Just Ask Juliet

It's interesting how some of our friends seem to lose their entire identity as soon as a romantic relationship enters the picture. And they immerse themselves in his life and forget about or at least set aside those things that would've been important to them in their single life.

This is practical and makes a lot of sense but people don't like it when you mess with their holiday traditions. You might have found that out the hard way when you decided to make something different for Thanksgiving. Never give up, though. Even when change seems impossible you can be surprised.

We really don't like mysteries, which is why we'll stick it out to the end of a show we don't even like -- just to find out what happens. And getting ghosted is personal so in the absence of facts, we come up with all sorts of reasons for it and drive ourselves (& our friends) a little nuts in the process. Confrontations don't usually inspire open dialogue so I suggested a couple of other options...

People love to tell you the right way to do things and so many would rather be right than kind. There is no manual for the proper way to grieve though plenty of books have been written about it. The death of someone you love breaks you wide open and it seems like people who haven't experienced this are the first ones to tell you exactly how you should handle it.

Sharing clothes is very personal and this is a big ask because we're talking about a beautiful and expensive dress. Borrowing a dress for a fancy event makes a lot of sense, but it comes with a good amount of responsibility. So how do you protect your clothes and not make things uncomfortable?

She's trying to maximize her airline miles by paying for more things on her credit card so this seemed like a no brainer until she didn't get paid back all the way. Conversations about money are no one's favorite but how you treat your money says a lot about how you treat yourself.

Corporate decision-making often doesn't make a lot of sense to its employees. So when you have the chance to improve a situation, it's exciting to share your brilliance with right people! But it might not make progress happen any faster.

The key is in the planning and execution which I think very few of us actually consider when we get excited about making a change. But when is the best time to start a new goal? I'll give you a hint: is definitely not January 1.

This used to be me and I finally got tired of my friends irritation at my being consistently late for whatever our plans were. One day I decided to surprise them by being 10 minutes early. I wasn't, and that's how I figured out the thing I had been doing wrong for years.

It feels like scolding because she's a grown up and really should know better, but our addiction to these devices is a tough nut to crack. And no one wants you to point out their bad behavior! It makes us feel defensive which doesn't mean you shouldn't say anything. You just need to tread lightly.

Most work weeks are so hectic, it's only logical that the to do list for the weekend gets bigger. So big, in fact, you'll never be able to tackle it completely which can leave you with a lingering feeling of disappointment. Being productive is important but so is rest and relaxation. And fun!

When time off is not abundant it can be difficult to see family and take a truly restful holiday in the same year. And there is nothing wrong with telling the people who love you what you need. Controlling their reactions to what you say, however, is a tall order.

Has anyone ever told you that looking for a full-time job actually IS a full-time job? It's true. So I understand the logic, but letting go of your income before having another offer in hand is not without risk.

Lots of couples disagree over money but they don't have to. It sounds odd to say, but in most cases these arguments aren't really about the money itself but what it represents. Once you uncover that, you can have a meaningful conversation that moves the needle.

Some people are naturally better at taking care of themselves and getting what they know they need. The rest of us could learn a lot from them. Taking all of your allotted vacation time is essential. We've got a limited amount of time on planet Earth and if you want to see some of it, there's only one way to make that happen.

Starting a new job is stressful enough even without any conflicts on the horizon. A challenge like this makes it double tough, but there is something very simple you can do that could make a big difference in how you work together.

If saving money was easy, everyone would have a ton of cash in the bank. We all have to learn how to do it and once you break it down into smaller pieces, it's really not as hard as it may seem.

It's easy to get caught up in the joy of the occasion and forget to ask questions about all the things she's going to expect of you. This kind of conversation can be stressful but it's also essential to make sure that you don't end up going into debt for a friend's wedding and then feeling resentful about it.

You thought you'd lose those 20 pounds by the time reunion rolled around, but here you are at the same weight with the same feeling of self loathing. How can you show up just as you are and still have a good time?

You've known each other since grade school and while she's always been the bossy one, over the last few years her nonstop guru-like advice and know-it-all mentality have you feeling frustrated. So much so, that you've stopped talking to her about important things in your life because you just don't want to hear it.

You want to do good work, get recognized for it and continue developing. And sometimes you don't feel as visible on your team as some others. It's not a good feeling but now is not the time to shrink into the background.

Accidents happen and seeing documents that were meant for someone else can be very illuminating. It's very unusual to know this kind of thing in advance so it might be tempting to fashion a plan where you can really stick it to them. Or, is there a way to approach this that leaves them wishing they made a different decision?

You've been dating a while and you feel ready while he feels almost the same, maybe, but you're not sure. How do you get him to see there's no time like the present. Would he find an ultimatum motivating?

An old joke about porcupines which ends in "very carefully" comes to mind. Being critical of someone's appearance even with the most excellent intentions is difficult at best, so before even thinking about attempting something like this make sure you're coming from a place of love.

In the heat of the moment it's easy to let something we wouldn't otherwise say just slip out. Every problem has a solution though, so let's not get so wrapped up in our angst that we forget that.