Is it Me or is it Them? with April Boyd

What if the question isn’t “What’s wrong with me?” — but “What if I’ve outgrown the room I’m in?” In this episode, April explores a quiet question many self-reflective people carry: What if I’m the problem? You’ll hear about: Why depth and honesty are often mislabeled as “too much” How growth can feel isolating, even when you’re loved Why editing yourself isn’t the same as being adaptable What it...

Is there someone in your life who doesn’t take no for an answer? No matter how thoughtful, flexible, or accommodating you try to be, you still end up feeling pushed, dominated, or worn down. In this episode, we explore what’s actually happening when someone wants control, not connection. If your boundaries consistently create escalation instead of respect, this conversation will help you name the...

As the holidays wind down, many women are realizing that despite having the conversations, choosing their words carefully, and doing their inner work, nothing has really changed in their relationships. In this episode, April explores why talking things through sometimes backfires — and why trying harder to more clear can actually keep you stuck. The missing piece isn’t better communication. It’s u...

Episode Description Most women are taught there are only two ways to move through conflict and relationships: Be nice → swallow your feelings, smooth things over, keep the peace at your own expense Be strong → armor up, go sharp, cut people off, or handle everything yourself Neither one feels good. Neither feels like you. In this episode of Is It Me or Is It Them? , I share the lightning-bolt insi...

We’re taught to toughen up, care less, harden ourselves. But you probably already know that none of that actually works. It doesn't make us safer or more confident, it just sends us into a tug of war with ourselves. In this episode, April unpacks the powerful middle ground — where softness and self-respect can live together — and shares a story that reframes what real strength can look like. In Th...

When something feels off in a relationship, how do you know whether to speak up… or let it go? In this episode of Is It Me or Is It Them? , I walk you through two real-life friendship situations - one that led to a soft, productive conversation, and another that crashed and burned - to help you understand how to make this decision with more clarity and self-assurance. This episode is especially fo...

Are your expectations a little unrealistic? If you’ve been feeling that pressure to be endlessly composed, endlessly capable, endlessly “fine” — this episode is for you. We’re talking about the real reason perfectionism shows up (hint: it’s not a personality trait). It’s an old survival strategy your nervous system learned a long time ago… one that might be quietly running your life today. Inside...

Have you been feeling the urge to reach out to that old friend you took distance from? As we move into the holidays it can be tempting to re-connect— send a quick message, extend an invite, or reopen the door with someone we’ve drifted from. But how do you know whether it’s a relationship worth revisiting… or one that’s better left gently in the past? In this episode, we help you decide whether to...

If you’re wrestling with the choice to go to the family event or finally opt out of the chaos, this episode is for you. Today we explore how to decide whether you should go, skip it, or do things differently this year. You’ll hear questions, reflections, and practical guidance to help you get honest about what you’re walking into, what it will cost you emotionally, and what you actually want or ne...

Have you ever replayed a conversation - picking apart what you said, how you said it, or wishing you’d handled it differently? Maybe a mistake or embarrassing moment left you spiralling for days into shame and self-loathing?   There’s a big difference between self-reflection and self-attack.  One is productive. The other is just punishment.     ✨ Self-reflection soun...

When life is moving a mile a minute, it’ might feel like you just want to get in your car and get away for a few days. But you don’t need to book a vacation or escape your life to get back in control. You can shift the energy in the moment, right where you are. And really, this is where our healing actually happens, right here, right now, in how we take control of ourselves on a moment by moment b...

In this episode of Is It Me or Is It Them? , we unpack one of the most misunderstood ideas about anxiety: the belief that feeling safe is the ultimate goal. We're going to explore why seeking safety can sometimes keep us stuck—and why building trust in ourselves is a more sustainable path forward. Drawing on my work as a therapist, and real-life examples from clients and my own experiences, I walk...

