Jesse & Wilder's Guide to Life

SORRY AGAIN, sorry again, we're back now. We took a lil break. Been doing FUN SHIT all summer, mostly at little festivals. Let's talk about them! THIS WEEK'S CHIT-CHAT: • Ed Helms will skin you alive • The freak tent • Racing for pinks • Midsommer vibes ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ (Holler atcha boys on  Twitter  and check out our  MERCH ) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~...

SMELLEBRATE INDEPENDENCE DAY the best possible way: by listening to our podcast about WAITING, which is not the Dane Cook movie. • Rule Boyz • Mahjong with your friends • Beloveds can never be on time • Heartbreak feels good in a place like this ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ (Holler atcha boys on  Twitter  and check out our  MERCH ) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~...

We went to college together. Can't believe it took us this long to do this one. POINTS OF INTEREST THIS WEEK INCLUDE: • Your dining hall was better than ours • Shower shoes • Fight any teacher that tells you to buy their own book • Donate money to your school if you feel like being a huge a dork ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ (Holler atcha boys on  Twitter  and check...

You getting froggy nasty in Sedona? Tryna sleep through a day of conferences in Baltimore? Hangin' it and wangin' it in NOLA? Your boys are back, and we're talking work conferences. POINTS OF INTEREST THIS WEEK INCLUDE: • Don't do any work • Don't let the company tab slip • Don't share a room with the bossman • Don't brag about knowing where the bathrooms in the hotel are ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~...

WELCOME TO THE MASTERCLASS, BABIES. Here's another sick episode that we're qualified as hell to lead. "And it will be... my masterpiece." - you, one day, if you're lucky POINTS OF INTEREST THIS WEEK INCLUDE: • Shrek 4D • Ton of wieners • The Chet Hanks Animoroph • Fish man powers ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ (Holler atcha boys on  Twitter  and check out our  M...

Do you put up with Trader Joe's? Are you a little ALDI rat? Can you afford Gelson's? (If so, buy our merch, you rich ass.) It's the grocery store episode! POINTS OF INTEREST THIS WEEK INCLUDE: • What's it cost, TEN dollars? • Gumlord Millionaire • Soup clip • The Grocery Outlet Bargain Market omakase ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ (Holler atcha boys on  Twitter  and...

There are simply so many jobs for teens with no experience in this world of ours, and obviously that's a nightmare. The critters are EVERYWHERE and there's nothing we can do. You begged us for this topic, over and over, every day, so here it is. Don't no one say we never did nothin' for nobody. POINTS OF INTEREST THIS WEEK INCLUDE: • Opposite Vibes • Teenage lemonade stand • Golf Cart: Tokyo Drift...

Take us out to the ballgame, babies! Buy us peanuts, but no Crackerjacks. And we would like to get back at some point. Root for your home team of course, and if they don't win, just drink a million ten cent beers and rush the field. POINTS OF INTEREST THIS WEEK INCLUDE: • Did you know Oracle made vacuums • 10c Beer Night • Please Google the Utah Jazz bear • Silly wickets and dumbass cricket ~ ~ ~...

Episode 69, nice POINTS OF INTEREST THIS WEEK INCLUDE: • McGrath bought a house, like an idiot • Literal window shopping • You are the law • Homeowners rool, landlords drool ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ (Holler atcha boys on  Twitter  and check out our  MERCH ) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/pri...

"Mama mia!!!!! You need-a da slice-a pizzeria?????" -- Ancient Italian proverb THE GENTS ARE TALKING PIZZA, so hunker down with an internet-less McGrath and an overserved Wabu. The Pineapple Boyz are here to tell their truth. POINTS OF INTEREST THIS WEEK INCLUDE: • Da toppings-a • Da cheese-a • Da sauce-a • Da dough-a ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ (Holler atcha boys on&n...

SOUPS! CURRIES! DRESSINGS! We don't know the meaning of any of these words, but we gave it our best. The Sons of Soup are here to talk Liquid Food so let's POWDER OUT with our CHOWDER OUT. POINTS OF INTEREST THIS WEEK INCLUDE: • Sardine candy canes • Dip slamming • The whitest meal • Sloppy Joe is curry ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ (Holler atcha boys on  Twitter &n...

How many friends you got? How'd you make them? Just kidding, don't tell us, keep your weird details to yourself. Join us this week for a couplea Prom Kings like ourselves dishing out advice on how to MAKE FRIENDS as though we know anything about it. POINTS OF INTEREST THIS WEEK INCLUDE: • British folk hero Davey Crockett • Jupiter singing • Strangers in Eataly • Don't put us in a pedal b...

Halloween might be over but things can still get SPOOKY SCARY when the lights go out, ya know? Do you turn into a pair of cartoon eyes in that situation, just blinking in the dark? Or do you build a pillow fort? This copy is absolutely nothing. Hope you're happy, SEO. POINTS OF INTEREST THIS WEEK INCLUDE: • McGrath bought a house • The power bandit is at large • Dorkus malorkus • Porch l...

