Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe

Kim ::wheeze:: tells Ket ::wheeze:: about Tarot. We cover all the obvious topics: things like the bathtub practices of college students and Kim’s favorite movie, Garfield. Oh! Also, remember that funny line from Christmas Vacation between Todd and Margot about the stereo? Kim and Ket don’t either. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Tarot Dir. Spenser Cohen, Anna Halberg Write...

Ket tells Kim about The Deliverance on Netflix, starring some real powerhouse madames that did not come to play! You know who else didn’t come to play? Milk. The demons are thirsty tonight. If you needed more proof that dealing with your demons in therapy keeps the milk demons away too, here it is! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in The Deliverance. Dir. Lee Daniels Writers D...

Kim tells Ket about Triangle. The girls had so much fun on the boat to Manhattan last week, they had to board another ship. Who knew that this ship had a whole new Burpsmap in it! Welcome to the family, Michael Myers Burpsmap! The girls also debate whether they’d want to be haunted by theatre kid ghosts or improv ghosts. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Triangle. Dir. Chris...

Ket tells Kim about Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan. Despite the title, there was very little “taking” of Manhattan. Frankly, there was very little Manhattan… or blood. But there WAS a 36 year old high school student. Can someone who lives in New Jersey tell us about this voyage these children embarked upon? Is it truly this harrowing? Are there pirates? Most importantly, we’ll le...

Ket tells Kim about Longlegs starring their beloved Ick Age! It’s also starring Maika Monroe who is quickly becoming one of Ket’s fave final girls! This movie does not disappoint! So hang onto your hanging milk tits, ya dirtsy flirtsy ole’ angel bitches! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Longlegs. Dir. Osgood Perkins Writer Osgood Perkins Support the girls on PATREON for som...

Kim tells Ket about the divinely chosen The Gift, starring Michael Bluth, Kim’s favorite actress, and Ole’ Bear Paw Hands. This is truly Ket’s ultimate nightmare: house guests that pop by uninvited and won’t leave. Also, apologize to the people you were a dick as a kid. Trust us! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in The Gift. Dir. Joel Edgerton Writer Joel Edgerton Support the...

Ket tells Kim about Suitable Flesh (2023) featuring friends of the pod, Barbara Crampton, Graham Skipper and the kid they babysat in The Babysitter, Cole! Kim muses about the benefits of drinking kid blood. She, also, has apparently done her own body switch and Kim is now the “know-it-all” of the pod. Ket would like to apologize because she did NOT like the taste of her own medicine. Most importan...

Kim tells Ket about As Above So Below, in honor of the Olympics in Paris! However, they got to see no gymnastics… only old bones and a Molem’n. Womp Womp. Ketryn was asked to “riddle me this” and she said “riddle me not.” This is how super villains are created: Ketryn and The Molem’n. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ketryn will live or die in As Above So Below. Dir. John Erick Dowdle Writer John...

Ket tells Kim about Night Swim, starring the love child of her favorite couple, Wyatt Russell. This is a movie where Kim is being tasked with getting the ultimate hair tie off the bottom of the pool… and it’s not going well. Ket is simply asked to get out of a pool to live and she cannot and will not. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Night Swim. Dir. Bryce McGuire Writer Br...

Kim tells Ket about the Sammy pick, The Shallows! Join our Facebook group and Patreon to be a part of the next episode movie poll! Kim comes correct with all the couch measurements we could ever need. However, the sizing is a tad off when asked to put an arm sleeve on their legs because unlike Blake Lively, both girls have leg legs, not arm legs. Neither girl wants to end up the cherry on top of t...

Kim tells the infamous D, aka her boyfriend Nnamdi, about Hereditary, while Ket is in the UK trying to figure out how to move her cat children there. Kim is starting a petition to demand Toni Collette receive a retroactive Oscar for this role, while D is starting a demon union to get workers’ rights in hell. Also, we learn that D is safe from hauntings and possessions because he would bore the gho...

Ket couldn’t handle the survivors guilt (nor contain her thirst for revenge) after Kim told her Thankskilling in episode 275. So, when a Sammie in the ‘Sammies Stay Alive… Maybe’ Facebook group dropped this gem into the chat… Ket knew what she had to do. This movie did a lot of things. But the most egregious thing was turning Ket into a bro dude DEMANDING boobies and sexploitation. It’s a dark tim...

