Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye

Public service announcement: Everyone should vote! Make sure you're registered: go to HowTo. Vote , brought to you by our partners at Democracy Works. The Dallas Cowboys. Jerry Jones and Robert Kraft. All hail Michelle Yeoh. Star Trek: Discovery . Section 31. Is this a good Bond movie? Manipulating media. Mark Zuckerberg. Lex Luthor. No backsies on The Batman trailer. Giancarlo Esposito. Sheryl Cr...

It's The Saint with Val Kilmer! We're all saints, kinda. Andy talks Russia in the 90's. Choosing the girl or the mission. How many spies actually seduce people? Talking Val Kilmer means we end up talking about Batman and Iron Man. Brooke watches the teaser for The Batman for the first time. The soundtrack. Elizabeth Shue. Andy talks about energy for a long time. Energy efficiency is sexy. Go to th...

Provo 1996 memories. When did we fall out of The Simpsons?  What is the joke? Did Homer see someone throw a show before? Marge should give it a week. Middle management. When did we realize Hank Scorpio was a supervillain? When did the Simpsons figure it out? JB knows exactly what the 1996 Denver Broncos' record was. (Andy would like to apologize to Bob's Burgers because he makes it sound like...

Welcome to The Rock. Semi jokes. A Bond film but not a Bond film. GoFundMe to get everyone high and watch movies. The Fifth Element and Provo memories. Michael Bay had promise? He cares about if he has a good time. Ed Harris, David Morse. Michael Biehn and that shower scene. Brooke is going to Montana.  Nick Cage didn't want to use cuss words. The episode of Community. Is Nick Cage good or ba...

The amazing Kay-B joins us to tell us we're wrong about Goldeneye and it is not a great Bond movie. We break the gender barrier with more women on the podcast than men, which is appropriate for Judi Dench joining as M. She owns this movie. The Best Marketed Movie of 1995. The N64 video game. In defense of Xenia. The deconstruction of Bond. Andy keeps screeching the podcast to a halt.  The nex...

This is not a Bond movie, but a response to Bond. Because Sean Connery. How we were all exposed to this movie. The BYU Varsity Cinema editing movies. Cleanflicks.  Melissa kept waiting for Denzel to show up. Mark loves Crimson Tide too!  Brooke's fire alarm goes off! I don't know what Sean Connery is speaking, but it's not Russian.  Next week is back to Bond and Goldeneye! You can w...

We have converts! Danke Bond. Sex Pyramid. Non-latino actors playing Latino characters.  Great villains. Benecio Del Toro sighting. Is that the one about the hooker with dystentery? Beating girlfriends. Fridging women. Sharks! RIP Sharkey. We love Pam. Andy loves Law and Order. An excellent conversation about representation of Latinos in media. A less impressive discussion about Eon Productio...

Welcome to the cool side of this McDLT, where we have returning champ Melissa, Candice back from her appearance on the Live and Let Die episode, and Doug and Sarah Willoughby from our Moonraker and On Her Majesty's Secret Service episodes. Mark still hates the movie. Straying from the formula-- old and new Bond don't necessarily mesh. Brad Whitaker is a weak villain. Kara is a weak Bond girl, but...

Welcome back to Jon and JB from Yours, Mine and Theirs as we channel the 1987 McDonald's classic the McDLT and keep the hot side hot and the cool side cool. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVcVXTeHTLI Welcome to the hot side.  We argue about whether this is a good movie or not. Also, is this the first instance of side nipple in Bond? Why Andy likes this-- the darkness and the critique of the...

It's the end of the Roger Moore era with Christopher Walken and Grace Jones as the baddies in. . .  dollar store knock-off Goldfinger . We welcome back returning champ Melissa as well as from Yours, Mine and Theirs Roy, Jon, and JB. There are a lot of jokes and references in this episode to the most recent episode of Yours, Mine and Theirs where Brooke guested, especially their discussion of...

It's not James Bond, it's Nick Rivers! (Val Kilmer) Returning champ Melissa is back, as are Jon, Roy, and JB from Yours, Mine and Theirs . Why Top Secret? When is this movie? Great singing! Very specific energy. Kilmer's career. Kilmer is hot but Ze Torch is hotter. That backwards scene and a Star Wars connection. We talk about going to high school in Provo and dedicate the podcast to one of our f...

Sean Connery is back! And he should've stayed gone. Returning champ Melissa joins us again.  This is a terrible movie. Why is this movie? and Kevin McClory's ability to remake Thunderball as many times as he wants.  Melissa had to watch it twice.  We remember this movie from our childhood (and other childhood theater-going experiences).  Bad 80's technology. War Games. Mark wou...

We're joined by Returning Champion Melissa, who used to do a Doctor Who podcast with Mark and Andy! Her Abuelo loved these movies and she has lots of questions about why we would ever like them? We all agree (FINALLY!)-- this one is terrible. When should we cancel movies and creators? Can Melissa have a whip? We talk a LOT about not Octopussy because the movie is bad and makes no sense. Things tha...

