It’s Not About the Sex

Learn to meet your struggles with kindness through this gentle meditation developed by Chris Germer and Kristin Neff. This practice guides you through working with a moderately stressful situation in your life, whether it's a health concern, relationship difficulty, or work pressure, using the three pillars of self-compassion: mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness.

A tender, contemplative meditation adapted from Joan Halifax's work that gently guides you through the difficult terrain of loss and sorrow. This practice invites you to sit with your grief compassionately, using reflective phrases to open to pain, find inner resources, and practice self-forgiveness for things left undone or unmet needs. Rather than avoiding or rushing through grief, this meditati...

We all experience loss in one form or another throughout life. In this mindfulness meditation we will focus on grief and loss as opportunities to live with loss rather than “getting over it.” Check it out and see how grief can be your teacher.

After 6 years, 128 episodes and 60 guests, the podcast is winding down. It’s a bittersweet moment to say goodbye and to express gratitude to everyone involved in this collaborative experience. Although the podcast is ending, it will be available indefinitely on most platforms as well as www.westsidetherapist.com. Andrew and Sue thank all of you from the bottom of their hearts, and don’t forget, to...

In Chapter 10 of Andrew’s workbook he investigates sexual health through a non- pathologizing, destigmatizing lens. Themes include: defining sexual health, reviving pleasure and fantasy as an ally. This candid conversation takes a look at the intersection of 12 step recovery and sexual health as we open up a larger dialogue to exploring your authentic sexual self. Give yourself a few minutes to li...

In this episode we turn the tables on our podcast producer, Sue Merlino to discuss her services called Clear Pathways. With a combination of coaching and organizing one’s physical space, Sue describes the valuable benefits to all of us, including those struggling with addiction or emotional challenges. In addition to walking clients through organizational skills, Sue also provides time management...

If you scratch the surface of compulsive sexual behavior, you’ll find intimacy avoidance. In this powerful episode, Susskind and Merlino look through the lens of attachment as they discuss the challenges and opportunities related to truly receiving love in recovery. With a focus on avoidant and anxious attachment styles they discuss the often-misunderstood term love addiction as well as the possib...

In this podcast we welcome Stefanie Klein, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, NARM Master Therapist, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and Consultant based in Los Angeles who shares a refreshing take on shame through the lens of the Neuro-Affective Relational Model (NARM). You will learn about shame as a verb rather than an emotion and how it functions as an adaptive process. Because shame is univ...

Following the subjects from Chapter 8 in The It’s Not About the Sex Workbook, Andrew and Sue explore themes of long-term recovery including purpose, spirituality and legacy—all in the context of Positive Psychology and deeper soul-searching. How do spirituality, religion and purpose intersect with one another? Or not? Asking the bigger questions and staying away from exact answers is where the int...

Tim Harrington, founder of Family Coaching Services joins the podcast as he addresses the following topics: building a meaningful life post-recovery, especially by emphasizing healthy relationships, self-discovery and aligning actions with deeper values. Based on a depth of personal and professional experience, Tim offers practical steps for creating a more satisfying and purposeful recovery as we...

In this episode we take a closer look at Chapter 7 of Andrew’s workbook and examine some of the essential ingredients of contentment including gratitude, connection and unconditional love. Distinctions are made among the terms joy, happiness and contentment as we discuss core values, visioning and purposeful goals. Listen to this optimistic episode as you choose to enhance contentment in your life...

Rafael Cortina, a San Diego-based therapist joins the podcast to discuss some of his valuable and wise perspectives on healing from addictive, compulsive behaviors. He shares the following themes: the functional understanding of addiction, the interwoven nature of trauma and addiction, the necessity of curiosity from both the therapist and client as well as “relational space healing”. Check out th...

During this conversation Andrew and Sue take a deeper dive into Chapter Six Feeling the Feelings from The It’s Not About the Sex Workbook. Maybe it looks simple on the surface, but Andrew highlights the sustainable benefits of deeper emotional awareness and expression. With an emphasis on anger, hurt, fear and loneliness, we explore the feelings language that is often missed in childhood. Take a l...