Kim tells Ket about Abigail, WRITTEN BY DEAR FRIEND OF THE POD, GUY BUSIIIIIIIIIIIICK! The girls do their best to navigate the black market. Ketryn takes “disciplining” Dan Stevens VERY seriously… and sexily. And yet again, the girls go full “Renfield” when a vampire is involved. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Abigail. Dir. Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett Writers Guy...

Ket tells Kim the 5th Nightmare on Elm Street for Arik’s belated birthday episode. The Sammies are shaking in their boots to find out if Ket will tear to shreds yet another one of their favorite 80s slashers! The girls give kudos to Mark for his emotional intelligence… not his acting, though. Kim saves the day by pushing in a loose brick, otherwise known as “unpulling.” Most importantly, we’ll lea...

Ket tells Kim about the new release starring Sydney Sweeney, Immaculate. Get your pearls ready because they’ll need to be clutched! Throughout, the girls have 3 questions to answer: What would you do? What does the character do? And of course, what would Jesus do? Also, if anyone is putting on the Passion Play this year, Kim is AVAIL TO PLAY MARY! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or...

Kim tells Ket about Sissy. Oh, Cecilia! You’re breakin’ my heart! You’re shakin’ my confidence, baby! The most horrifying part of this whole telling was Kim thinking that Ketryn didn’t already have big plans for the bachelorette party she demands to throw her, one day. We also discover that if committing a murder and going on the run would get Ket out of the social media rat race, she’d ask “where...

Ket tells Kim about the new release, Late Night with the Devil. And Heeeeeeeeere’s Abraxas! The girls have encountered an older Creepy Crapbag… but a full bag of crap, nonetheless. But listen, the show must go on! However, the girls have pretty solidly landed on leaving the adoption of possessed children to… NOT THEM! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Late Night with the Dev...

To commemorate this momentous occasion, the girls embark on a journey of “Ask Us Anything” with their beloved Sammies! Special guests include Producer Arik and the famous D! They also preview their plans for a KKSAM amusement park, and Kim learns there’s competition for her job from Producer Arik, so spake the Sammies. Most importantly, we’ll learn, well, all kinds of stuff about how Kim and Ket l...

Kim closes out May Madness by telling Ket about Insidious: The Red Door. The girls will attempt to determine if your teenager is a regular crapbag or a HAUNTED CREEPY crapbag who has simply had their memories of The Further suppressed. It’s also very important that you give proper distance between yourself and someone facing the wall. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Insidi...

Ep. 302 Insidious: The Last Key: “The Tale of Dunston Checks In” We’ve made it to week 4 in The Further. This week, Ket tells Kim about The Last Key. Ketryn goes on the record that she is now requiring all child actors to be bad at their job. She also thinks that being a demon is no excuse to not stand up straight. And Kim’s still gonna have to assist on any task requiring whistling. Most importan...

And just like that, we’re on Chapter 3 of Insidious! In this chapter, Dad is played by Dylmot McRoney… or is it Derlyn MulDermott? The girls remain relatively alive, so far, mostly due to the fact that they’ve NEVER. LOOKED UNDER. THEIR BEDS! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Insidious: Chapter 3. Dir. Leigh Whannell Writer Leigh Whannell Support the girls on PATREON for som...

It’s week 2 of Kim and Ket’s journey into The Further, with Insidious: Chapter 2. We get a lot of questions answered, like how to know if Arik has murdered someone based on Ket’s response. We also discover that both girls would choose the loss of all childhood memories if it meant not having a creepy crap bag. Also, how many ghosts are they willing to live with if the house is gorgeous enough? (Sp...

Kim and Ket’s journey into “The Further” begins as they traverse into the Insidious universe! But any Mom knows that the true “further” is… having kids. And now your kid’s in a mystery coma? Sorry. Them’s the breaks! ::shrug:: Here’s hoping you inherit money… and not a genetic predisposition to the spookies. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Insidious. Dir. James Wan Writer...

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Kim tells Ket about The Strangers: Prey at Night, starring the ethereal Christina Hendricks. Once again, the girls are imploring you to shut the eff up when you’re scared and hiding or running. Speaking of which, please always run in the opposite direction of a jack-in-the-box. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in The Strangers: Prey at Night. Dir. Johannes Roberts Writers Brya...