Intelligent Intoxication

An EMOTIONAL TRIGGER is any person, words, actions, situations, or environments that make us emotionally uncomfortable. We’ll likely experience intense, excessive physical sensations.  When we feel trapped, we feel as if we have zero: agency control certainty power in our lives and in regard to our choices and decisions.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice feeling trapped...

An EMOTIONAL TRIGGER is any person, words, actions, situations, or environments that make us emotionally uncomfortable. We’ll likely experience intense, excessive physical sensations.  When we feel pitied, it’s because someone feels sorry for us or someone is offering us sympathy.  There is a difference between sympathy and empathy: sympathy is feeling compassion, sorrow, or pity for the hardships...

An EMOTIONAL TRIGGER is any person, words, actions, situations, or environments that make us emotionally uncomfortable. We’ll likely experience intense, excessive physical sensations.  When we feel like we’re the “bad guy”, it may be because we’re feeling blamed by others or telling ourselves that others think it’s “all your fault”.  We may also unintentionally be playing a role in the Drama Trian...

An EMOTIONAL TRIGGER is any person, words, actions, situations, or environments that make us emotionally uncomfortable. We’ll likely experience intense, excessive physical sensations.  When we feel like we can’t be HONEST, it may be because it doesn’t feel SAFE to share or tell the truth.  Here are some reasons we withhold the truth when we don’t feel safe: We DEFEND or protect ourselves from real...

An EMOTIONAL TRIGGER is any person, words, actions, situations, or environments that make us emotionally uncomfortable. We’ll likely experience intense, excessive physical sensations.  “Given that we're all here to be seen, known, and loved, invisibility is one of the most painful human experiences." Atlas of the Heart Brene Brown, PhD, MSW When we don’t feel seen, known, and loved, it’s likely th...

One year ago today I launched the first episode of the Intelligent Intoxication podcast. I am deeply grateful for: my engaged, present, phenomenal listeners my supportive, brilliantly talented, producer, Rubi Skilton my coaches, counselors and mentors who encouraged me to “be me” and to do what felt deeply enjoyable and satisfying my friends and family who celebrated along with me Cheers to anothe...

An EMOTIONAL TRIGGER is any person, words, actions, situations, or environments that make us emotionally uncomfortable. We’ll likely experience intense, excessive physical sensations.  “At the heart of loneliness is the absence of meaningful social interaction - an intimate relationship, friendships, family gatherings, or even community or work group connections.” Atlas of the Heart Brene Brown, P...

An EMOTIONAL TRIGGER is any person, words, actions, situations, or environments that make us emotionally uncomfortable. We’ll likely experience intense, excessive physical sensations.  When we feel like we DON’T HAVE A VOICE, we may be believing that we can’t speak up.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice feeling like you don’t have a voice? What do you notice telling your...

An EMOTIONAL TRIGGER is any person, words, actions, situations, or environments that make us emotionally uncomfortable. We’ll likely experience intense, excessive physical sensations.  When we feel a LACK OF AFFECTION, we may also feel UNLOVED.  In his bestselling book, The Five Languages, author Gary Chapman teaches about these five “love languages”: acts of service gift-giving physical touch qua...

An EMOTIONAL TRIGGER is any person, words, actions, situations, or environments that make us emotionally uncomfortable. We’ll likely experience intense, excessive physical sensations.  When we feel RESPECTED by others, what is it that they are: doing/not doing saying/not saying We need to be willing to identify and communicate to others how we expect to be treated in order to feel respected.  If y...

An EMOTIONAL TRIGGER is any person, words, actions, situations, or environments that make us emotionally uncomfortable. We’ll likely experience intense, excessive physical sensations.  When we feel BLAMED, it feels as if someone else is saying “It’s all your fault” because: you disappointed them hurt their feelings or caused them pain altered their circumstances negatively I invite you to consider...

An EMOTIONAL TRIGGER is any person, words, actions, situations, or environments that make us emotionally uncomfortable. We’ll likely experience intense, excessive physical sensations.  When we feel JUDGED, it may be because we’re telling ourselves that someone else is deciding whether or not we’re: good or bad right or wrong worthy or unworthy adequate or inadequate and we worry that we’re going t...

An EMOTIONAL TRIGGER is any person, words, actions, situations, or environments that make us emotionally uncomfortable. We’ll likely experience intense, excessive physical sensations.  When we feel SCOLDED, it may be because we’re being: criticized embarrassed shamed guilted persecuted condescended to humiliated I invite you to consider these questions: When did you feel SCOLDED as a child? Were y...

