Just Ask Juliet

It does take a lot of time, energy and effort to get to know someone. And it can feel deeply disappointing to realize it's not going to work when it seemed like things were going so well. Is there a cheat code for saving time and getting to the stuff that matters faster?

This has been an ongoing struggle for so many of us. It's beyond frustrating when someone you love, and otherwise respect, isn't connecting to a viewpoint on an issue you find to be completely obvious. But it's happening to lots of us everyday and there is a way around it.

Plenty of people think all things astrology are hogwash but I'm not sure any of those people have any direct experience with it. There's an easy way to figure out if it makes sense for you and even if it does it's really just another data point with which to work.

Real friends give us energy, joy, and vitality while being in a room with people you don't connect with does just the opposite. We never want to appear to be deliberately rude and uncaring but fi you have to ride that line to protect your own needs is that okay?

The saying 'you can't push a string' comes to mind and nudging or prodding can sure get irritating. There is always another way. Knowing that a lot of our future health is in our hands can be very empowering.

It never hurts to re-evaluate important decisions, to make sure you're making them for the right reasons, and with marriage in particular that can be hard.

Love languages aren't always a match so we can sometimes feel like we're not exactly in sync. We are continually evolving, learning about ourselves and our partners and that can enhance a relationship so much.

You're working hard at your job, going beyond the assignment, thinking proactively and yet each time that promotions list comes around you're not on it. It's a frustrating situation but what can you do about it? A lot, actually.

Even our closest friends will annoy us from time to time -- especially when we feel like we know them better than they seem to know themselves. So is it a good thing to be really honest with someone in the name of saving them time and energy?

Lawyers in court never ask a question they don't already know the answer to and the same should be true for proposals. If you don't 100% know for certain the answer is going to be yes, don't ask. There's no magic in the act of asking if you have not discussed plans for the future -- but there will be fear and panic.

Men have a lot of their ego wrapped up in their work which is tough to separate. And, of course, in his eyes he's doing all of this for his family so it's easy to see how differing perspectives can lead to a stalemate in this discussion.

It might sound extreme but you know in your heart of hearts you've wanted to fast forward to January just so you could get some rest. So how do you escape from the stress of a holiday that's supposed to be joyous without ruining it for everyone else?

If gift giving is their love language this will be extra difficult. Encouraging them to spend meaningful amounts of time with the kids is always a good place to start. Older folks and young kids make for good company and they go together like a wink and a smile.

It does seem obvious when someone who hasn't been able to shed weight since you've known them suddenly starts dropping clothes sizes without ever joining the gym but does that mean they want to talk about it?

If this feels rude that's only because it is rude. Mom and Dad wouldn't let us read at the dinner table, so is reading a portable screen any better? No. in fact it's way worse.

It's really hard when we love people who have unhealthy addictions. As much as we might try to get them to change their behaviors, it usually ends in frustration because it's difficult to compete with an addiction. It's not impossible to win, but it is double tough.

It's tough to present your best self when your palms are sweaty and your voice is shaky but there's a simple technique that really helps give you confidence.

If it's too much of a sacrifice for your husband to host your parents you've got to find a way to get them excited about the hotel because you don't want to increase his cortisol levels (or yours) anymore than absolutely necessary.

I know only a handful of people who dated seriously and then managed to remain longtime friends after breaking up. There's a reason it doesn't usually work out but that doesn't mean it can't work for you.

This can happen to any one of us, even if you feel like you did the best research. It's tough to know what it's like to work a job inside a company until you're entrenched. It's always a risk and we try our best to mitigate it, but with everyone on their best behavior in the interview process red flags can be elusive.

While it's totally normal to become attracted to people you see frequently that doesn't mean it's incumbent upon you to act on those feelings. You've got to think long term about the potential repercussions. Is this guy so special that you're willing to risk losing your friendship?

How many times have we been to restaurants where people at the same table are not looking at each other but down at their phone screens. It looks ridiculous but they don't notice because they are so busy there's no time to look up!

When you're with someone who has a different weekend style than you it can be tricky. Relationships are about being together but that doesn't mean relinquishing your freedoms and all the things you like to do (or don't do) in favor of what your partner prefers.

It's true that the negotiation process is part of the first impression you're making on your new employer but that doesn't mean you can't ask for what you want. You want to be compensated appropriately -- what sounds greedy about that?

We do not have the complete picture when making decisions under mercury retrograde. It means that we're missing information and since we don't know what we don't know, it's tough to feel great about the decision. Can you be comfortable knowing the picture is incomplete and move forward anyway?