In this episode we welcome Katie Griffin, a nationally-recognized group consultant and leader in the field. She brings her passion and enthusiasm to other practitioners and believes firmly in the power of group to help individuals become more fully alive. In this candid and revealing conversation Katie takes a closer look at sexual identity development in sustainable recovery as a portal to deeper...

Andrew and Sue discuss Chapter Five, Regulating the Nervous System from Andrew’s recent workbook. Beginning with a memoir snapshot and ending with practical strategies and action steps, they explore the following themes: following the rhythm within, identifying regulation and dysregulation, utilizing the Window of Resilience, and naming attachment styles and how they correlate with nervous system...

In this episode we welcome Dr. David Fawcett, a clinical social worker, sex therapist and two-time author specializing in chemsex and problematic sexualized drug use. Often a misunderstood form of suffering, David disentangles the complexities of these intertwined behaviors. With effective clinical strategies and decades of experience, David helps us understand a path to recovery based on a clear,...

Today’s episode focuses on Chapter Four of Andrew’s workbook as we explore the healthier side of narcissism, other-centeredness, generosity of spirit as well as longing and belonging. Beneath narcissism is broken heartedness so tune in to understand the deeper healing and trajectory from this complicated survival strategy.

In this episode we welcome Arnold McCuller, interventionist and recovery coach based in Southern California. Learn about his extensive career working as a professional vocalist which has taken a later-in-life shift toward interventions for those in the entertainment industry and beyond. Arnold can be reached at www.arnoldmcculler.com .   Music credit: Neil Freebern Freebernmusic.com

Today we welcome Jean Campbell, the CEO of Action Institute of California to talk with us about psychodrama, sociometry, resourcing, and Somatic Experiencing—all in the context of compulsive sexual behavior, addictions in general as well as trauma. With 30 years of expertise, Jean brings together groups of people to heal from their broken-heartedness. She can be reached at www.theactioninstitute.c...

In this episode we examine Chapter Three of Andrew’s workbook as we encourage curiosity and non-judgment about shame. Although shame never goes away entirely, you can respond to it differently. In this discussion we explore the following: building shame resiliency, taming the inner critic and practicing mindful self-compassion. Tune in to see how shame can be normalized and diminished in your life...

On today’s episode we warmly welcome back clinical psychologist Joni Lavick, who is a seasoned expert on attachment theory and its applications. In this informative conversation we cover the following: the history of attachment theory, misconceptions, how to understand your own patterns, and the correlation between attachment strategies and addictive behaviors and more. Please tune in to this user...

Grief and loss is often overlooked or avoided in our society. Andrew and Sue take this opportunity to delve into this often-misunderstood topic of grief and loss and its implications on long-term recovery from sexual compulsivity. Andrew shares a “memoir snapshot” as well as specific practices to consider using toward living more peacefully and openheartedly with the inevitable losses that come wi...

In this intimate conversation, Jen Davis takes us on a journey that most of us avoid. From her own transformative experiences with grief, Jen shares the curiosity, the wonder and the ultimate path to living a fuller life. Through a lens of self-compassion, honesty and forgiveness we explore the limitless possibilities and challenges that go along with grief recovery. Co-collaborating with grief an...

Today’s episode featuring Andrew and Sue focuses on Emotional Resilience, the lead chapter of Andrew’s workbook. In the original book, the first chapter explored Emotional Sobriety, but the word resilience is more aligned with Andrew’s current focus on regulating the nervous system. This episode kicks off a monthly spotlight on each workbook chapter.   Music credit: Neil Freebern Freebernmusic.com

Today’s episode is Sexual Recovery: From a Nightmare to a Love Story. We welcome Steve Wolt, founder of Valor Recovery, a peer-based recovery coaching and support system to help men overcome porn abuse, sexual compulsivity and intimacy challenges. By discussing the promises of sexual recovery, Steve offers hope and inspiration to his clients and our listeners. He shares the differences among coach...