Time to cozy up for those FALL VIBES, BABY! Order your caffeinated milkshake, grab a huge armchair, take a nap, we don't give a shit. The Coffee Shop rubric is here! POINTS OF INTEREST THIS WEEK INCLUDE: • Nog dogs • The round stuff • We will not watch your laptop • How do all the Friends always get that same couch spot ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ (Holler atcha bo...

The big day is COMING UP y'all, and we gonna be out here TRICKIN and TREATIN. You got your 'stume ready? You got your squad assembled? You believe we got this episode out in time to be even a little bit relevant? POINTS OF INTEREST THIS WEEK INCLUDE: • Prey on the rich • Prey on the weak • No turds ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ (Holler atcha boys on  Twitter &n...

PACK UP THE GEAR AND GET IN THE CAR WE GOIN CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMPING! Won't you join us? POINTS OF INTEREST THIS WEEK INCLUDE: • Second Opinion • Turbo Tent • Goo • Must Love Rocks ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ (Holler atcha boys on  Twitter  and check out our  MERCH ) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ See Privacy Policy at https://art19...

HOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYWOOD, WHERE THE STREETS ARE PAVED WITH GOLD ! We love movies, you love movies, Hollywood loves movies, and there is only one bestest place to see them: a fuhreakin' MOVIE THEATER, eh? Jabu's got the scoop for ya on how to do the movies right, so pop some kernels and zip your lids. POINTS OF INTEREST THIS WEEK INCLUDE: • The big ugly Q-Man • PeeBoyz • Hot dog cup • Popco...

WATCH THE SKIES for the truth is out there. You'd be a big dumb dummy to think we're alone in this crazy ole' mixed up universe of ours, so here's your foolproof guide to defend you from an #ALIUM #INVASION. And if you're Randy Quiad, frick off dude. POINTS OF INTEREST THIS WEEK INCLUDE: • JABU FLASHBACK: hunted by lion • Don't touch the goo • Juicy jacked • one-of-us-one-of-us-one-of-us...

They say CONVENIENCE IS NEXT TO GODLINESS, so let's talk about our favorite type of store, be it bodegas, liquor stores, or our one true king 7-Eleven. POINTS OF INTEREST THIS WEEK INCLUDE: • You should eat Subway while you drive • 7-Eleven eggy sal • Grab the bull by the horns • The disaster zone ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ (Holler atcha boys on  Twitte...

THERE WILL BE A TIME IN THE NEAR FUTURE THAT WE ARE BACK TO A NORMAL POSTING SCHEDULE, but it is not this day. It's time for just about the broadest of topics and that's THE INTERNET. The good, the bad, the early 2000s. Stay for the Newgrounds talk, leave for part where we say we miss Facebook events. POINTS OF INTEREST THIS WEEK INCLUDE: • Mostly just a bunch of stuff from when we were teenagers...

you, wrong: "They did fruit, they did desk, they must be completely out of ideas by now" us: "We did a Home Alone (not the movie) episode" SO AS YOU CAN SEE WE'RE BACK and wow writing these descriptions is becoming quite a chore. How do successful podcasters come up with this shit. Point is, we're talking HOME ALONE (NOT) (THE) (MOVIE) and all the nasty nasty sinful things you should be doing when...

How did we follow the EDGE-OF-YOUR-SEAT THRILLS of the Fruit episode, you ask? DESK, babies. We have desk, you have desk, everybody have desk and we don't know what it's like to have opinions and not share them with the internet. You doing some online desk shopping? The boyz have your back. POINTS OF INTEREST THIS WEEK INCLUDE: • Cutting board drawers • German desks: efficient, scary • Slurpi...

WE TOOK A BIG BREAK BUT WE'RE BACK NOW and we (Wabu) promise (feel good about) new episodes on a regular schedule. They say not to compare apples and oranges but THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE'RE DOING because the fruit episode has landed and we've got aaaaaaaaaaa-plenty to say. POINTS OF INTEREST THIS WEEK INCLUDE: • Oranges: are they worth it? • Cronch on the seeds • Raisins should be illegal • Dip...

OOPSIE POOPSIE, we took a little break but we're back in biz now, babies! This week we've got one of our absolute favorite human beans Johnny Stanton on the horn and the CAMP VIBES ARE ALIVE! We're talkin' Summer Camp, we're talkin' Adult Camp, and we're certainly talkin' bout fake-ass Space Camp. Put us in your ears!!!!!! POINTS OF INTEREST THIS WEEK INCLUDE: • Heroes & villains • The good mi...

WE'RE BACK, we're pumped, and we got a guest, so ~please keep your arms and legs inside the carts ~ for this one cause it's gonna be a ~ bumpy ~ ride! Jacob Rubin 's on the horn this week and the boy is a bona fide Disneyland expert, once again proving that Jabu really doesn't bring much to the table. Enjoy the THEME PARK episode, baby!!!! (It's mostly Disneyland) (If you've got a problem with it...