Jake Yapp presents: Not Today, Thank You

Headers are to be not-exactly-banned in football, news about what Trump's chefs try to hide in his mashed potato, and Amol Rajan talks about SEX in a completely chill way. Plus more celebrity encounters. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Friends is coming back! Which is weird, since the careers of everyone involved have been going so well. Plus Dominic Cummings needs a new SPAD-wrangler, and Dora Dale answers your... intimate... problems... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dominic Cummings' latest schemes - not eugenicky, nope, not at all. We have our TGI Flyday Fly Of The Week with Dr Erica McAlister from the Natural History Museum, and Dora Dale and Martin Kelner have a rummage around Richard Whiteley's boudoir in a rare bit of archive. Have a lovely weekend! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Andrew Marr chit-chats to Priti Patel about the new immigration procedure, plus John Kay's flood reportage analysed, and ok FINE some Jaffa Cake News. You people make me sick. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Richard Dawkins started talking about eating meat cultured from Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall on Twitter yesterday. Well, not exactly. But. Whose would YOU eat? Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the nation's favourite Prince - Andrew! The bells will be ringing, apparently. Plus, a mercifully-innocuous story from backstage at Top of the Pops. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dominic Cummings' special forecaster has been fired, sorry, resigned, after some special theories got expounded, and there was YET ANOTHER LABOUR LEADERS' DEBATE Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Plus! A new feature! Showbiz Fix! Fun! Flirty! Foul! And other stuff. Sorry this showed up so late in your feed. We've had technical nightmares, but we're up and running again now... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sajid Javid makes amends with Dominic 'Be-'Cummings, we reveal this week's Turn Of Phrase, synaesthesia, self-help books, and the amazing Dr Erica McAlister from the Natural History Museum kicks off our TGI Flydays. Follow her! @flygirl Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's cabinet reshuffle day, and our robot minister gives us a unique insight into the behaviour of these strange creatures. Plus Rory Stewart's 500 nights in strangers' beds, and what to say in Dutch if you don't want to get shot. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dominic Cummings' take on a children's favourite, plus Amol Rajan on the new role of Ofcom in regulating The Whole Of The Internet (good luck everyone) and today's square is revealed in Turn of Phrase. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The windrush flight took off this morning, HS2's been approved, and life is just so jolly and fun. So to cheer us up, I'm launching the new podcast gameshow. 'TURN OF PHRASE' - Can YOU guess the turn of phrase behind the boxes? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Featuring Olivia Coleman positively GUSHING, Leo Varadkar on the Irish election, and the Diary of Fraser Nelson, part two... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

PLUS: Percentages explained further, by ace listeners Sam, David and Jem. Have a lovely weekend, and have a look at patreon.com/nottodaypod to find out more about the show, and STUFF YOU CAN GET! x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

AKA Fun Things To Do To Public Services With An 80-Strong Majority. Also, fashion statements with Geremy Wine, the coolest thing about percentages you will EVER LEARN, and, damn you all, Jaffa Cake News. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trump gave his state of the union address last night, and Nancy Pelosi managed not to use the bucket. Also, BBC Four did Life Drawing, and we have an exclusive snippet of Rory Stewart's new podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

#KnifeFree Chicken, Boris Johnson's curative approach to crime, a new podcast from John Major and Tony Blair, BBC1 HD idents, and why The British Press is Actually Ace. Morning! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Also featuring the Cirque Du Soleil's incredible performance at the BAFTA awards last night, and just some of the superb writings that Brexit has inspired in lovers of TRUE FREEDOM EVERYWHERE NO NEED FOR ALL THEM EUROPEAN COMMAS ANY MORE MATE. Also! You can now support the show at www.patreon.com/nottodaypod - check out the perks! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, that's that, then. Brexit Got Done. Also, a song about shiny suits. Let's all hide under the duvet for a bit. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Northern Rail has lost its franchise, and quite a lot of taxpayers' money, too. LET'S CRUNCH SOME NUMBERS ON THAT GUYS. And Amol Rajan provides some fantastic analysis of the 80 million in cuts to BBC News. And of extremely rare Audis. Plus, Things You Did in 48 Hours. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why can't you just agree to this deal I made for myself? God, you're so selfish. Plus, get to know a modern-day political banter legend, with a profile of a very, very sexy MEP. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Box sets! Video calls! And oh yeah absolutely no security. Comes to something when you find yourself siding with Jeremy Hunt. Also: Satanists are big fans of Trump's Personal Pastor, some potentially very cool CO2 news, a new BBC2 series with a dishy Generic Scottish Bloke, and where it all went wrong for Trumpton. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Featuring Chris Packham and the gang presenting Right Wing Watch, a brief hello from Naz and Scooby, the new Brexit Coin, and wardrobe malfunctions... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the 50th show! And we are celebrating in style with Rory Stewart giving us a soulful song about trees, why I am not keen on Alexander Armstrong's beliefs, and a special guest appearance of Metal Kids' Show Theme-Manglers, Slay Duggee - follow them on Twitter @SlayDuggee. Have a good weekend! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Featuring the House of Lords, and how it's doing in Yorkshire, your wardrobe mishaps, and a fun new thread - what TV shows have theme tunes better than the actual show...? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

BUCK. BUCK Trump. In the 25th Century. Wait, 26th. Too late now. Also, a joyless new sitcom for BBC Radio 4, and one listener gives Bagpuss one hell of a going over. It's brilliant. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.