An EMOTIONAL TRIGGER is any person, words, actions, situations, or environments that make us emotionally uncomfortable. We’ll likely experience intense, excessive physical sensations.  When we feel UNHEARD, it may be because we don’t feel as if: our voice matters we’re worthy of being listened to I invite you to consider these questions: When have you felt UNHEARD? When have you felt as if your vo...

An EMOTIONAL TRIGGER is any person, words, actions, situations, or environments that make us emotionally uncomfortable. We’ll likely experience intense, excessive physical sensations.  When we feel powerless, it may be because circumstances feel: unpredictable uncontrollable uncertain I invite you to consider these questions: What do you have the power to think, feel, and do? What do you have cont...

An EMOTIONAL TRIGGER is any person, words, actions, situations, or environments that make us emotionally uncomfortable. We’ll likely experience intense, excessive physical sensations.  When we feel excluded, it may be because we haven’t been invited to an event or included in plans or with a group of people.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice feeling EXCLUDED? When you f...

EXPECTATIONS and STANDARDS are not the same thing.  Expectations are our ideas about how we want certain situations to unfold and what we think that others should say, do, or be.  Standards speak to a level of quality we set for ourselves. Standards are directly related to our core values.  I invite you to consider these questions: Is this expectation reasonable? Am I willing to honor someone else...

There are “toxic” habits that tend to be repellent to others in relationships: Negativity Victim Mentality Over-Sensitivity Over-reactivity Neediness/Clinginess (Inspired by Kathy Caprino’s “Toxic Behaviors That Push People Away” post.) If you are in a NEEDY/CLINGY habit, you may be: sucking energy from others outsourcing your emotions to others I invite you to consider these questions about havin...

There are “toxic” habits that tend to be repellent to others in relationships: Negativity Victim Mentality Over-Sensitivity Over-reactivity Neediness/Clinginess (Inspired by Kathy Caprino’s “Toxic Behaviors That Push People Away” post.) If you are in an OVER-REACTING habit, you may be: reacting to your emotions rather than feeling them saying and doing things that damage connections with others I...

There are “toxic” habits that tend to be repellent to others in relationships: Negativity Victim Mentality Over-Sensitivity Over-reactivity Neediness/Clinginess (Inspired by Kathy Caprino’s “Toxic Behaviors That Push People Away” post.) If you are in an OVERLY-SENSITIVE habit, you may be: making the words or actions of others mean something about them, about how they feel about you, or about your...

There are “toxic” habits that tend to be repellent to others in relationships: Negativity Victim Mentality Over-Sensitivity Over-reactivity Neediness/Clinginess (Inspired by Kathy Caprino’s “Toxic Behaviors That Push People Away” post.) If you are in a VICTIM MENTALITY habit, you may be: blaming a “persecutor” or “villain” for how you feel searching for a “rescuer” to solve your problem or “save”...

There are “toxic” habits that tend to be repellent to others in relationships: Negativity Victim Mentality Over-Sensitivity Over-reactivity Neediness/Clinginess (Inspired by Kathy Caprino’s “Toxic Behaviors That Push People Away” post.) If you are in a NEGATIVITY habit, you may be: showing up like a “Debbie Downer” refusing to the see the positive complaining and criticizing I invite you to consid...

Some of us are motivated by the potential of LOSS, whereas others of us are motivated by the potential of GAIN.    If you’re motivated by AVOIDING LOSS, you may be a terrific candidate for an app like Stikk. You can read more about it below: All About Stikk “.. Stikk works by helping people eliminate this gap (between having a goal and achieving it) by using, what we call, a Commitment Contract. A...

I have a habit of resisting “arbitrary” deadlines. An “arbitrary” deadline is typically a task, commitment, or goal with a “pretend” due date.  If you, too, struggle at times with “arbitrary” deadlines or to achieve your goals, check out the Stikk app here: All About Stikk   “.. Stikk works by helping people eliminate this gap (between having a goal and achieving it) by using, what we call, a Comm...

Having a “skin care” habit is much like engaging in personal development work: You start using new products. Initially, your skin looks the same.  (You increase your self-awareness and start applying what you’re learning at first things don’t seem to change.) Eventually, your skin “reacts” or “responds” to the lotions or products. (You start to make some change and get “triggered” and may assume t...