Imperfect Love

When life feels stressful, dark, or challenging, we often tell ourselves--or are told by others--that we should just toughen and carry on. Yet, from my professional and personal experience, I've learned that compartmentalizing or burying our struggles only makes things worse in the long run. When we ignore our needs for mental, emotional, and physical safety, we can worsen underlying issues such a...

Division between generations is not a new issue, yet the disconnect between Gen-Z and older generations can lead to social alienation, interpersonal conflict, and even serious mental health issues. Some see Gen-Z as an overly anxious, stressed group with poor coping skills, a lack of interest in working hard, and destructive screen time overuse. Yet Gen-Zers have so much to offer, and their streng...

Love. Addiction. Sobriety. Trauma. Death. Grief. Each of these six seemingly simple words holds vast meaning and power, yet – when absorbed collectively – they pack a powerful punch that can bring us to our knees. Most of us have loved someone – or have been that someone – who has struggled with addiction. And some of us have felt that shattering pain of losing a loved one to the force of addictio...

We often crave to be loved perfectly, yet human love is naturally imperfect. And while it's normal for us to unintentionally let each other down now and again, actions of betrayal are in a different category altogether. When those we count on most betray us, the body, mind, and spirit are deeply traumatized. The etymology of the word "betrayal" takes us to its roots of intentional deceit, unfaithf...

We often believe that if we try harder and harder to be the perfect partner, parent, friend, or employee, we will somehow create a trouble-free life and gain the love, safety, and respect we crave. Yet when we chronically strive for perfection, we tend to create more self-judgment, anxiety, and stress. Unfortunately, this toxic dynamic can foster a nasty inner critic whose negative commentary harm...

Gaslighting. It's an increasingly common term that dates back to a 1938 British Play, Gas Light, and subsequent movies focused on the power of manipulation in relationships. In the original play, a manipulative husband makes his wife feel as if she's going insane by telling her that perceptions are inaccurate when she notices that the house lights are mysteriously dim. In today's world, the term i...

Anxiety has a way of weaving itself into our bodies, brains, and lives. Struggles with anxiety often begin in childhood and, by adulthood, can become firmly entrenched in our lives. With many mental health issues on the rise--from anxiety, depression, and chronic stress to suicide--it's time to pause to find actionable strategies to help us diminish life's stressors and cope in healthy ways. We of...

Secrets. Lies. Truth. Confessions. We often learn to hide parts of who we are--including the mistakes we've made along the way. Yet, I've found that keeping secrets--the dark, shamed-filled ones--can lead to depression, anxiety, and the tendency to be untrue to the self and others. One lie, even a small one, can lead to a web of lies that makes telling the truth (or even seeing the truth) seemingl...

It can be easy to fall into indifference, hopelessness, or despair when we're met with roadblocks over and over again. Yet I've found that--even in those low spots when we feel as if we'll never bring our dreams to life--the shining lights of hope and faith can help us move forward toward the goals that bring us greater love and purpose. Is it possible to manifest what we truly desire? As a true o...

Trauma. PTSD. Complex-PTSD. Abuse. These seemingly simple words can hold a great deal of meaning, pain, and nearly inescapable charge. Although the significance of these terms can be diluted by misuse, there's nothing "light" or unimportant about the profound, lasting effects of physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, and other experiences that leave devastating – and often deeply...

PTSD and children—it’s a critical topic. PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) is increasingly common in our challenging world, and while it’s often difficult to recognize PTSD in adults, it can be even more challenging to determine when a child has PTSD. In fact, there was a time when experts believed children couldn’t develop PTSD. Fortunately, we now appreciate the obvious truth that children c...

Every day, millions of women struggle in their new (or existing) roles as mothers. No matter how much a woman desires to be a mother, the journey of motherhood can be scary and challenging. Motherhood is inherently imperfect, yet we often feel as if we should be perfect mothers who can “do it all.” In reality, the drain of striving for perfection—and comparing ourselves to others—makes being a mom...

