INSTANT EXPERTS - the latest news, explained by idiots

Send us a text here! Video version is here!: https://youtu.be/cttdj8n31xw This week, the Crooks, F*ckwits & Morons line up in their traditional 4-3-3 formation, as we celebrate the start of the world Festival of Fooootball:     1.    Trump slips a fart past the keeper and a shart past the diaper in another explosive press conference!      2.    Meanwhile, NBC's attacking centre-mid Kristi...

Send us a text here! Video version here!: https://youtu.be/Avo7WntdLQk It's chaos aplenty this week, as the world’s Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons redouble their efforts!: Trump headlines his “America 250” concert after Gary Glitter, Rolf Harris and Roman Polanski pull out citing ethics concerns  Court orders JFK’s head replace Trump’s on both sides of new commemorative $250 bill Aussie radio ex...

Send us a text here! Video version is here!: https://youtu.be/XFiceVlIyXI In this week’s tour of the world’s Crooks, F*ckwits & Morons, it’s State vs State and Mate vs Mate as:  NSW Blues conjure miracle win against those dirty filthy cheating Queenslanders - they've been traumatising Henry since he was 7 years old! Donald Trump Sr disses Donald Trump Jr by ditching his wedding in favour...

Send us a text here! Video version here!: https://youtu.be/6g42KgVyH6o In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons, we celebrate dodgy blokes stealing cash by the bushel! President Trump sues himself, settles with himself, and pardons himself in one smooth motion! But don’t worry, the $1.776 billion only came from the departments fighting Ebola and the Hantavirus! Auss...

Send us a text here! For video version: https://youtu.be/I6m0bvl46EE In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons... It’s Aussie Budget week and our wallets are being fiscally harassed!: Aus Treasurer Jim Chalmers describes two real naked tax increases as "intergenerational equity" - with a straight face! JP Morgan's Chirayu Rana describes two fictional n...

Send us a text here! In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons... The Honk is back from gallivanting and it’s all happening!:  Trump’s little off-the-shoulder number wows the crowd at the Met Gala, while Cole Allen’s little shoulder-holster number wows the Secret Service at The White House Correspondents’ Dinner! It’s hard times in Australia cos it’s Budget night, wh...

Send us a text here! For the video version: https://youtu.be/ezdw85RbZT0?si=IYR0VDEmptifK9FY In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits & Morons... Trumpy’s on a brain break and The Three Stooges take over!: Larry Stooge, BJ Vance, gives his long-awaited lecture on Catholicism to the Pope! Curly Stooge, Ka$h Patel, explains serial drunkenness is “part of the job mate, I love...

Send us a text here! For Video version: https://youtu.be/-LOg8hT60OY In this tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons:  It's Iran week 7 PLUS the match-up the whole world's waiting for!  In the white robed corner, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 164 pounds, it’s Tarantino Chapter 4, Verse 7 as “the path of the orange cuck is beset on all sides by the baddest muthaf*cki...

Send us a text here! Video version is here!: https://youtu.be/ufDZGSXjGAg?si=aJOc-suBivy6JQsf In this tour of the world's crooks, f*ckwits and morons... It’s Iran week 6 and we’re all going back to the Stone Age! Or Golden Age! Or both!: Trump’s 15 point peace plan offers Iran the money, the box, the nukes, The Strait and a Tesla with Everything Computer!  Meanwhile, Iran’s 10 point peace pla...

Send us a text here! Video version of ep is here! https://youtu.be/63_tWTAjsuA In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons: It’s Iran week 5 and the Distract-O-Meter hits 11 as another Friend of the Show departs! US Attorney-General Pam Bondi is boned to distract from Iran, which was supposed to distract from The Epstein Files, that we admit Our Pam f*cked up monumenta...

Send us a text here! For video version: https://youtu.be/zq89KV6DrIs It’s Iran week 4 and the end game is clear: peace, war, stalemate or starvation! Meanwhile world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons blow things up while they still can:  Iran blows up 17% of 20% of the world’s LNG supplies at Ras Laffan - World discovers LNG is useful the hard way! The US blows up Iran’s power supplies, but only...

Send us a text here! Video version is here: https://youtu.be/jbBgLy_TRLM We celebrate our 50th official episode* with some of our favourite Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons. While we still can!: Show Patron Donald J Trump beats Iran for the third week in a row. But can he beat the Wests Tigers at Leichhardt? DNI-hire Tulsi Gabbard shares her intelligence on Iraq: “I think it’s spelled I-R-A-N, but that...

