Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe

Ket tells Kim about the cult classic Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things. Much like Kim can do impressions of inanimate objects, Ketryn can do spot on impressions of people she despises but that also kind of remind her of herself in the worst possible ways. It’s complicated. She’ll talk to a therapist. Both girls will be talking to their therapists about this movie, as they were both triggere...

Kim tells Ket about Jeepers Creepers so we can all prepare for… RIGHT NOW! IT’S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW! The girls find any excuse to poorly sing the song that gave this gem its title. We also discover that Kim stans Gravity, and brothers are idiots. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Jeepers Creepers. Starring Justin Long and Gina Philips Support the girls on PATREON for some sw...

Ket tells Kim about the Shudder Original, Unwelcome. Ketryn didn’t even mean to go back to the UK but here she is again: in bright and sunny… Ireland? Some new life goals are set as both girls vie for the position of “Mother Redcap.” Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Unwelcome. Dir. John Wright Writers Mark Stay, John Wright Support the girls on PATREON for some sweet BONE C...

Kim tells Ket about Countdown. This is an app that Ketryn will NOT be downloading no matter how much Kim pressures her! So, take your inside AND outside shirts off, but please don’t give some hair a sniff. Ket is opening up her Demon Guy services but creepy crapbags are absolutely not allowed! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Countdown. Dir. Justin Dec Writer Justin Dec Sup...

Ket tells Kim about the Shudder original, Influencer. Never has Ketryn been more certain of her imminent survival and Kim’s imminent death in a movie before. Kim also perfects her Margaritaville accent and the girls explain that “Jake” and “Ryan” are absolutely the same name. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Influencer. Dir. Curtis David Harder Writers Tesh Guttikonda, Kurt...

Kim tells Ket about the sequel to one of Ketryn’s most traumatizing episodes, 47 Meters Down: Uncaged. Just as it did in the first one, Ketryn’s horror provides Kim with the unbridled joy of a super villain. Not even Yana, the welding Manta Ray, can save them now. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in 47 Meters Down: Uncaged. Dir. Johannes Roberts Writers Johannes Roberts, Ernes...

Ket tells Kim about the film based on Stephen King’s short story 1922. Through the miracle of modern technology, this episode is brought to you from Hawaii and Wales! Ketryn can’t seem to extract Tom Jayne’s accent from her speech and then Kim realizes she can’t act with her teeth without bringing her lips into the mix. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in 1922. Director: Zak H...

The girls are still not entirely sure where in the world they are so they’re comin’ at you with a re-release that is really just an excuse to talk about Saltburn! We gotta talk about Saltburn! Check out our new intro to hear the girls' full take! Ep. 8: The Killing of a Sacred Deer: “The Tale of a Sacred Sponge Bob” Kim tells Ket about The Killing of a Sacred Deer , starring Nicole Kidman, Colin F...

The girls are traveling and thought they’d send you a little blast from the Snow Space past with a second look at The Thing with an all new intro segment! Ep. 73: The Thing: “The Tale of Holdin’ Dicks to Save Humanity” Ket tells Kim about John Carpenter’s The Thing starring Kurt “Baby Blues” Russell, Wilford Brimley and Keith David. Ketryn braved some major animal horror (that she had previously b...

Kim tells Ket about The Angry Black Girl and Her Monster. The number of tangents the girls break off into is directly correlated to this brilliant film’s bummer scale. The girls attempt to showcase their STEMiness in various ways: talking about their 8th grade project on mercury, saying the word defibrillator, etc. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in The Angry Black Girl and H...

Ket tells Kim about The Rental. Come for the Jeremy Allen White meal, stay for the Dan Stevens dessert. I think a really useful lesson to glean from this film is that if you don’t go on a hike and then do drugs on Alison Brie’s schedule, you will perish. The girls feel this is fair and just. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in The Rental. Dir. Dave Franco Writers Dave Franco,...

Kim tells Ket about Annabelle and is, like, 80% sure they’ve never done this movie before. Regardless, it’s definitely the “first” time their goldfish brains are hearing it. Along with being that of a domesticated fish with a brain weighing 0.097 g, Ketryn’s brain is also full of a foggy mist that goes by the name of COVID. But don’t worry, the girls still managed to come up with a suitable name f...

Ket tells Kim about The Last Voyage of the Demeter. I think the main takeaway is that neither of the girls are of “ship people.” They also recall ye olde’ ancient ship lore, you know the one, about a man with no pupils kool-aid-manning through a door. We’ve all heard it. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in The Last Voyage of the Demeter. Director: André Øvredal Writers: Bram S...

