Intelligent Intoxication

“... a strength is what you do that makes you feel strengthened… it’s what feels amazing when you do it… a weakness is the stuff you do that makes you feel weakened.” Daniell LaPorte (referencing Marcus Buckingham) Fire-Starter Sessions  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice feeling strengthened? When do you notice feeling weakened? How willing are you to have your own back...

When we assign blame, we are saying that other people are responsible for how we feel. When we allow ownership, we get curious about why we decide to accept and tolerate certain behaviors in our relationships.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice trying to protect loved ones by blaming others who have hurt them? What might be different if you support your loved one in owni...

There is a difference between wanting, desiring, and creating something different in your life versus hustling, striving, and grasping for something more. Desiring and creating different comes from a place of abundance, sufficiency, and enoughness.  I invite you to consider these questions: Are you willing to love and accept where you are, what you’ve accomplished, and what you have exactly as it...

There’s a difference between staying busy because you’re filling your days with activities and being fulfilled because you’re making continuous personal and professional progress as you use your inherent gifts and talents to offer a meaningful contribution to others.  I invite you to consider these questions: Are you making continuous personal or professional progress? Have you identified your inh...

There is a huge difference between being “resigned” and intentionally “resigning.” When we’re resigned, it’s as if we’re unintentionally quitting, settling, or defaulting to stay stuck in an unpleasant circumstance, job, relationship, or pattern.  Contrast that to intentionally deciding to stop or leave what is no longer serving our growth, expansion, and well-being by offering a resignation.  I i...

We all have times when we seem to revert back to old “bad” habits - even when we’ve been doing a great job creating and maintaining new, “good” habits.    You’re likely returning to a habit that doesn’t serve your health, well-being, or relationships long-term because of the immediate although temporary benefits you get from the habit in the moment. In other words, our “bad” habits off us an escap...

When there is distance or disconnection in a relationship, we can say that a “rupture” has occurred. Ruptures are not problematic unless a repair or reconnection is not made in a timely fashion.  While it’s important to manage and repair relationship ruptures, the most important relationship in need of repair is the one you have with yourself.  I encourage you to identify and learn to manage the f...

We are at our best when we feel deeply energized because we are investing our time and energy into deeply meaningful connections, work, and projects.    Your body will let you know that you aren’t investing your time and energy in an aligned manner when you feel drained and depleted.    Being attached to what others think, feel, say or expect from you will prevent you from  being at your best.   ...

“Dealing with your STRESS is a separate process from dealing with the things that cause your stress. To deal with your STRESS, you have to COMPLETE THE CYCLE.” Emily Nagoski, PhD/Amelia Nagoski, DMA Burnout: The Secret To Unlocking The Stress Cycle What we refer to as “Stress” can be broken down into three parts: STRESSORS: the triggers that activate the stress response in your body. Triggers can...

“Dealing with your STRESS is a separate process from dealing with the things that cause your stress. To deal with your STRESS, you have to COMPLETE THE CYCLE.” Emily Nagoski, PhD/Amelia Nagoski, DMA Burnout: The Secret To Unlocking The Stress Cycle What we refer to as “Stress” can be broken down into three parts: STRESSORS: the triggers that activate the stress response in your body. Triggers can...

“Dealing with your STRESS is a separate process from dealing with the things that cause your stress. To deal with your STRESS, you have to COMPLETE THE CYCLE.” Emily Nagoski, PhD/Amelia Nagoski, DMA Burnout: The Secret To Unlocking The Stress Cycle What we refer to as “Stress” can be broken down into three parts: STRESSORS: the triggers that activate the stress response in your body. Triggers can...

Jamie Gruber, an entrepreneur and host of the Tribe of Millionaires podcast, shared (and I paraphrase) that in order to grow into a new, expanded version of yourself, you must know the difference between “Remember When” people/relationships vs. “Imagine When/If” relationships… the former will keep you stuck in a comfort zone doing what you’ve always done, while the latter will inspire you to expan...

“Resentment is the feeling of frustration, judgment, anger, “better than,” and/or hidden envy related to perceived unfairness or injustice. It’s an emotion that we often experience when we fail to set boundaries or ask for what we need, or when expectations let us down because they were based on things we can’t control, like what other people think, what they feel, or how they’re going to react.”...

