Imperfect Love

Tired of endless chaos? Stressed? Overwhelmed? Burnt out? Exhausted? If you're nodding along, you're likely feeling the effects of the hustle culture. The cure for healthy boundaries and mindful self-care is here! We often expect ourselves to be it all and do it all perfectly--and without complaint or sign of exhaustion. Yet the price we pay for a relentless, super-human pursuit to do it all and b...

Manipulators and predators are everywhere! Unfortunately, most of us have found ourselves in the hands of a manipulator at least once in our lives. We often feel guilty and ashamed, telling ourselves we should have known better. Yet manipulators—especially those who are truly experts at their craft—can be exceedingly difficult to detect. Yet you can learn to notice manipulators' tactics and set bo...

We often believe that shaming messages don't affect us, but from my experience, the effects of shamed-based culture or upbringing can be exceedingly harmful. Whether shaming messages are implicit or explicit, they can result in the internalization of negative self-messages that lead to feelings of unworthiness, chronic guilt, depression, and anxiety. When left unaddressed, feelings of shame can er...

LOVE is the greatest gift we are ever given. It brings us purpose, joy, connection, and life itself. Yet because we love, we also open ourselves up to the immense pain that comes with loss. Indeed, I believe that the greater our love, the more intense our pain during the loss and grieving process. And although love lives inside us and around us even when our loved ones have passed on (or moved on)...

We want to believe that love will last forever, and perhaps it does. Yet, as imperfect humans, we sometimes let down others—and even ourselves—in ways that sever the trust that is so necessary for lasting, healthy relationships. When we experience the deep pain of betrayal, which can cause immense psychological damage, it can be tough to grieve, heal, and move forward. Betrayal comes in many forms...

Eco-anxiety is on the rise. We see and feel the effects of climate change at every turn. From natural disasters to increasingly unpredictable weather cycles, we can no longer avoid noticing humanity's impact on the planet. It's easy to slip into feeling anxious, helpless, and hopeless—plus riddled with grief—yet it's never too late to increase our awareness and make a difference one day at a time....

Real love takes work! It's easy to believe that healthy relationships should "just happen." Our happily-ever-after fairy tales perpetuate the myth that love relationships should be both easy and perfect. Yet even in fairytales, the main characters encounter incredible challenges that test their resilience, commitment, and fortitude. Could it be that our romantic relationships are one of life's gre...

Imposter syndrome haunts many of us. For those who suffer from this self-defeating dynamic, I've found that feelings of being an imposter stay entrenched even when others offer heartfelt validation. The persistent fear of not being enough, which often begins in early childhood, can lead to chronic feelings of self-doubt and incompetence that override the truth that we are all valuable and deservin...

Feeling stressed and powerless in today's chaotic world? At every turn, we are faced with important concerns: political turmoil, global warming, environmental disasters, wars, pollution, human rights, and skyrocketing mental health issues. We struggle with broken healthcare, education, financial, and housing systems—plus so much more. The challenges in today's world can leave even the most well-ba...

Are your eating habits bringing you down? We often believe that what we eat has little, if any, impact on our psychological health. Especially when we are stressed or exhausted, it's all too easy to slide into unhealthy habits such as eating on the run, binging on sweets, or gobbling up carbs and comfort foods. Unfortunately, when poor eating habits become the rule--rather than the exception--our...

Looking for an antidote to stress? If you feel constantly out of balance, anxious, or stressed, you're not alone. When life feels challenging or unhealed trauma gets triggered, it's easy to become dysregulated and spiral downward. This negative cycle hurts us physically, mentally, and emotionally. Although we often can't control what life brings our way, we can learn how to balance ourselves, co-r...

We are often expected to stay happy—to be cheery and upbeat no matter what is going on in our lives. As a result of this unreasonable expectation, many people believe that they are failing if they don't feel happy 24/7. Yet, in real life, lasting happiness—what I term joy—lets go of impossible standards and makes space for all of our emotions and all of who we are. I've found that true joy is like...

