It’s Not About the Sex

Andrew’s latest release The It’s Not About the Sex Workbook: Moving from Isolation to Intimacy after Sexual Compulsivity (Routledge Press, 2024) is now available for purchase on Amazon, and he and Sue wanted to take this opportunity to explore Andrew’s journey with his three books from 2004 to 2024. Andrew shares the opportunities and challenges that go along with the writing process and the publi...

At this time of unrest in the world, it’s even more important to focus our attention on lovingkindness toward self and others. Adapted from a meditation developed by the Mindfulness Awareness Research Center (MARC) at UCLA, this timely exercise provides an opportunity to carve out some time to cultivate the love and kindness within.

We welcome Dr. Tom Murray, author of Making Nice with Naughty which explores the intricate dynamics of self-control and its impact on sexual and intimate relationships. During this provocative conversation, issues related to the over-controlled temperament, monogamy and the wanting vs. willing dynamic in sexual relationships are explored fully. Tune into this very relevant and overlooked theme. Mu...

Adapted from Jack Canfield’s book The Success Principles, this visioning exercise gives you an opportunity to envision the coming year without limiting yourself. By examining the seven areas he developed, this will invite you to open the aperture to the limitless possibilities ahead of you. It’s not that anything has to happen, but simply what could happen –   Dr. Sam Foster Music Credit: Neil Fre...

Mellissa McCracken is a trauma informed substance abuse counselor working in an acute treatment setting in Los Angeles. In this episode we explore consensual non-monogamy, polyamory, and open relationships all in the context of sexual recovery and more. Mellissa brings her expertise and wisdom within the LGBTQI+ community into this valuable conversation. Please join us to learn more about these of...

Andrew and Sue offer an abundance of tips to help navigate the 2023- 2024 holidays and beyond. Borrowed from Andrew’s new book, The It’s Not About the Sex Workbook (Routledge Press, February 2023), these tips are part of the practices outlined at the end of his workbook. Take a listen and try out a few tips that resonate for you.

Porn has inadvertently become a form of sex education in our culture, but it’s actually entertainment. Diane Gleim is a psychotherapist as well as a certified sex therapist who brings her seasoned perspective and wisdom to this often-misunderstood topic. In this conversation she helps us explore the ambiguity of porn, the suspension of disbelief, moral incongruence as well as erotic conflicts. Joi...

How often do we forget to simply breathe? Listen to this guided meditation as an opportunity to take stock of your breath non-judgmentally and with curiosity. In this brief exercise you will build body and breath awareness and see where this moment of relaxation may take you. This exercise has been modified from a meditation originally developed by the Mindfulness Awareness Research Center (MARC)...

In this episode we welcome psychotherapist, sex therapist, author and trainer, Michael Vigorito as we discuss the motivation for change through a sexual health lens. He is the co-author of Treating Out of Control Sexual Behavior: Rethinking Sex Addiction with Douglas Braun-Harvey, a refreshing, non- pathologizing and research-based text. Take a listen to this informative sexual health conversation...

In this episode Andrew and Sue examine the differences between clinical depression, seasonal mood changes and generalized sadness. Depression sometimes shows up side-by-side with sexual compulsivity, but how do you know how to tackle these complicated issues? Listen to the many ways that depression manifests and some practical tips you can try at home.

In this episode we welcome Klifton Fehr, a counselor based in South Florida who works extensively within the corporate sector as a coach and trainer. With a focus on inspirational influences, we explore the many directions mental health and group therapy has taken him through the years. Learn about the differences between counseling and coaching as well as the avenues he continues to develop. Visi...

Andrew and Sue take a look at the past five years since the original book It’s Not About the Sex was born. In this episode Andrew reveals the big news about his companion workbook to be released in the Spring of 2024 (Routledge Press, New York City). We discuss the evolution of thinking that has accompanied this process as well as the many influences of this latest project. Listen to this lively r...

This episode features psychotherapist and spiritual seeker, Claudia Lewis, LMFT as we discuss her recent provocative book entitled Happy, Silly, Wise: Creating a Magical Life in Challenging Times. Themes such as “not enough-ness”, human being vs. human doing, letting go of seriousness and cultivating creativity are just some of the topics explored. Contact Claudia at www.claudialewistherapy.com .

