Jake Yapp presents: Not Today, Thank You

Gregg Wallace takes us on a tour. Plus a music lesson, a royal catchup and David's Puzzle of the Day. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A modicum of good news for you this morning - rapid technological development of a new CPAP machine to aid coronavirus patients. Plus a dancing lesson, things to do with your unwanted beanwater, and more of your blasted Jaffa Cake News. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

And other things that will have absolutely no effect whatsoever on the coronavirus. Plus, From Our Madrid Correspondent aka My Brother Joe, and TGI Flyday buzzes round again, with Dr Erica McAlister. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Despite Rishi Sunak's pledge to find a solution for the self-employed, the building sites remain open. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

...The first one being, Don't Go To A Building Site In The Middle Of A Pandemic. PLUS: our inaugural Foreign Correspondent, an RE lesson in our NTTY Home School, which doesn't go well, and the webular debut of the thirty-year-old cassette of a band called GOOSE Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're in safe hands. Caring hands. The caring hands of 'not a feminist' Dominic Raab. Sorry ladies. Looks like he's a man's man. In the NTTY Home School, we're learning Spanish today, and there's a new jingle for #ShowUsYourDrawers Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The millionaires who can't stop winning, even when everyone else is losing. And the Not Today, Thank You Home School is officially OPEN. Plus Patrick Moore's Feline Airlock, and how to win at virtual house parties. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

To-day we are go-ing to the shops. Mum-my wants to buy some bread. Dad-dy wants to buy some whi-sky. He is go-ing to have a right old ding-dong with the man who got the last bot-tle. Plus TGI Flyday with Dr Erica McAlister and the reveal of this week's Turn Of Phrase TM. Have a lovely weekend! . Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today: Amol on Eastenders and Question Time, how to (and how not to) broadcast remotely, and, with self-isolation fever kicking in, we get bored and look inside each other's drawers... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today: Insurers startle everyone, sorry, not a living soul, Boris Johnson answers tough (multiple choice) questions, and we continue our quest for the perfect way to load a dishwasher. Plus some comic comfort on the coronavirus front. And some GOOD NEWS. I promise. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Looking at everybody's response to Covid-19 - the government, the media, and us. Plus some silly games to play and a magnificent bout of civic flatulence to make us all feel better because at least we weren't that mayor who left his radio mic on when he went to the bathroom... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today! Coronavirus stuff officially stops being funny, ventilation production steps up, fun ways to make your own drinkable hand sanitiser, and our fun game show Turn of Phrase returns - with a twist! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Amol Rajan takes you on a Portillo-style train journey to Salford, while the Natural History Museum's Dr Erica McAlister has Fun with Flies. And Sir Ian Bowler MP talks about the Coronavirus, and his government's response. Plus Sajid Javid Dog News. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today: Boxing, Rishi Sunak's Budget Debut, Sport Relief, BeeGees Facts, and What To Do With All Your Excess Toilet Paper. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

GUYS! HOT Phillip Schofield goss! WE LOVE IT. Plus a lovely baked potato addition to Newsnight and some Bee Gees Facts. Have a lovely day! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

...so said Boris Johnson yesterday, and we have the remix. Also: Radio Three, Steve Backshall, Bee Gee Facts, coronavirus, obviously, and more of your CONFOUNDED JAFFA CAKE NEWS DAMN YOU Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today: Coronavirus lols, Princess Meghan and her new admirer, new MBEs, and DA-DA-DA-DARRRRR; ANDREW MARR. It is NICE TO BE BACK. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today! Jeremy Hunt! Crufts! And more dipteralols with Lady of the Flies, Dr Erica McAlister... Have a good weekend! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lolsy coronavirus news for you, plus the #skullbreakerchallenge, Jaffa Cake News, and another <mumbles> intimate problem resolved for Dora Dale... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The secret of French comedy, Things You Find In AirBnBs, Super Tuesday, Julian Assange, and some random cows. LOVE YOU xxx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This might not be for everybody. It's a half-hour-long potted autobiography, filled with self-indulgent sentimentality, positively wallowing in middle-class, first-world angst, and deserving of your contempt. Maybe skip this one. Actually, definitely. But it DOES explain What I Am Doing In France. And there is quite a funny sketch about cake decorating. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for m...

Hello, chers amis. Welcome to France. Something of a soft launch to the week, as I was soft-launching quite a lot last night. But, in this succinct little episode: Clare Balding, Gene Kelly, The Prince oLa La Land, Rory Stewart and Mo Farrah... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jacob Rees-Mogg is happy to slum it with Walkers' crisps, apparently. Also, Amol Rajan on what comedy to watch, Dr Erica McAlister on pollinating flies, and we reveal the answers to this week's challenges. Have a lovely weekend! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

More funny made-up words from Your Government, Fanny made-up recipes from Fanny Cradock, and game shows and pets and loads of stuff too disparate to list here. Why not have a listen? It's FREE! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Here's something a bit different. I thought I'd give it a go, since it was in my head and maddening me a little. An exciting new drama, set six months into the future... Let me know what you think! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.