It's Not About the Alcohol

Are you overwhelmed and exhausted by your everyday life…and also constantly worried because you're not doing "enough?"   Most type-A, hyper-functioning people-pleasers think that the only solution to burnout is push through it … the idea of slowing down feels ridiculous and irresponsible.    And so your life feels like a Groundhog Day Marathon. You force yourself to smile despite your growing sens...

What do you do when it feels like your life is falling apart and your best efforts to practice self-care aren't enough?   Feeling out of control is so frustrating…especially when you're doing all the right things. You know you're in a trauma response but you can't pull out on your own.    You're nagging at your people, dropping the ball, and beating yourself up for not being able to snap out of it...

Have you ever noticed that the more you try to restrict your food or alcohol intake, the more obsessed you become with what you think you can't have?   We declare war on The Craving. The sweet tooth. The pasta and bread. The nightly cocktail.    Because we think the opposite of gluttony is deprivation. So we over-correct with an all-or-nothing, black and white strategy. We're either "on the wagon"...

Are you tired of being tired all of the time?   Most of us think that insomnia is something we have to live with. We blame stress, hormones and snoring spouses… and then rely on caffeine and under-eye concealer to drag ourselves through the day.   But living in a persistent sleep deficit leads to burnout and overwhelm, and eventually chronic physical and mental health problems. The quality of your...

Have you struggled with anxiety, depression, disordered eating and drinking, and a lack of purpose-driven joy in your life?   The mistake most of us make is to assume that our inability to function like a "normal person" means that something is wrong…like dysfunctional brain chemistry, a screwed-up personality or a lack of motivation and discipline..   And so we do our best to fix, hide, cope and...

What if the primary reason you feel tired and stuck is that you're leaking energy due to overthinking and emotional distress?    Most of us assume that stagnancy means something is either wrong in our body or in our life (or both).   So we load up on coffee, rely on alcohol to reduce stress and binge-watch Netflix…hoping we'll bounce back as soon as whatever's wrong gets figured out.    We discuss...

What if the primary reason you feel tired and stuck is that you're leaking energy due to overthinking and emotional distress?    Most of us assume that stagnancy means something is either wrong in our body or in our life (or both).   So we load up on coffee, rely on alcohol to reduce stress and binge-watch Netflix…hoping we'll bounce back as soon as whatever's wrong gets figured out.    We discuss...

Are you doing the best you can to stay healthy and be happy, but your body (and maybe your whole life) seems to be falling apart anyway?   We search for information about our symptoms. And go from doctor to doctor looking for a diagnosis. Because we need to feel validated…to know we're not crazy. And we think the answer is to give our experience a name…a label…so we can understand exactly what's w...

Are you doing the best you can to stay healthy and be happy, but your body (and maybe your whole life) seems to be falling apart anyway?   We search for information about our symptoms. And go from doctor to doctor looking for a diagnosis. Because we need to feel validated…to know we're not crazy. And we think the answer is to give our experience a name…a label…so we can understand exactly what's w...

How do you cope with panic attacks, mood swings, eruptions of rage or other illogical reactions that feel out of proportion to the situation?   Many of us think the antidote to emotional reactivity is to distract ourselves with positivity. We take a breath, try to walk it off or visualize a basket of puppies on the beach at sunset.   We tell ourselves to just let it go and to stop letting it bothe...

How do you cope with panic attacks, mood swings, eruptions of rage and other illogical reactions that feel out of proportion to the situation?   Many of us think the antidote to emotional reactivity is to distract ourselves with positivity. We take a breath, try to walk it off or visualize a basket of puppies on the beach at sunset.   We tell ourselves to just let it go and to stop letting it both...

Have you ever noticed that the more medications you take, the more you seem to need?   We were given antibiotics as kids. Allergy and acne medications in our teens. Birth control in our twenties. Antidepressants in our thirties. And now, we take pills for autoimmune disorders, migraines, irritable bowel, arthritis and thyroid problems.   It's not normal to be healthy.   Meanwhile, life feels more...