In this meditation we focus on the possibility of holding both pleasant and unpleasant feelings/ sensations simultaneously. Borrowed from the Mindful Awareness Research Center (MARC) at UCLA, this mindfulness exercise allows you to feel your capacity to hold whatever life has to offer you. For more information and mindfulness resources, visit www.marc.ucla.edu .

As a bilingual, bicultural clinician, Dr. Carlos Canales comes to us from Des Moines, Iowa with an open heart and a clinical wisdom that transcends traditional recovery. In this stimulating conversation, he discusses the “many necessary recoveries” every person needs to engage in for well-being. With an emphasis on the vulnerability and courage it takes to seek growth in recovery, Dr. Canales offe...

In this episode Andrew and Sue explore the Window of Resilience, originally coined by Dr. Dan Siegel as the Window of Tolerance. Building somatic awareness is part of long-term, sustainable recovery, and this descriptive diagram illuminates the contrast between regulation and dysregulation. Learn simple strategies to move toward resilience and embodiment including conscious breathing, grounding, o...

In this episode we welcome Nate Larkin, founder of a mutual aid society for Christian Men called the Samson Society and co-host of two podcasts, The Pirate Monk and the Positive Sobriety Podcast. Nate brings his salt-of-the-earth approach to 12 step recovery as we discuss the movement from isolation, loneliness, and resistance to humility, intimacy and deeper connection. Don’t miss this open-heart...

Andrew returned from his annual pilgrimage to the American Group Psychotherapy Association (AGPA) conference feeling well-fed and fortified with the love around him. AGPA has become a staple of love for both Andrew’s professional and personal life so tune in to learn more about how “receiving love” is a necessary component of long-term sustainable recovery. Andrew and Sue explore the ways love is...

In this episode Mariya Javed-Payne, LICSW visits with us from her program located in Eden Prairie, Minnesota. Not only does she share valuable and comprehensive information about healing from ritualized self-soothing activities but she also embodies a  heart-centered, relationship-focused approach.  Mariya is a Brainspotting trainer as well as owner of Awaken Consulting Services and co-owner of In...

Susskind and Merlino explore the sacred nature of men’s therapy groups and the lasting benefits such as shame resilience, self-compassion, empathy and emotional risk-taking just to name a few. Listen to this episode and learn how men’s groups can be a catalyst for sustainable healing from both addiction and trauma recovery.

Practical Psychotherapist Joni Lavick, LMFT joins us today on the podcast as we discuss Assets-based Therapy and The Elusive Nature of Feeling Good About Yourself. In this episode, Joni walks us through the correlation between Attachment and Addictions and also illuminates what she calls assets-based therapy. Tune in to this refreshing, positive conversation regarding sustainable addiction recover...

The Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu visited together for five days in 2015 resulting in a book and a documentary developed from their conversations of inspiration and wisdom. Andrew and Sue discuss the profound nature of their brief visit and the depth of their spiritual leadership. In this episode we try to capture just a little bit of the joy and compassion that were exuded in this extraordinary fil...

Andrew leads you through a personal favorite, a Visioning exercise adapted from Jack Canfield’s book The Success Principles. It’s not about getting caught in the “supposed to’s” or what others think is best for you. Instead, it’s an opportunity for soul-searching and expansiveness as you consider the limitless possibilities ahead of you. As you listen to this guided visioning exercise, you’ll crea...

In this New Year’s episode Andrew and Sue discuss the Visioning exercise originally developed by Jack Canfield. Playing with the possibilities, asking yourself what you truly want and desire and giving yourself the freedom to unlock your twelve-month vision. Often utilized by coaches, visioning allow you to take a closer look at where you are and where you want to be in the future. Join this energ...

Today we welcome Dr. Martha Koo, Board Certified in Psychiatry and Addiction Medicine, who describes the treatment of depression with Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS). Dr. Koo shares the history and current usage of TMS with patients who have not responded effectively with antidepressants or ECT. This cutting-edge approach is a best-kept secret in the mental health field so don’t miss this...