LATE NIGHT LARGE

Whether they're after fish, honey, picnic baskets or cocaine, bears are bad news. Not that you'd know it from the characterisation of them in popular culture. Mike and Aaron take a nuanced look at these hibernating hucksters and find some common ground along the way. Swatting your enemies aside like flies most certainly appealed.

"I'll take three times more security for six times less liberty" and other sordid tales feature in tonight's drawing room patter between our resident P.I.M.Ps.

Ever given up something valuable for a greater good? Give it all up, and then some more, for your favourite emcees Aaron and Mike, laying down an offering worthy of the gods here.

Imagine life is a choose-your-own-adventure where your avatar has to select one superpower. What are the pros and cons and which power would our two chin-strokers select? Decant yourself a fine brandy and recline in your chaise longue to find out.

Cower ye not, because Aaron and Mike are investigating the sources and consequences of that renowned dread that seeps into your marrow in unguarded moments. Whether it's darkness, phantoms or sock puppets that make you tremble, you can be sure it will be touched upon in an appropriate manner.

In a new bonus format to celebrate 100 shows on Spotify, Aaron and Mike will relax in a proverbial drawing room, dressed like pimps and quaffing brandy and smoking Cuban cigars while tripping over peacocks. Their mission? To take a more mature look at things in a much truncated format: that is fifteen minutes. Expect philosophy, sociology, existentialism and maybe some pop culture. The general the...

We know you prefer when Late Night Large goes low and goes vulgar, so here it is: a discussion on bizarre sexual fetishes submitted for your approval. Largey Smalls makes an appearance in his best smoking jacket to give a thumbs up or down to the most bizarre, shocking and rancid catalysts for sexual gratification known to us not-so-great apes.

Whether you need a holiday, to see extended family or flee from the authorities, most of us will need to engage with aeroplanes at some point. We've all led the cops a merry dance to the airport before barrelling our burning stolen vehicle into a departing passenger jet to watch it explode in GTA, but in real life such horseplay is frowned upon. Airport decorum, leg room and lost luggage are a...

You only need to see software that you used to just purchase but now need to pay a subscription for to understand what platform decay is about. We might easily apply it to social media platforms, but does it apply more widely to other areas of our cultural and economic life? Mike and Aaron tussle with this contentious term in order to figure out what the hell went wrong and if there's anything...

In movies, a preponderance of exposition ruins our enjoyment. But, in real life, many would give their right arm to know just what the hell is going on, and, more importantly, what is going to happen going forward. Oracles, seers, mystics, clairvoyants, shamen, soothsayers, psychics, and fortune tellers alike have claimed to foresee the future through the ages. Do they have the gift of second sigh...

Well honk our horns and cover us in custard; the time for clowning is now. Being a buffoon is serious business you know. Our two hosts go on to realise that they are too sadly too amateurish to be true buffoons and can only peak at the rank of fool.

Among the most foremost of modern scourges are both the offence of traffic itself, and offences committed while in traffic. Messrs Bliss and Large proceed to breakdance on the proverbial car roofs, all while spinning some possibly apocryphal personal misdeeds behind the wheel to avoid self-incrimination before the statute of limitations expire.

There's more to a door than you'd think. You don't just open, close or smash it in. Well, actually, that is kind of it, other than the process of locking. But where would we be without doors? Exposed to the elements, vulnerable to predators and nothing would be protected, that's where! So for safety, security and privacy's sake, our two doorknockers delve into the wonderful wor...

We all love foreign bodies entering us without our knowledge, right? Well this is our new reality, as microplastics are now part of our blood and organs, whether we like it or not. But how did this happen, how bad is it, and is there any hope of expelling these invaders before they sabotage us all from the inside? Listen on to discover the terrifying truth!

Everyone likes to think people are inspired by them. But the majority of those people aren't inspiring anyone. The likes of me and you might struggle to find even one person that remembers a conversation they had with us. But a gilded few get to wear the label 'Influencer' like a Roman tunic. Who are these contemporary elites, what do they want and how can we make them go away? Mike and Aaron stif...

Now of course certain sorts can turn almost anything on or offline into a scam, but at this stage in our history, it's striking just how much scammers define the landscape of cryptocurrency and NFTs. But is it an unfair perspective? Is there more to Cryptocurrency than a quick pump and dump behind the blockchain sheds? Play on to find out oh inquisitive listener. (P.s. LargeCoin is available now a...

What happens when you fancy nookie without the social expectations; banging without colliding; getting off without getting together? You've wandered into the realm of cybersex, you fool! Whether it's an Only Fans party, sexting, or being flayed alive by the ultimate Sado-masochistic A.I. Sex Robot, Late Night Large will get to the bottom of it. And give it a virtual spank while they're...

Imagine admiration, devotion and perhaps even devotion to someone you'd never encountered in person. This is a parasocial relationship, and experience tells us this power dynamic can lead to negative consequences on either side; perhaps Misery. But we're here to debate the other side too. Good can and does come from parasocial interactions you know, mostly from us to you.

Many would say Mike and Aaron display nothing but artificial intelligence, but we're talking about the digital kind here. Will A.I. save us from drudgery and climate breakdown, or will it gain sentience and trigger a nuclear holocaust? Is it a panacea to curb our worst impulses, or will it prove as bad as the worst people who no doubt will control it? Are we all watched over by machines of lov...

Food and corpses tend to rot too quickly for convenience, while digital data is always at risk from corruption and theft. What we need are ways to protect these important things for longer...Wikipedia will tell us how! The self-anointed Self-Preservation Society discuss the preservation of all of the above, plus a few more, though strangely not life itself. Make of that what you will.

Dressed to the nines and feeling fine, the night soon goes downhill as Mike gets lairy with the men and cheeky with the women. Some illicit substances and lewd dancing later, the head bouncer makes Mike's enemy list, as he sleeps it off in a holding cell.

Going together like a horse and carriage, the witless wonders proceed to catch the bouquet while gabbering about nuptials and bondage until they're thrown out of the church. Is the spirit of matrimony still sacrosanct, despite Mike's best efforts? There's only one way to find out.

Prepare to burn your mattress and throw it at the screws, as our two jailbait-chasers are on 'lockdown' for inciting a prison riot. With all the time in the world to think about what they've done, Mike and Aaron use their captivity to discuss means, motive and opportunity for imprisonment, as well as some inappropriate gags about prison sex.

Dante judged those guilty of treachery to be among the worst sinners, frozen in the deepest circle of the Inferno, and that's where Mike soon regrets taking a leak. Expect to hear rigorous and possibly infantile debate on the motives for betrayal, as well as a lowdown on history's most famous back-stabbers. (footnote: apologies for the mix-up in the episode, of course the historical figure referen...

Recognition comes in many forms, but Aaron and Mike only care about the kind that comes with a precious metal lustre in this trophy-laden edition of the usually sparsely-decorated topical radio fiasco. Hear about the many forms of peer approval and adulation as Mike's spiteful envy sees him kick the podium over at the Paralympics.