In the Moment with Mamoon

A couple of months ago, I received this email from a sister.  My response will follow. QUESTION:  As Salaam Alykum Mamoon I want to share something with you. I totally understand that as Muslims we sometimes use the word "date" to mean to court and it doesn't mean date in the American context of going out endlessly and become bf/gf. However, there is a huge problem with that.

When you're single, it can seem like a long, never-ending journey - from meeting someone who's not a complete weirdo… all the way through to figuring out whether or not they could be a good life partner, and then deciding whether or not you really want them to be the one you spend the rest of your life with. And unfortunately, generally speaking, advice for Muslims on this is virtually non-existen...

Over the last decade, I've done 1000s of coaching sessions, and a lot of them have been with single Muslims. And during those sessions, I've received 1000's of questions.  Everything from: "How should I respond to this text?" to… "How come this guy isn't getting back to me?" to… "Should I go out with this guy again, or am I just wasting my time?" to… "We're both madly in love, but our parents aren...

Over the last few years, I've coached and advised many women in their 30s and 40s who are so exasperated on the journey to finding love, that they find themselves in a position where, realistically, if they ever want to have kids, they're going to have to freeze their eggs. This happens for a multitude of reasons, and through absolutely no fault of their own - obviously. And bizarrely enough - thi...

Here's a question I recently got from a client. I've made all the details as vague as possible for privacy purposes. QUESTION:  My sibling and their spouse have been accused of abusive behaviour, and they have several kids who are now facing foster care. My family can't take all of them on, realistically, only a certain number of them. The others have been assigned Muslim foster parents. I feel ve...

Quote: "Not even God could sink this ship,"  [Commonly attributed to Captain Edward John Smith of the Titanic]. In the outstanding movie "The Dark Knight", the Joker, played by Heath Ledger, was holding Batman's girlfriend outside the window of a skyscraper. Batman instinctively said, "Let her go." And the Joker responded with the perfect phrase that someone probably should have pointed out to the...

So said a client of mine from the UK who recently visited us in Morocco, referring to some 'Muzlamik' folks who are taking a kind of moral superiority in their decision to leave the UK.  Now, look… I get the attraction. Sun. Beaches. All kinds of entertainment. All forms of attractions. It's a land perfectly designed to entertain Brits. Oh… and it's all halal.

Basically, yes. Now, obviously this question and answer might require some context.  Over the last decade or more, I've coached a lot of single women who are in their late 20s, 30s and 40s who are living in their parents' home. And much of the time, they're unclear about whether they are technically allowed, in Islam, to leave their parents' home without being married.  

Here's a question from a coaching session… (as usual, it's been edited, summarised and certain details have been changed, to protect identities)... QUESTION:  "After getting coaching from you, I built up the courage to start calling my mum, who lives in another country. And for a while it was going good, but now, every time I call, my mum gives me guilt trips and she just gives me bad energy.  She...

The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings upon him, said: "Observe moderation in taking action, and if you fail to observe it perfectly, try to do as much as you can. And be happy, for none would be able to get into Paradise because of his actions alone." The companions of the Holy Prophet said, "Allah's Messenger, not even you?" He replied, "Not even I, but for Allah enveloping me in His love.  A...

Let me start with a disclaimer. I have absolutely no evidence whatsoever that JiuJitsu master Ryron Gracie has any interest in the Quran. However, I do know that the brothers Rener and Ryron Gracie put an enormous amount of intelligent thought into helping people achieve something that's also incredibly difficult: mastering Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

Firstly, I know how insane that sounds. Many people reading this may well be Muslim, and let me assure you, this does not work for Sunnah fasts or Ramadan fasts. Because Islamic fasts are specifically designed to make sure that you do feel hunger and thirst. There is no way around the inherent challenge in the pre-dawn to sunset, no food, no water fast. However, a lot of people these days are into...

Despite all the fake bad news about immigrants being the problem in the UK and the USA, the fact is that in reality, we boost the economy and keep it thriving.  That's why I chuckled when I was recently reminded of something I heard in an audio program I listened to about 20 years ago by Brian Tracy. He came out with a lot of zingers, but one of the gems that stayed with me was this. (For context,...

This might seem random, but it occurred to me recently that there is one piece of home workout equipment that I have used for well over a decade and I never plan on not using. It's extremely cheap (compared with a gym membership), doesn't take up space and it gives me the freedom to be able to work out at home without compromising on the effectiveness of the workout.  It even worked for me while I...

Question From A Client: My kid has just started university, and he's feeling very lonely and insecure. He's spending most of his time alone, getting bored and distracted, and isn't feeling great about it. What would your advice to him be?

Here is a pretty basic question: Have you ever set a long-term goal and then not achieved it? If so, you're right up there with 99.99% of the entire human population. One of the problems with long-term goals is that they're incredibly difficult to achieve, and for the most part, we end up giving up on them and then feeling like failures.

One of my all-time favourite productivity authors is Leo Babauta of Zen Habits. He has this excellent idea about setting New Year's goals, which is: don't do it. At least not until you've taken stock of everything that happened over the last year. He has a process that he calls the "Sacred Bow" (rhymes with cow) - which is to look at each month over the last year and simply note the major events t...

"Give yourself a rest from managing! When Someone Else is doing it for you, don't start doing it for yourself!  Your striving for what is absolutely guaranteed to you and your laxness in what is required of you are evidence that your inner eye is dull." Here's my take on this gem of ancient wisdom...  

I have a confession to make:  I always used to be pretty terrible at reaching goals.  Yikes! Sounds like I might be in the wrong profession as a life-coach, right? Or maybe that's exactly the reason I'm good at my job. I've had to learn to deal with my own under-achieving tendencies and failures and get over it in order to get anywhere in life.

It's 2026 and I gotta tell ya… I've got a good feeling about this year.  Over the winter break, I had a lot of much-needed down time and made some big decisions - mostly about… you! I noticed that in previous years, when it comes to my daily blog articles and podcasts, I've always been a bit on-and-off about it. When I have a big new exciting event or product to promote, I send you an email almost...

If your wife's been acting a little strange and moody today, it's because… You forgot! Today is "Yawm al Hubb", as my wife likes to call it, ie Valentine's Day.  Now there are a lot of people in the world who will try to convince you that Valentine's Day is a bidah, an innovation in the religion of Islam and that in Islam, there are two days of celebration, the two Eids.

I have full confidence that Indiana Jones himself, the character played by the legendary Harrison Ford, would definitely search for, find and flip "The Spiritual Switch". Here's why… Did you ever see the absolutely brilliant movie, "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade"? It's the one where Indiana's father, played by the late great Sir Sean Connery, joined Indi on an adventure to find the Holy Grail...

A question came in the other day, from a client who scheduled in a "Personal Breakthrough Session" with me and they were a little bit perturbed. They were going through my online programs like "The Psychological Switch" and "Meet and Marry the One", but there was something about what they were learning that really turned them off.

A few years ago, I was generously gifted a free ticket to a Tony Robbins "Unleash the Power Within" event. And it was a delightful experience. I went to the event a couple of years after discovering "The Spiritual Switch" (aka. The Psychological Switch) so during the event, I had a deep understanding of where my feelings truly come from – and of the fact that I don't actually need any "ninja" NLP...

One morning, a couple of years ago, I was getting my twin boys ready to go to nursery and the older twin who is a whopping three minutes older than his brother was a little bit on the grumpy side. He hadn't slept through the night and woke me up a couple of times. So he wasn't in a particularly great mood and to be honest… neither was I.