Motherhood is wonderful, yet, as any mom can tell you, it’s not always sunshine, roses, and smiles. From the challenges of physiological changes, self-doubt, and anxiety to the bright joys of cuddle time and first steps, being a mom can be—all at once—scary, stressful, and full of delight. When we add issues such as prenatal depression, postpartum depression, sleepless nights, and societal pressur...

Tired of endless chaos? Stressed? Overwhelmed? Burnt out? Exhausted? If you're nodding along, you're likely feeling the effects of the hustle culture. The cure for healthy boundaries and mindful self-care is here! We often expect ourselves to be it all and do it all perfectly--and without complaint or sign of exhaustion. Yet the price we pay for a relentless, super-human pursuit to do it all and b...

Manipulators and predators are everywhere! Unfortunately, most of us have found ourselves in the hands of a manipulator at least once in our lives. We often feel guilty and ashamed, telling ourselves we should have known better. Yet manipulators—especially those who are truly experts at their craft—can be exceedingly difficult to detect. Yet you can learn to notice manipulators' tactics and set bo...

We often believe that shaming messages don't affect us, but from my experience, the effects of shamed-based culture or upbringing can be exceedingly harmful. Whether shaming messages are implicit or explicit, they can result in the internalization of negative self-messages that lead to feelings of unworthiness, chronic guilt, depression, and anxiety. When left unaddressed, feelings of shame can er...

LOVE is the greatest gift we are ever given. It brings us purpose, joy, connection, and life itself. Yet because we love, we also open ourselves up to the immense pain that comes with loss. Indeed, I believe that the greater our love, the more intense our pain during the loss and grieving process. And although love lives inside us and around us even when our loved ones have passed on (or moved on)...

We want to believe that love will last forever, and perhaps it does. Yet, as imperfect humans, we sometimes let down others—and even ourselves—in ways that sever the trust that is so necessary for lasting, healthy relationships. When we experience the deep pain of betrayal, which can cause immense psychological damage, it can be tough to grieve, heal, and move forward. Betrayal comes in many forms...

Eco-anxiety is on the rise. We see and feel the effects of climate change at every turn. From natural disasters to increasingly unpredictable weather cycles, we can no longer avoid noticing humanity's impact on the planet. It's easy to slip into feeling anxious, helpless, and hopeless—plus riddled with grief—yet it's never too late to increase our awareness and make a difference one day at a time....

Real love takes work! It's easy to believe that healthy relationships should "just happen." Our happily-ever-after fairy tales perpetuate the myth that love relationships should be both easy and perfect. Yet even in fairytales, the main characters encounter incredible challenges that test their resilience, commitment, and fortitude. Could it be that our romantic relationships are one of life's gre...

Imposter syndrome haunts many of us. For those who suffer from this self-defeating dynamic, I've found that feelings of being an imposter stay entrenched even when others offer heartfelt validation. The persistent fear of not being enough, which often begins in early childhood, can lead to chronic feelings of self-doubt and incompetence that override the truth that we are all valuable and deservin...

Feeling stressed and powerless in today's chaotic world? At every turn, we are faced with important concerns: political turmoil, global warming, environmental disasters, wars, pollution, human rights, and skyrocketing mental health issues. We struggle with broken healthcare, education, financial, and housing systems—plus so much more. The challenges in today's world can leave even the most well-ba...

Are your eating habits bringing you down? We often believe that what we eat has little, if any, impact on our psychological health. Especially when we are stressed or exhausted, it's all too easy to slide into unhealthy habits such as eating on the run, binging on sweets, or gobbling up carbs and comfort foods. Unfortunately, when poor eating habits become the rule--rather than the exception--our...

Looking for an antidote to stress? If you feel constantly out of balance, anxious, or stressed, you're not alone. When life feels challenging or unhealed trauma gets triggered, it's easy to become dysregulated and spiral downward. This negative cycle hurts us physically, mentally, and emotionally. Although we often can't control what life brings our way, we can learn how to balance ourselves, co-r...

We are often expected to stay happy—to be cheery and upbeat no matter what is going on in our lives. As a result of this unreasonable expectation, many people believe that they are failing if they don't feel happy 24/7. Yet, in real life, lasting happiness—what I term joy—lets go of impossible standards and makes space for all of our emotions and all of who we are. I've found that true joy is like...