Authenticity has two parts: Part 1: Knowing who you are, what you value, what you want  and don’t want AND having the courage to live that way.  Part 2: Paying attention to what your body needs in order to feel safe.  My brilliant colleague, Sally Hardie offered these powerful lessons (and I paraphrase): “You can’t think your way over the top of your emotions.” “Authenticity is paying attention to...

Authenticity has two parts: Part 1: Knowing who you are, what you value, what you want  and don’t want AND having the courage to live that way.  Part 2: Paying attention to what your body needs in order to feel safe.  I invite you to consider these questions: Who are you really? What do you like? What do you love? What do I intentionally want? What don’t I? What are my gifts? What are my talents?...

Having healthy boundaries will both COST and BENEFIT you.  Having healthy boundaries will COST you: the ability to people-please or approval-seek the luxury expecting others to make assumptions about your needs or wants the ability to run away from “big girl” or “big boy” conversations the ability to play the Martyr or Victim in your relationships unhealthy or immature relationships These are BENE...

Tonight we’re diving into all things boundaries - specifically: what boundaries are NOT what boundaries ARE the emotion that lets you  know that you need to create or communicate a boundary.  Boundaries are NOT: using words or actions to control, manipulate, threaten or punish others.  righteous rules rigid standards Boundaries ARE a combination of: REQUESTS: based on your values, you need somethi...

If you are a CAREGIVER, you are likely responding to the needs of someone who is not fully independent, such as a child or an individual with an illness, disability, or disorder. You are providing necessary support to someone who cannot care for themselves.  But, if you are not also taking care of and supporting yourself, you will begin to “flail” or “drown”.  If you’re beginning to “flail”, you m...

If you’re struggling to make progress toward results and outcomes you really are committed to achieving, I invite you to consider this question: “Am I at peace with BLANK?” For example - “Am I at peace with: … my body and/or weight?” … my food and/or drink?” … my relationships?” … my career or job?” … my parenting or children?” … my finances?” … something else?” If you answer NO, it’s likely becau...

We all make the mistake of trying to “help” those we care about by: swooping in rescuing them solving their problems giving them advice teaching them cheering them on attempting to distract them But what really helps, is discerning the role they need or want us to play in the moment.  Ask them: “Do you want me to show up for you as a LISTENER, COACH, TEACHER, or CONSULTANT? If they need a LISTENER...

Welcome to Season 2 of Intelligent Intoxication: Crafting A Top-Shelf Life.  “We have activities we engage in and people we interact with. Some of those activities and relationships energize us and we feel lit up, alive and inspired while doing them or when we’re with them. Others drain and deplete our energy and we feel exhausted, tapped out, saturated.” (Inspired/Paraphrased by Feroshia Knight.)...

Welcome to Season 2 of Intelligent Intoxication: Crafting A Top-Shelf Life.    “My favorite way to think about soul power is the quality of being radically FREE, because one is neither trying to escape something, nor chase something.” Simone Grace Seol   When we are in the habit of CHASING “something more”, we are likely: stuck in comparisonitis feeling envious or jealous believing that “there” wi...

Welcome to Season 2 of Intelligent Intoxication: Crafting A Top-Shelf Life.    I’ve noticed a considerable difference between men and women who thrive in the second half of life and those who don’t. I offer my observations for your consideration. People who thrive: don’t try to rewind to the past by focusing on how much better it was and wanting to go back in time. They invest their time and energ...

Welcome to Season 2 of Intelligent Intoxication: Crafting A Top-Shelf Life.    You’re either lit up, alive, inspired, and fulfilled in your personal and professional life, or you’re not. Yet. If you’re not, it’s likely because you’re not: challenging yourself and making continuous progress utilizing your inherent gifts to make the contribution only you can make to others prioritizing the pursuit o...

Welcome to Season 2 of Intelligent Intoxication: Crafting A Top-Shelf Life.    You’re either lit up, alive, inspired, and fulfilled in your personal and professional life, or you’re not. Yet. If you’re not, it’s likely because you’re not: challenging yourself and making continuous progress utilizing your inherent gifts to make the contribution only you can make to others prioritizing the pursuit o...