Jerk Practice

We’re going sixty on this one, but ain’t no need to count the minute-miles,or watch Schindler’s List in your head, cuz it’s a good’n.   Join the JERKS in the Cantina at Mos-Dakota on Watooine, as they discuss spiders, spell checks, and “ouu would you look at that combine! That’s a million plus” … sorry got distracted… and dad’s loving a good piece of equipment.   “How long is it going to...

Put down the booze and pick up those DEWS cuz the JERKS are UP ALL NIGHT with this one.   Prepare yourself for Hustler Presents: The Glass Stool Cast; Featuring Horny and Lena (AKA Hans and Casey breakdown a religious Mountain Dew Cast) Enjoy guys! No seriously we mean GUYS! ONLY GUYS! This is a GUY’S GUY podcast for GUYS who like GUYS, GUYS!   “Are you there God? It’s me DEW.”   “G...

Shoe House or No Shoe House; it don’t matter to these JERKS. Cuz you’re all invited to this Lutheran Met Gala!   Listen in to the “G Rated Nightmare” of podcast episodes: H and C are talkin’ Glen Holland, one of the great villains of cinema, “fakie cuts,” and Butterfaces with Hot Bods (spoilers: It’s Hans!)     “She’s too gristly for me. She’s all shoulder injury. But no, she’s beau...

The JERKS are giving out cokes to creatures and taking names (mainly “Joans” and “Joanie’s”)   In classic fashion, the JERKS hit all the topics: Joan’s, Joanie’s, Tone’s, Tony’s, Tony Johnnie’s, and of course “Dookie Love!”   “Inca Kola smells like Grandpa Joe!”   “Joanie is a boy’s name.”   “Joan is a man’s name.”   #IrishPrideParade #Joan #Joanie #Beefed #Chiseled

If you take one thing away from this week’s episode, let it be this: “Beaches are for Maniacs, and Swirls are for Suckers!”   Listen in as the JERKS discuss the weakness of wacky wedding photos, “Fun Dip: Oops! All Sticks!,” and why poor people’s favorite food is popcorn.”   “He might as well be a human joint.”   “I’m coming in $not.”   #Guzzler #LittleNif & #BigZinc #Featu...

Don those vegan minks Jerks, cuz this one’s brought to you by Queen Bey and the Pant-Ays!   Listen in is the JERKS list Anaerobic’s Syndrome, invent the Rodeo Buckle Hat™, and why their boots are always lousy with panties…   “It’s barely been two episodes since we talked about Alf.”   “Alf! No beers!”   #SoftOpen

Crack those sweet World War I flavored sodas, and check your palms for tears cuz this one is salty… The JERKS are talkin’ human meat versus horse meat, Karl Baboonsram, and how pipe-layers make their paychecks (wink)   “The caustic oil from my body are ruining this machinery!”   “It’s got a naked grandmother on the front and it’s called ‘Tony’s Boy.’”   “My wife don’t fart, she f$#%...

If you identify as lefse, then this episode is for you!   Ole’s in the outhouse inside the kitchen, Lena loves left handed lutefisk, and Enoch only EATS SAUSAGE MADE FROM THE HORN OF THE METATRON!   “We’re like an ant insulting a foot.”   “If I’m getting’ paid, I’m shittin’ in my own house.”   “We’re doing the lefse-belt baby!”   #HornSausage “WaitingForOle

Holey Schmagoley! Captain Cotter’s ghost made sure that this episode is “Oops! All Bronx.”   Welcome to the Crag Show! Staring such topics as questionable Cousin Fratelli’s, Wig n’ Hat shows starring over the hill middling sketch comics, and Vietnamese briefs.   “He blew 9-11 down his throat!”   “Oh right, well… he buried Kel.”   #TravoltaThreeSurgence

Come join the Kampeska Lake Snakes for Episode 250!   It’s all Yoga in Jeans this week as the JERKS talk throwing cigarettes at fish, making your parents do your paper route, and how some South Dakota idiot recited his multiplication tables instead of the Lord’s Prayer…   “I’ll put medicine on my Wendy’s and eat it.”   “Do a downward dog ya hog!”   #NoLubricant

Before you listen in, make sure you have a loved one “stick a glove up your butt-hole and smell your neck.”   It’s been too shlong but H is now back up and running as an Astorian KIng so look out for the episodes to get NY heavy, NY crazy, and I’m sure NY grumpy before long enough.   This week The JERKS are talkin’ Digital Malts™, working 9 to Zunar, and Casey’s Book of Negated Records ™...