Are you a prisoner of your past? Is it possible to access your inner child to heal the wounds that keep you stuck? Can intergenerational patterns of violence and pain be shifted? Absolutely! Although some believe that we leave childhood issues behind as we enter adulthood, I've found that our negative childhood experiences—including wounds, trauma, and destructive patterns—stay with us until they...

The pressure to look perfect--and be perfect--is exhausting and expensive on many levels. In the quest to live up to impossibly high beauty standards, we often squander an incredible amount of time, mental energy, and financial resources. I've found that our mental and physical health pay a huge price when we feel judged, rejected, and shamed if we are different from ridiculously idealized norms....

We often have scripts running in our heads that tell us we should be more, do more, and obtain more. These inner narratives work against us, feeding anxiety, fear, and self-doubt. The impossible ideal of perfection is fed by society as well as those who can capitalize on our insecurities. It's no wonder we suffer from anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Maybe it's time for us to look in the...

If you're a sensitive person, you may have been told that you are the problem—that if only you weren't "so sensitive," everything would be okay. You might have heard all too often that you should just "toughen up." Yet sensitivity—when respected and valued—can be a most wondrous superpower. We live in an often-insensitive world that is hyper-focused on external appearances and material success, so...

Body image. Food. Perfectionism. The relationships we have with our bodies and the food we eat are shaped by factors such as childhood environments and societal messaging. Throughout life, the conscious and unconscious choices we make around food have the power to impact us mentally, emotionally, and physically. When we pause to notice the negative thoughts that often push us into unhealthy action...

Manifesting! This singular word is magical to some and cringe-worthy to others. Yet, when manifesting is mindfully embraced, it can become a powerful tool for everyone. When we think of manifesting, ideas of the supernatural might come to mind, but true manifesting simply involves harnessing the power of your own mindset, heart, and soul. As we learn to focus on what is truly best for our highest...

People-pleasing tendencies tend to begin in early childhood and often stem from insecure attachment. From childhood forward, we often learn to please others to obtain love, avoid conflict, and feel safe. Yet when we compromise our values and needs in order to please others, we lose touch with our inner selves and often pay the price through ongoing anxiety, depression, stress, and disempowerment....

Balancing family, marriage, work, and at least a touch of self-care isn't easy. Sometimes, the harder we strive to get it all done perfectly, the more life seems to unravel. Could the secret to finding balance be a blend of loving kindness, a positive mindset, and letting go of the desperate quest for perfection? Books by Dr. Carla Manly:  Date Smart: Transform Your Relationships and Love Fearless...

Healthy friendships are food for the soul. Indeed, the best relationships are rooted in mutual kindness, honesty, and respect. With loneliness at epidemic levels, it's all the more important for us to know how to cultivate loving, healthy friendships. We often think that great friendships "just happen," but, like every truly wonderful relationship, solid friendships require effort and tender lovin...

Neurodiversity—the idea that each person experiences and interacts with the world around them in different ways—is a truly empowering concept. When we remove labels that promote a view of the self or others that is deficit-focused and embrace a strength-based approach, we reduce bias and judgment while promoting acceptance and forward momentum. I've certainly found that there is no one "right" way...

The power of sisterhood can be amazing despite—and sometimes because of—the imperfections each person brings to the relationship. When sisters unite in heart, soul, and energy, true magic can happen. And, as soul sisters know, sisterhood doesn't require biological connection to take root—it just requires loads of imperfect love. Books by Dr. Carla Manly:  Date Smart: Transform Your Relationships a...

From the norms that push people-pleasing behaviors to the influences of patriarchal households, it's easy to end up feeling small and boundaryless. In our natural quest to feel loved, accepted, and safe, we often never discover how to create and use healthy boundaries. The resulting lack of empowerment can prevent us from knowing and becoming our fullest, best selves. Can elephants, wolves, and go...

Looking for ways to create equality and balance at home? It’s exhausting when household responsibilities aren’t divvied up fairly. Even in today’s world, women often handle more household and childrearing duties than their partners—even when they’re also working full time. Research consistently shows that a balance in family duties—and in a relationship as a whole—fosters a healthy partnership and...