Send us a text here! Video version is here!: https://youtu.be/b6XbBM3Wgug In our latest tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons: It’s week 2 of the AFL, the NRL and the big clash between IRAN and USA! Will America’s league-leading offence beat Iran’s league-leading defence? We mine the Straits of Hormuz to find out! Will Ukraine’s expertise repelling Russian drones made by Iran funded...

Send us a text here! To watch the video version on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Vxx9PQP2LqY In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits & Morons: After 249 gruelling days of no-one bombing the sh*t out of each other, Israel, Iran and The US are ready for MIDDLE EAST ELIMINATION CHAMBER - the WWE/WW3 co-production everyone's talking about! It’s Mania in Mesopotamia as the Ti...

Send us a text here! Video version of episode here!:  https://youtu.be/G3d7tFVI5Nc It’s State of the Union time and the Crooks, F***wits and Morons are winning more than ever! United States Supreme Court rules President Trump’s 15% tariff on IQ Tests illegal! He’s stuck on 85 - or was that 58? - and needs urgent tuition from WhatsApp maths guru Henry Li! Honk and Henry wade through more Epstein Fi...

Send us a text here! It’s the FIRST EVER VIDEO EDITION OF INSTANT EXPERTS! And like us, more Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons have revealed themselves! Ex-Prince Andrew swaps underage girls for well-endowed cellmates! Now we know why it’s called “His Majesty’s Prison”! President Gerald Ford makes a shock return to US foreign policy! Watch out Iran - there’s nothing more dangerous than a dead man with g...

Send us a text here! It’s Season 2 of Instant Experts and, like us, the Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons have gone next-level: Trump successfully takes over Venezuela - a mysterious land of high-quality coke and low-quality oil! Trump unsuccessfully takes over Greenland and Minnesota - mysterious lands of fire, ICE and getting shot in the face!  Canada PM Mark Carney dumps Trump; In Aussie politics, Th...

Send us a text here! In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons: Stupid F***ing Terrorist C**ts murder 15 people at Bondi Beach. Aussie leaders experience brain, backbone shortage. It’s an Islamic Terrorism problem, stupid! Henry stands up to 'Stand Up To Hate' campaign by hating f***ing terrorist c**ts. Standing up. Did we mention Australia has an Islamist...

Send us a text here! In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons: The Honk returns from London, needs 10 days to recover!: "One was tired!"  US Def Sec Pete Hegseth shoots two defenceless feet dead in open ocean: “I thought my legs were armed, your Honour!” ICE rounds up more Black Admirals, Generals: "Zey Ver Owr Orderz!" World's worst team We...

Send us a text here! In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons: Mark Epstein: Trump never blew Clinton - "Certainly not Bill anyway". Epstein discharge petition scrapes through House 218-217, but Transparency Bill 427-1. Who the fuck votes Yes AND No, people?!!! US Def Sec Pete Hegseth defends new 'OPERATION GAYLORD': "It's the first nam...

Send us a text here! In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons: Epstein Files release vote goes to Congress: “It’ll be the first bill we’ve read in years!” Trump prepares Epstein defence: “I asked for 18 but Jeff gave me 20% off!” 2020 Stolen Election hoaxsters are pardoned: “We just can’t fucking count, ok?” President Thomas Jefferson strongly denies slave mistress/...

Send us a text here! In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons: Not Since O.J.!: Trump hit by legal shit sandwich as DC Sando-Terrorist walks free in shock loss of Trial of the Millenium - But if the sub don’t hit, you must acquit! How Could NY Elect a 34yo Who Never Molested, Defrauded Anyone?!: Patience, people! Trump ices trade deal with China: “How you like that...

Send us a text here! In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits & Morons: Australia unleashes world’s smallest controversy as PM backs morbid New Wave over Punk, Glam & anthemic Britpop. No Oasis tix for you sir! Trump admits White House rebuild fail: "Movers lost The Epstein Files!" Lily Allen follow up album "David You're Still a C*nt" out next...

Send us a text here! In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons: Mr Albo goes to Washington!: “Nice place, but who's the old coot in The White House?” The AUKUS alliance lives!: Aussie cat burglars secretly rob The Louvre to fund new old US subs. Picked up a few grouse sketches as well! Trump flip-flops on Ukraine AGAIN: “I dunno. Vlod, Vlad, it’s all so confusin...

Send us a text here! In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons: Did Trump do good in Gaza? And if so, was it deliberate? The Honk & Henry Lee analyse Israel / Palestine - incorrectly! When a bee falls in the forest, is it agony or ecstasy? The Aussie Senate reports! Henry Lee in Bali! - ICE notified, Torpedos for 'Drug Boats' diverted his way And in spo...