No one warns you about this part of love. One day you look across the table at the person you built a life with—and ask yourself: What if I made a huge mistake? You have spent years getting to know them better than they may even know themselves- and some of it's ugly. And you wonder: Is this still workable—or am I just fooling myself? In this episode of Is It Me or Is It Them? , we’re talking abou...

Want to get better at speaking up? Sign up for the free on-demand workshop that will help you be more confident in standing your ground when you're dealing with a boundary bulldozer. Sign up here . Get on the Newsletter List here. Have a topic or question you'd love to hear about? Message me and let me know. email april@lovelossproject.com Instagram @with.love.april https://www.instagram.com/with....

What do you do when the problem isn’t just your in-laws—but your partner’s refusal to set limits with them? In today’s episode of Is It Me or Is It Them? we’re talking about one of the most painful and confusing dynamics that shows up in relationships: when your partner won’t back you up, won’t speak up, and won’t protect the boundaries that matter to you. You’re not imagining it. You’re not being...

In today’s episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on a cultural trend that might seem harmless, but actually functions as a form of social control: the "Karen" meme. While it may have started as a way to call out rude or entitled behaviour, it’s morphed into something much darker—something that often punishes women for speaking up, setting boundaries, or simply taking up space. Especially as they...

Welcome back to Is It Me or Is It Them? After a short break, I’m so glad to be back with you—and today, we’re diving into something that comes up all the time in relationships: the fear of speaking up. You might think the problem is that you don’t know how to say it. But what if the real issue is that you don’t think you’re allowed to? In this episode, we’ll explore: Why many people struggle to vo...

Send us a text Today we explore two reasons why  the heavy burden many women feel when juggling responsibilities in their personal and professional lives. The conversation dives into the cultural expectations that lead to overfunctioning, how these beliefs impact relationships and why over-working becomes a stress management tool you probably don't even notice you're using. • Discussing...

Send us a text The episode dives deep into the often-overlooked dynamic where one partner assumes a parental role over the other. We explore the roots of this behavior, how it can backfire, and actionable ways to restore balance in relationships.   • The pitfalls of becoming a caretaker rather than a partner • How societal expectations play into relationship dynamics • Strategies for breaking the...

Send us a text We all know that building healthy relationships requires open communication- but what when they don't want to hear what you have to say?  What about those times when it just seems to cause or fight- or worse- leaves you feeling dismissed and ignored? When it doesn't feel it's okay to say what you need to say, you can develop a habit of biting your tongue, stuffing dow...

Send us a text Are you feeling the anxiety & stress that's all around us right now? Me too. That's why I decided to put some energy into the things I can control - and I'm inviting you to do the same by channelling your anxiety into your purpose.  This conversation is a call to action for those with a yearning to share their ideas—whether it's writing a book, launching a bu...

Send us a text Can a simple act of validation shift our relationships, both personally and professionally? Join me, April Boyd, as I share insights from my facilitator training session on the "Is it Me or Is it Them" podcast. We'll explore why acknowledging emotions is a critical ingredient in creating genuine connections, helping others and avoiding conflict.  Whether you're c...

Send us a text Is it just a rough patch or a sign of a deeper relationship issue? This is the question I should have been asking during my first marriage and today I'm finally going to share my story. Join me, April Boyd, as I unravel the complexities of relationship dynamics, unpacking the difference between temporary stressors and recurring patterns that may indicate something more serious....

Send us a text When things feel frightening and uncertain in the world around me, I try to go back to what I know for sure. One thing I know for sure is that we need more do-gooders in this world.   We need people who care about other people. We need people who are willing to give more than they take. We need people who want to use their gifts & energy to help others.    So if you have ever ha...

Send us a text Is it needy to want to feel appreciated?  Or just a basic relationship need? in relationships?  The episode discusses over-giving tendencies, our need for affirmation, and helps you know when you need to speak up- or just validate yourself.  Whether you are dealing with a co-worker, client or spouse, this episode is going to help you know when you just need to be content and confide...