Have you ever noticed that the more medications you take, the more you seem to need?   We were given antibiotics as kids. Allergy and acne medications in our teens. Birth control in our twenties. Antidepressants in our thirties. And now, we take pills for autoimmune disorders, migraines, irritable bowel, arthritis and thyroid problems.   It's not normal to be healthy.   Meanwhile, life feels more...

What do you do when your emotions don't make sense–even to you?   Most of us do our best to stifle the urge to "freak out" or "go off" on other people. Because we either a) want to avoid the consequences or b) don't want to look crazy. So we suffer in (the very loud) silence.   Unfortunately, most of us medicate the symptoms of emotional dysregulation with prescription drugs, alcohol, pot, food or...

Do you sometimes feel like a crazy shrew? Because even though you do your best to ignore the intrusive thoughts that are holding court in your head, you simply can't let go?   You're not alone. Most of us make an effort to "forget about it" and "think positive!🤡"… only to have that relentless negative and judgmental voice continue to poop on our parade. 💩   If the affirmations and positive think...

Does your desire to quit drinking, lose weight or start a new career feel unattainable?   The mistake most of us make when we want something to change is to focus on what we're doing wrong. Because we think beating ourselves up will improve our willpower and follow-through.    And so we delay taking action because we're waiting for the perfect time. And then we invest 110 percent of our energy to...

Have you taken a break from alcohol to reset your tolerance only to slide back into the cycle of over-drinking? If you want your next period of sobriety to mark the beginning of a new chapter in your life so you never need another "do-over," schedule a discovery call with me to hear more about the work we do in my 12-week coaching program called...wait for it... The Next Chapter.   As Black Friday...

How do you feel when you see people on television sharing a flask around a  roaring campfire, enjoying a bottle of red wine with a 5-course meal, or sliding into a steaming bubble bath with a crystal goblet of cold Chardonnay?   No matter how committed you are to drinking less or not at all, scenes that associate drinking with pleasure can trigger temptation. You may experience a burst of disconte...

How much time do you think someone needs to stay sober once the physical addiction to alcohol has been broken?   Most people quit drinking with a goal in mind. And whether they are aiming to stay sober forever or just participating in Sober October, success is measured by the number of alcohol free days.    But taking a break to simply reset your tolerance, or swearing off alcohol forever because...

What do you think is the hardest part of quitting drinking?   Most of us assume that declining the invitation to drink requires massive amounts of willpower. And that staying sober will feel like trying not to cough…which means there's no way we'll be able to resist the urge forever.    So you delay the announcement because you assume it's going to be difficult. You genuinely want to be successful...

Why do you think that it's so hard to stick with your intentions to "drink like a normal" person?"   You may assume that your "off-switch" is broken or that you have an "addictive personality." Or maybe you secretly fear that you really are an alcoholic. Regardless, this is a frustrating and embarrassing problem that feels beneath you.   Most people try to escape the cycle of over-drinking by taki...

How do you handle the emotional whiplash of knowing you should stay sober for a while but also feeling like that's unrealistic?   Ambivalence feels like climbing up to the high dive only to chicken out and refuse to jump. And then telling yourself it's not that bad and you like learning lessons the hard way–Cheers! Or secretly thinking it's actually so bad that you probably should go to rehab.   ...

Want a sneak peak into the five-part mini-series on Resolving Ambivalence? (Includes a 10-page bonus companion guide so you don't even have to take notes!) The Ambivalence mini-series is my gift to you in celebration of the birth of our new show: It's Not About the Alcohol: Holistic Recovery & Emotional Sobriety.  New episodes will be released every Tuesday at 5 am EST.  If you're not an official...

Do you associate alcohol with stress reduction?    We often think of alcohol as medicinal... drinking is a socially acceptable way to "take the edge off." We use it to relax in stressful situations.    And sometimes, that seems to be true. Especially if you're a daily drinker. Just the sound of a cork being popped or a beer being cracked can feel like a huge relief.   But if alcohol objectively re...

Do you have a Boozie Barbie living in your head who stays up too late drinking because she wants ME time ... and then complains all day about being exhausted, lonely and unfulfilled?   I work with high achieving women who want to stop relying on alcohol to relieve the stress of their hectic lives, but giving up the only thing that takes the edge off feels impossible.   It's Not About the Alcohol w...