“Hey Goobers what’s going on?” is what we be like in today’s episode…   The JERKS are dads and they don’t care who knows it! They’re talkin’ greasin’ lawn with hair creams, Nike Pebbles, and the joys of comin’ home and gettin’ in yer oily’s.   “Look at the part on that Van Heel lawn.”   Baby We Made the Ants Big!   #WatertownWeirdos

Listen in as the JERKS talk digital handshakes, front jowls, and “The Dutch Trilogy”   If you take one thing away from this episode - don’t slight Dr. Toilet on his garbage…   “You can’t shit a shitster.”   “Cover that gut with a high pant!”   #SurfsUp #SheetGut

This week the JERKS are talkin’ the Ultimate Jerk (and not a good one like how we are - this guy’s a piece of shit)   The X has gone out of our lives this week as we talk mortal enemies, soft pretzels, and beers at Salty Mikes.   “It’s like a crow dipped its feet in paint and danced on my face”   #Mangle

This just in: Home Depot - Listed Old France - Listed James Cromwell - Double Listed   Oh, the JERKS also talk compression flange galvanizors. Enjoy!   “Who’s the worst offender?” “Home Depot.” “There ya go.”   “France is groovy, but their king is weirder though.”   #BookBroke

This week the JERKS give you an aural prostate exam in search of comedy polyps!   Take your saw palmetto pills, cuz the jerks are talkin’ cool riffs and bangin’ gifs…   “Leave the money on the dresser you son of a bitch.”   “Southfork - The Twitter of strip-clubs.”   #AmericanOutragePills

Listen in as the JERKS explain why “everything is monkey, and everything is candy baby!”   Partake in Part I as we talk Cherry Coke ransomed notes, Nazi K-Mart’s free mugs, and how thin the Soup President’s broth really was…   “I said jouked!”   “Twitter is the Talking Toilet of the Internet.”   “Ike spit that nickel out!”   #Figures

Time to put your carrots on the meat slicer JERKS cuz this ep. GOES LBJ ALL THE WAY!   Everybody gag, everybody gag, everybody “Gag-Loose!” And also talk Arizona Watermelon Drinks, self identifying bodies of water, and James Garfield Phones™   “You know me and my love of 1920’s Broadway.”   “Brought to you by Big Drink and Big Church.”   #Old #They #River

Give a big JERK welcome to our brother Pete, BUT don’t look Frank Langella or Tony Sacka Organs in the eyes!   Listen in as the Jerks talk table games, sauce bags, and of course, SaloonDoors.com™   “If I were a weather, what would I be?”   “Don’t say Mexican Cokes, say Spanish.”   “It’s the heroin of crack…opium.”   #Smokes #Smut   Thank you Pete - We love you and the...

The JERKS weigh in on chocolates from Gump, pearlies V. Squirrelies, Lyle the Lizard Robado and his Gila Monster Kevin. Yeah skunks, it’s time for some Church Candy Wrestling angles!   Ranch dips, you could be my fantasy I can tell you got BIG RANCH ENERGY Ain’t too many spreads that can handle me Maybe if pizza’s in front of me Make it drizzle on my dizzle like a creamery The ranch ain’t rig...

If “Han Solo is your Brolo”™ than this episode is for you!   Remember when Dennis Franz slapped Chuck Norris at the TV Oscars? When Buck Morris fought King Tut in Omega Shove III ? Or when Ice T besmirched Cube while promoting his new line of Lutheran Oat Holes? No? Well you’re about to! So buckle up and taste our boots rookie!   “Is Chuck Norris a Lutheran?”   “Oh, it’s just V...

Alec Baldwin, Kurt Russell, and Chuck Norris walk into a pod… And they all try out for the role of quarterback in “Deep Throat 9: Goin’ Deep”   Welcome to our horny nightmare, as we discuss leather, grease, and why Chuck Norris is the non alcoholic of beers*.   “that barbwire was so extra!”   “One football field, one dil, all glory.”   *Thank you Ash for being our amazing quiz-...

Remember Jerks, “The whiter your wigs, the higher your boots.”   Get re-exposed to the Jerk Practice Podcast as they discuss 99¢ store medicine, horny Buchanan, and how Target wants to Beatle your Boots…   “Show us your ankles Obama!”   “Nothing beats that lead turd.”   “#Thankful #Grateful #Blessed

This ep. Is “All Face and No Brain-Space!”   We’re squatting on the squatter, as we talk Beatle Boots, Butt-holes, and the illusive Russian Long-haired Eagle…   “That’s it? They don’t have to eat the car?”   “If you do it, you know you’re going to have to show your butt-hole.”   #TheFlabFive

Do you have what it takes JP WARRIORS!?!   Boom Boom Schneider Flex Dundee Big Money Mister Serpent Jack Toxic Mansculitity Tony Saucy Saucy Sewer Captain Killer The Exceptional Soldier Hunky Stylist Brit Bite Crow Alphabet 8 to the 3rd Remington Rex Succulent Sam Sass Big French Silver Shavings Northern Jorge The Southern Saw Bart the cardiac assassin The Pessimistics Pluto Ruby Houston Shee...