Kim tells Ket about the Hulu Horror No One Will Save You. So, obviously, like everyone else, the girls spent 10 minutes talking about J.A.W. Ket, once again, makes multiple concessions and ignores 1000 red flags in favor of a gorgeous house. Giving up this house? Over aliens? In this economy? Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in No One Will Save You. Dir. Brian Duffield Writer...

Ket tells Kim about the Shudder original, Gwen. Since Ket is headed to Wales, she thought she’d take the Sammies with her! So, let’s all take a little jaunt to this beautiful bummer. This gorgeous gut punch. This potato pantry of pain. The true monsters have always been humans… but also check out this LANTERN! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die in Gwen. Dir. William McGregor Wri...

Kim tells Ket about the critically acclaimed Talk to Me. The girls would ALSO like to add to the acclaim! It’s not often a movie lives up to the hype. We learn that Kim is a Mia and Ket is a Jade… but also Sue. So, Ket is Kim’s best friend AND Mom which, honestly, checks out. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Talk to Me. Dir. Danny Philippou, Michael Philippou Writers Danny...

Ket tells Kim about the fantastic final Patreon pick of the year, The Advent Calendar. Join the girls' Patreon to participate in all their polls and more for 2024! (That rhymed, so now you have to do it - them’s the rules!) We close out the year by learning Kim’s true colors - and Ket’s in trouble should she ever find herself with a haunted advent calendar. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim wil...

Kim tells Ket about It’s a Wonderful Knife, as a Christmas present to herself, as well as the beloved Sammies! We meet Myrtle the Murder Angel as well as Mr. SorryIBurped. And make no mistake, the girls are solidly promoting this movie’s “Gay Agenda!” BONG BONG BONG BONG! Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in It’s a Wonderful Knife.  Dir. Tyler McIntyre Writer Michael Kenne...

Ket tells Kim about another Patreon Holiday Pick! This one was in a 3 way tie for second place. Ketryn “eeny meeny miney mowed” it and ended up here. Let’s be honest, she kinda wishes she’d meenied instead of mowed it. But what are the holidays, if not a time to question your brother’s sanity and lock the lord of the underworld in the basement? Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will live or die...

Kim tells Ket about one of the picks voted on by their patrons, Wind Chill! As of the release of this episode, there is still time to sign up to be a patron and vote on the movie that Ket will tell Kim! Ok, enough plugging. You guys, have you seen how gorgeous Emily Blunt’s eyes are?? Also, this is a PSA, don’t trick girls to get them to go on a road trip with you. You’ll get killed by ghosts. #Fa...

Ket tells Kim about the spooky Cobweb, on Hulu, starring two of their faves: Lizzy Caplan and Antony Starr. This movie was clearly called Cobweb for the way it dusty some ole’ cobwebs off Ket’s womb with this little opposite-of-a-creepy-crapbag. We also cover where D’s super hero history school, in which Kim has been enrolled, has yet to cover The Boys and will be facing an audit. Most importantly...

Kim tells Ket about the cinematic masterpiece, Thankskilling. The girls, uh… this was a tough one. It made them grateful for a lot of things: never having to watch this again, the movie being over, never having to speak of it again… just lots of gratitude. And booze. This episode required a lot of booze… and booooooos. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Ket will live or die in Thankskilling. Dir. Jo...

Ket tells Kim about the pre-Thanksgiving thriller, Kristy, starring Ashley Greene and Haley Bennett. Once again, poor sweet Kim is killed by her lack of aquatic prowess. So sad. So tragic. This time it’s Ketryn who gets to add a sound to her reSUme! ‘Tis that of a wee baby raptor. We have no doubt this will come in as handy as Kim’s chainsaw impersonation. Most importantly, we’ll learn if Kim will...

Kim tells Ket about the art house powerhouse, Slotherhouse! Spoiler Alert: Ketryn takes the side of the sloth 100% of the time. The girls coin a new greeting for each other and reminisce about college days, as usual. Most importantly, we’ll learn if the sloth… I mean Ket, will live or die in Slotherhouse. Dir. Matthew Goodhue Writers Bradley Fowler, Cady Lanigan Support the girls on PATREON for so...

Ket tells Kim about There’s Something Wrong with the Children. In honor of “The Fall of The House of Usher”, this film stars Zach Gilford. In honor of pod friends, it also stars the charming and hilarious Carlos Santos of #Gentified. Listen, if the girls have told you once, they’ve told you a trillion times: if your kid is a creepy crapbag, don’t bother trying to uncreep them! Send ‘em back! Most...