Taking a break from James Bond to acknowledge *gestures vaguely* all of this. Our regular crew welcome a team of some of our favorite Black geeks and experts to talk about all of the media from Black creators that have shaped America, have shaped us. Because Black Lives Matter, and Black Culture is American Culture, and so many of the things we love come from Black creatives. Find Jay Whittaker @I...

Welcome to our partner for June, the Freaky Geeks Podcast , part of the Geek Nerd Network (GNN) . Check them out here or wherever fine podcasts are sold.  Jon from Yours, Mine, and Theirs is back! Check them out, and Andy, Mark and Brooke should be guesting on there in the next few weeks.  For Your Eyes Only - it's a mess, but some of us have fond memories associated with it. Sheena East...

It's Brooke's birthday, so we take a break from James Bond to talk about one of her favorite movies ever. Guesses on what that movie is. No one guessed it. Why we love this movie. What's problematic AF about it. Behind the scenes history. Box office. How we would reboot or remake. What are our other favorite rom-coms? Why don't we make them any more? Why are they not more diverse? 

Brooke is high on sizzurup and you can tell because she liked Moonraker. We're joined by returning champs Sarah and Doug. Everyone in this movie is two opposite things. Why there are letters on mountains in Utah. Brooke REALLY wants to talk about the theme song, but first, skydiving. "Fly Me To the Moon" would've been great. Birds were DEFINITELY harmed in the making of this movie. But her being m...

Andy serenades us with Nobody Does It Better. Brooke did NOT like this movie while Mark and Andy both think it's the best Roger Moore movie. Is it boring? Cinematography. JAWS! We make a mistake about which Adam Sandler movie Richard Kiel was in. Naomi, tho. She was also in the Adam Ant "Goody Two Shoes" video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o41A91X5pns Mark needs a GoFundMe to buy the Wet Nellie...

Christopher Lee, tho. 20 minutes of us fawning over Christopher Lee and then 20 minutes of us hating on Sheriff Pepper.  The AMC Hornet and the slide whistle. Mitt Romney! The women in this movie are horribly written. Nick Nack, tho! Scaramanga has a point that he and Bond are the same, only he's getting paid. Solar energy myths and facts. Every artist in the early 70's who could do a better...

Zardoz! (Content and Trigger Warning for this episode: sexual assault and discussion of rape and assault). We blame Mark for making us watch this. Rape alarm! No, it's just Facetime. Did we see an edited version of this movie? The BYU Cougar Theatre showed edited movies - Did Andy and Brooke see The Hunt For Red October there? This plot is inexplicable, but we try to explain it anyway. Why do you...

We’re joined by Candace who loves James Bond thanks to her mom. Mr. Big has a big payroll and big revolving door budget. Favorite fashion decades. Blaxploitation. Rosie’s agency vs. Solitaire’s agency. Trigger warning: discussion of sexual assault and rape. And wackiness/hijinks. Kananga’s death. Sheriff Pepper is THE WORST. More rape discussion (it gets a little heavy, folks). Random observations...

Andy and Mark take on Derek Flint (James Coburn) in the Bond-inspired spy movies Our Man Flint and In Like Flint .  More Austin Powers connections.  Derek Flint is a Mary Sue. The Mediocre Seven. A long tangent about westerns, James Mangold, and Wolverine. Derek Flint is very American! Batgirl or Lily Munster? Flint vs. Batman '66. Just two dudes deciding whether something is feminist or...

Jon from Yours, Mine and Theirs is back to talk Diamonds are Forever . He also has a new podcast where he reads audiobooks that don’t exist called Safe Words Aloud ( Apple link —other links below).  What if Bert Reynolds or Adam West had been Bond? Sean Connery got PAID. Should we watch Zardoz? Go to the Facebook group and vote for it you want it .  Vegas in its 60’s glory. Jimmy Dean. B...

George Lazenby - we stan a legend. And we bring in guests Sarah and Doug to talk this movie and cars! The other fellow. Lazenby's history. King of the haymakers. The porn parody. Is Bond Poseidon? No one says no to Diana Rigg. Bond's blonde partner is hopeless. The Int'l House of Allergic Women. Sexism? In a BOND movie? Why does Blofeld care about being a lord? Genealogy - I am doing it! Long skii...

QUICK! SOMEBODY CHANGED DARBY O'GILL!! Featuring special guest Dr. Debra! Watch her Ted Talk here ! Watch Bond on PlutoTV now. But seriously, Brooke remembers this movie totally differently. It was The Gnome Mobile . They're called "The Mary Poppins children." The Parent Trap gives us trust issues. Scary Disney. Audio proof that the Disney+ version of Darby O'Gill and the Little People isn't the s...