hands to themselves, and explain how, in the far distant past, man rather than machine used to make things, and how a few hardy rustic folk still do.

If all the people in the world camped out in your back garden, would you write and tell the King, or would you grab a tent and join them? Lay the table, boil the kettle and fling open the door for this genial slice of Large which surprisingly has nothing to do with accident and emergency.

Our two idle wretches talk idols and retch in this plinth-mounted debate. Is any form of worship healthy or mutually beneficial? When does admiration beget infatuation beget obsession? All these questions and more will seek to be answered by our two anti-heroes with an unhealthy attraction to themselves.

Why help others when you can't get your own life right? Do you really want other people to point out what you're doing wrong? And pay them for the pleasure? That might not seem enticing, but watching free video demonstrations on youtube can indeed prevent you mugging yourself off, so swings and roundabouts.

Unlock the mysterious nightmare box and open the gates of Hell, as we delve into the labyrinth of the mind, and ponder over why man seeks to find words in jumbles of letters, or arrange numbers in a preordained sequence, never mind move little pieces of wood around a chequered board for hours.

From a primal scream to a menacing whisper as you brandish the machete, there are many methods of conveying thoughts and ideas to our fellow humans. The motives are limitless and the means just as much. Are we trying to sell our recipient a product, or an idea? Are we attempting to kill them with kindness, or bullets? Or, as Mike so eloquently puts it: 'Am I eating it, fighting it or f***ing it?'

Everyone wishes for subordinate underlings, but it's not so easy to house-train humans and convince them to follow you on a lead. Tonight's discussion centres on the cute, the smelly and the downright vicious animals that we share our homes and businesses with. Be prepared for skinny pigs, Satanic goats and pugs in little tuxedos dragging around miniature trailers with drinks and finger food on th...